WCW World War 3 11/24/96

From beautiful (?) Norfolk, Virginia, in front of over 10,000 wrestling fans looking at three large gleaming wrestling rings set up like the Tri-Force, comes the only PPV appearances of Roadblock and Tony Rumble. Who couldn't want to watch this!? I've never seen it. Let's ride.

Rey Misterio Jr. vs. The Ultimate Dragon

ER: This was wild. Ultimo (I'm going to call him Ultimo, but used their weird Ultimate spelling above since they had it in their graphic) took like 85% of this match and won the thing about as definitively as someone could win a match. I guess I had forgotten that Rey became a big star, but they were still pushing Ultimo as a clearly bigger star. Dragon broke out every single piece of offense he knew and it all looked great. This whole thing is just a straight run of bigger and bigger moves. His leg kick combos looked crisp and looked really good for a guy who prides himself on not working stiff. His bodyslams looked Finlay stiff, so that was an awesome surprise. Soon he was building up to big backbreakers, a great tombstone piledriver, a piledriver on the floor, a powerbomb, a RUNNING powerbomb, vicious brainbuster...I mean it was a crazy one-sided beating and Misterio is really great at taking a one sided beating. The crowd gets almost uncomfortable watching Dragon just wreck Rey over and over.

Heenan: "Misterio has landed on the back of his head at least 15 times in this match!"

He's not wrong. Rey finally makes a little run by getting a boot up in the corner, but he overshoots an ambitious two rope split legged moonsault. Even Dusty has to point out on commentary that Misterio got like none of it. Rey has a couple nice rana roll ups, but it just makes more want to see more of Ultimo's awesome video game offense. And boy do I ever get my wish. Rey goes for a huge springboard rana, but Ultimo catches it, bounces him off the top rope, and then absolutely PLANTS Rey with a sitout powerbomb. It finishes the match, and looked like something that should have DEFINITELY finished the match.

Nick Patrick vs. Chris Jericho

ER: Goddamn this match rules. This makes me so pissed that we didn't get a run of Nick Patrick as a worker during this era WCW. He's like a god tier Danny McBride character in this match, just a magnificent stooge who genuinely looked like a better worker here than half of the active roster (and WCW had an impressive as hell roster). This match is brilliant. Jericho has one arm tied behind his back, and they work a fantastic match not only based around Jericho with one good arm, but Patrick doing mean offense to a guy with one arm while also convincingly taking a beating from that same man. Both guys' offense looks really good in this, Jericho pulling out a really impressive performance with use of only one arm, breaking out with a cool kick combo, a big leaping shoulderblock, actually some pretty impressive stuff with your body balance thrown off. But Nick Patrick is a real marvel here. He works like a great Memphis worker, throwing nice submarine angle uppercut right hands and fast excellently worked left jabs. He has as many doofus stooge faces as John Tatum, and any wrestler who tips the Tatum Scales for me is going to immediately be a guy who I champion. Patrick is not only a great bumper, he's able to take great bumps while conveying a guy who isn't someone who should be taking bumps.

I remember seeing an interview with Martin Landau about his wonderful performance in Ed Wood, where he talked about how seriously he took the role of Bela Lugosi; how he thought Lugosi was a true legend who he wanted to honor, so much that he thought out each aspect of the character in detailed fashion. And he talked about the crazy method depths he went to properly capture Bela, down to the fact that he didn't just want to do an accurate Romania accent, he wanted to do an accent of a Romanian man who was insecure about his accent negatively affecting his career. Nick Patrick seems to understand his role in this match as well as Landau knew what tone to use to play Lugosi. Nick Patrick brawled like Windham and stooged like Tatum, it's something I'm going to be impressed as hell by. Patrick uses the setting really well, brawling to the floor, hitting a cool ring post bump into a ring post joining two rings, setting up a spot where Jericho missed a punch and decked the ring post (Jericho played into all these transition spots GREAT), Patrick found cool ways to take this match into a couple rings and show off to several sides of the arena. That's an AMAZING skill. Patrick throws a ton of great punches throughout, great quick jabs, and then to show you how much of a rebel badass he is Nick Patrick does the Curt Hennig rolling neck snap! Patrick even takes a back drop bump, with Jericho setting it up impressively for a guy with one arm. This match was an absolute blast, I can't believe it isn't some kind of cult favorite. It's really great. Patrick is a legend and there's no sign that he'd even worked a match in the prior decade, and then he turns in this incredible performance?? I would have this super high on a 1996 MOTY List, as ridiculous as that sounds. Not just a superior gimmick match, but a superior pro wrestling match.

