Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 6: Break the Machine

TL: Vampiro Fashion Update: Substitute teacher who heard you really liked Neil Degrasse-Tyson’s “Cosmos,” but also believes the world is flat.

Paul London vs. Dezmond X

ER: This was a good enough parkour thigh slap match, although I think it's odd they didn't do any kind of immediate follow up on London possibly killing Son of Havoc's best friend. I also thought it was silly to have London lose so easily to Xavier, even with Rabbit Tribe interfering. Savage LSD soaked murderers should get at least a little protection. London was really amusing in this, bumping around as fast as he ever has, none of his boy's interference working, missing hard leaping avalanches, leaning into jumping kicks from Xavier, always looking like he's struggling to keep up. Xavier was fine, but LU always has a few of him around, I would rather see more resurgent London.

TL: I was thinking about guys like Desmond X and a lot of it has to do with that his style is now the norm on the indies. Guys who are in that 150-200 pound range, have athleticism, maybe does one spot different than other guys of his ilk, but don’t have anything that stands out in a way that’s a cut above anyone like it. That seems really basic and obvious to some, but that’s kind of the issue I have: What’s the point of having that type of athleticism if everyone else has it? I’ve been hyping 205 Live all year long, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that the guys on that show have figured out how to co-exist in ways that don’t seem redundant to other folks on the show. Anyways, as I wrote this, we got to the finish where Desmond reverses a Dodon into a roll-up to win the medallion, but there wasn’t much that he did that made me feel like he made an impact. Also, how does London not come out with blood-stained clothes, man? Huge missed opportunity.

ER: The Papa Cueto stuff is suuuuuuuuuper garbage you guys. Any mic time from him is an automatic pass. BUT he gives us an impromptu battle royal with all the Gift of the Gods people, so I can't be all that grouchy. But the battle royal is only a couple minutes long and not much. Muertes press slammed Ivelisse onto Cuerno on the floor. All the eliminations came quick until we were left with Havoc and Mack, and Havoc eliminated himself with a tope con hilo, because he values friendship. That was pretty pointless, as there were many ways we could have gotten to the "somebody taken out of Gift of the Gods". Hopefully this puts Muertes into something more interesting than a scramble match.

TL: If Papa Cueto has been around for over 40 years like he said, you’d think he’d learn how to speak in a way that didn’t make me want to change the channel. Eric and I are calling a battle royal for the first time ever at PPW’s 4thanniversary show in November, and we are both as excited as you could expect considering Eric’s love for battle royals and my ability to win battle royal pools at his birthday parties, so anytime you get folks going over the top for anything, we’re gonna love it. The kitsch that Papa brings to the table was funny for maybe two shows or so, but seeing it every show for what will be like…what, 10 months’ worth of shows? Good lord. Like how Mil came off here: Got almost everyone out, and by doing so, was the odd man out because Mack didn’t think he could hang. Mil should be in the title picture anyways, so doing this match seemed a step below him, so I’m fine with this. Now let Mack win and strap him already!

Vibora vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: I went from not liking this, to kind of checking out on this, to enjoying it by the end. Vibora had a really great ring clearing run-in a couple weeks ago, looking the best he's looked on LU. Here he started off back to slow luchasaurus, working a plodding move for move match with Mundo that felt like it wasn't really going anywhere. Then Mundo hit an insane looking tumbleweed to the floor into Kobra Moon, crazy looking spot. That got my attention. But by this time more lizards were coming in and more Worldwide Underground were getting involved, it was feeling too Attitude Era, and Mundo overshot his twisting moonsault as he always does, and Vibora got an unexpected kickout. I don't know why I got more interested in the match then, but I did. It doesn't make sense to me, as I wasn't digging the match, so you'd think the match going longer would be bad news, but the kickout was well done and worked. Now, it was certainly weird that at this point the lizard clan were clearly the tecnicos, and seeing tecnico luchasaurus trying silly Burning Hammer variations, or take a reverse rana, or kick a chair out of Mundo's hand was fun, and Mundo's headkick parkour was working. I do wish Vibora showed some of the energy that he showed in his big moment a couple weeks ago, but he was definitely connecting with the crowd here. They won me over, wasn't expecting it.

TL: I’ve been all about Vibora’s extended offensive showing, so as long as he isn’t out here just doing the usual big guy offense, I’ll be into it. And sure enough, after Johnny’s good start, Vibora gains control and starts on offense and I’m digging it! Last season, Vibora was easily the most skippable guy probably in the entire fed, and now I’m out here digging what he brings to the table. Super strange, man. That Johnny dive was absolutely nutso, a no-look somersault plancha to his periphery. Really insane stuff, one of those spots to remind you Johnny is still amazingly athletic. The Worldwide Underground/Reptile Tribe stuff was okay, I guess, but I also was digging what happened leading up to it, so I didn’t feel like I needed to see it. Weird to have this type of chicanery-filled match when it isn’t the main event, too, but I have to hand it to them as they worked it rather well. Vibora got to show off his offense (He’s not a seven-footer, but that offense is nuts for a guy his size, still), and that finish was CHOICE. I’m a huge sucker for Akira Taue’s super nodowa, and here Johnny takes it off a damn springboard. I loved this showing from Vibora, what a damn turnaround for him.

ER: The XO Lishus Flashdance workout with Jack Evans spying his competition from around the corner clearly looked like something that Ted Cruz would have open in a tab, but Lishus really comes off like a potential star. The Ricky Mundo talking doll stuff is too try hard, but I liked his interaction with Evans.

TL: I don’t get why you feel the need to give someone a doll, but Jack Evans can make literally everything work, and XO’s got the stuff to really break out. I get this is a means to the end of Evans and Angelico rejoining, but still, too much goofiness here, even with Jack selling his ass off for Ricky's doll nonsense.

Cage vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I wanted more out of this one, and that's always going to be the case in Pentagon matches now that he seemingly takes 75% of them. He's picked a lot of the worst offense to make up his repertoire, the slingblade and backcracker variations all need to disappear, and when he's up against someone with super cool offense like Cage it just doesn't play well. It feels like all the people I want to win this season are being used as cannon fodder for guys I don't like. The stuff around ringside was good, some rough falls on the temple steps and over the handrail, bumps into chairs and Cage thudding nicely when taking the slingblade. But in-ring it's mostly Pentagon, and not very interesting. The package piledriver was impressive, but this just isn't the horse I want to see backed.

TL: I can’t get over Pentagon, who is maybe 5’9” (listed at 5’11”, my ass), going basically eye to eye with Cage here. The mask tying part is really good stuff, but like Eric said, Penta getting so much offense seems a bit much considering who he’s up against. Cage has barely shown that even a guy lie Muertes can do much against him, but Penta going 50/50 with him, especially with how Cage is portrayed, seems too try hard. Never need to see a damn Canadian Destroyer again, but yeah, two of those and the Fear Factor seem about right to put Cage down, I guess? Super push for Penta is officially questionable now, especially when Cage gets to get his heat back afterwards, too. Penta already beat him clean in like seven minutes; what good does him being able to stop the arm breaking do? Should have stopped the pinfall from happening