Giant vs. Jeff Jarrett

ER: This was pretty great, a cool bout derailed by a Crow Sting appearance that should have pissed off Jarrett and Giant. This match felt like a cool Coliseum Video hidden gem, like a cool Doink vs. Giant Gonzalez match that you've never heard anyone talk about. Giant was really quick and had different movement than when he was older and slower, so it was cool to see him throw a hard lariat with a lot more lunge. Jarrett bumped nice for him but also made sure his own shots looked good, and I like seeing the kind of shots in David/Goliath matches where the smaller guy jumps up for corner 10 count punches but gets shoved off, bumping backwards, and these two do a great version of that. Sting comes out and walks around the rafters, and Jarrett and Giant have to continue showing interest while literally the entire crowd is now watching Sting. But these two are good soldiers and this is a fun professional well worked match. Giant takes a big bump to the floor, and misses a big elbow drop off the middle buckle. He hits a hard bodyslam and this whole show can do no wrong.

We got a really great Hogan/Piper contract signing, genuinely up there with the great contract signings of all time, and I'm someone who really likes a good contract signing. The whole nWo is out there surrounding Piper, Hogan, Nash, Hall, Bischoff, Giant, all closing in as Piper talks tall. Hogan is really mean on the mic, some of his best mic work I've heard from this era. He keeps needling Piper about his hip, makes Piper lift up his kilt to show his hip surgery scar, says "I normally don't beat up cripples, but I can't wait to beat up a gimp!" Holy shit, that's pretty cruel. Piper getting jumped and doing his best to fight back while going down was great, and him staggering back to his feet before the nWo had completely left was a strong visual. I'd never really heard about this segment (and wasn't watching wrestling when this originally aired) but this should be talked about as one of the best examples of building interest in a match with a hot contract signing. I really want to watch Starrcade 96 right now.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Harlem Heat

ER: Guess what, this also ruled. This felt like an ECW house show tag, 4 big guys hitting hard and bumping hard, building to some awesome highspots. Rougeau was a great bumper in tags like this, really made Harlem Heat look like stars. Booker misses a high sidekick and catches the top rope, and the Canadians take control and the match keeps getting more fun. We build to this insane spot where the Canadians stack up a table across the ring corner, then put the RING STEPS on top of that table, and then already-insane-in-1996 PCO climbs to the top buckle and to the top of the ring steps, and MISSES the biggest cannonball ever attempted. This would have actually murdered Stevie Ray if he didn't get out of the way. I watched his ROH match from Mania weekend the day before I watched this and in that he gets powerbombed from the ring down to the floor - nobody catching him, just literally a powerbomb to the floor - and miss a cannonball from the top to the ring apron. This guy really is genuinely crazy, it's been happening for at least 23 years and at a certain point it can't be a work. PCO is nuts. Booker throws a ton of cherries on this delicious sundae with a vicious Harlem Hangover, that leg whipping perfectly and safely across PCO's jaw. Great 10 minute banger, best PPV ever so far.

We get a brief brawl between Col. Parker and Sherri Martel as part of the tag match stipulation, and it's freaking great. Sherri jumps him and the fans get way into it. Parker takes a huge bump over the top to the floor and Dusty is losing his shit the entire time, going absolutely bonkers. Sherri hits a couple flying clotheslines and a big crossbody off the top and the entire crowd is standing when she hits that crossbody. This is the perfect way to do a manager brawl, and I even wish we got a longer version of it.

Psychosis vs. Dean Malenko

ER: Goddamn this PPV absolutely smokes. This is a tough match with both guys staying tight and grounded, relying on some nice strikes and building to a couple big bumps, working a lot of more BattlArts style submission sections. The crowd is silent as hell which is a shame, they've been so hot for everything else and maybe they were already burned out? The PPV has been nothing but great matches and great promos. It's such a fun match to be quiet during, and they seem like a crowd who would be into their thing. Psychosis turns his rope flip bump but lands on his feet instead of head, and turns it into a cool spinkick comeback; it's like he used that bump the same way you see a rebound lariat and it was cool. Psychosis does make up for the missing "crazy bump" quota and take a nutso leap to nothing off the top and catching his face on the guardrail. It's one of those dangerous Psychosis bumps where you can't tell if he botched something, or if he's an all timer and missed that ugly on purpose (I think it was the latter). Dusty excitedly says "We in the midst of it" and it sounds cool and he's absolutely right. This whole thing had a cool WCW BattlArts vibe, cool subs and matwork with some flashy quick armdrag variations and so nice strikes, something that I might not have known how to process when this originally aired. Maybe that's why the crowd was so quiet. I seem to remember the general opinion being that these two were a disappointing "mainstay" cruiserweight match-up in WCW, but maybe that was just a stupid guy's opinion that got amplified too loud? Because this match ruled.

The Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear vs. The Nasty Boys

ER: Shit this PPV really does feel like the total embodiment of Where the Big Boys Play. This PPV has had a ton of big dudes running into each other. This match is filled with a cool mixture of stiff motherfucker and sneaky motherfucker, and that's a combination you don't often get from a big time professional wrestling company. This is more like a three way race on Scooby's Laff-A-Lympics, and Laff-A-Lympics as Wrestling is something I want right this very second. FoF and Nasty Boys especially kick the shit out of each other, mean knees to the face, chops to the neck, full force collisions; at one point Meng clotheslines Knobbs so hard that you wonder why you ever watch anything that isn't pro wrestling. Outsiders do an amusing job of staying out of this while the other two teams beat bruises into each other, clapping from the apron at the men performing for them. BUT then they get tagged in and Hall is throwing a nice right hand one moment, but then being choked and thrown violently into the corner by Barbarian. This is a legendary big boys battle and nobody is talking about it! I've heard absolutely no opinions on this show and it's fucking incredible. Barbarian slams into Hall with an avalanche that is not so much an avalanche as it is just Barbarian running full speed into Hall. We get an incredible moment of various guys leaping at and attacking guys on the apron, the whole thing feels messy and violent in the best ways. I think every guy in this match misses an elbow drop that they don't actually expect to me a missed elbow drop. Like there is honestly a match-long prank war to see who can make someone miss an elbow more painfully. There are multiple piledrivers, Jimmy Hart is wearing his Misfits jacket with fucking skulls on the shoulders, this whole thing rules. It's a long match, too, over 15 minutes, and it completely rules. I am so in the bag for this show. My god.

WORLD WAR 3!!!

ER: These things were terrible, right? I have a very large TV, and when they cut to three separate screens you officially can barely see a thing. I would wager most 1996 viewers were watching this, somehow, on a TV at least half the size of my 2019 TV. This is a 60 person nude beach fuckfest filmed by a guy hiding a half mile away in the bushes. It's the kind of thing that would actually be better if it was just fullscreen and they just switched cameras a ton. It's a damn shame really, you hate to see it, because you can't see it. Because from every minuscule camera shot this whole match REALLLY looked like it ruled. First, it's freaking weird. The entrance might be the best part as 60 different WCW guys just walk out single file and the order is almost completely unplanned, just an endless parade of guys that you mostly know. The whole thing had great energy, you just couldn't see 90% of it at any given time. We start with Benoit jumping Sullivan on the floor and brawling through the crowd (with Konnan and Ray Traylor?), Tony Rumble is not only in this match for reasons that wouldn't make any sense to me or anybody, but he's also the first eliminated and Dusty yells out on commentary "Tony Rumble IS GONE!" From there we get flashes of brilliance when we can actually see any of what's going on. Villano IV punches the hell out of Jarrett, Parka punches people, a ton of eliminations look fantastic (Dave Taylor flies wildly off an Alex Wright dropkick, Road Block - in his only PPV appearance - eats a huge clothesline, we get a spot where 8 different guys do running corner attacks on Ron Studd and then DOGPILE him in the ring!), and the final 10 is a fantastic collection of the nWo vs. DDP, Regal, Luger, and Rey. It's so damn good. Once they get back to fullscreen and run through all the nWo vs. WCW, it really shows how hot of a battle royal this appeared to be. Regal tricks DDP into charging him and DDP flies to the floor, it takes Hall, Nash, and Syxx to eliminate Regal and he fights the whole way, and while the Giant win was exciting it really should have been Luger. The EASY MVP of the match was Regal. Every single time he popped into camera he looked like a megastar, and he was by far the greatest part of that final 8. Regal was an incredible fighting babyface here, and he stood out more than anybody throughout the entire match; from lacing into Riggs early on to walking tall right up to his elimination, this is an underrated great Regal performance.

ER: Wow, what a PPV. This is honestly one of the best PPVs I've ever watched. This needs to be discussed more. I need to do a podcast where I have a new guest on and we just watch and talk about World War 3 1996. New week, new guest, same PPV.

World War 3 and Me.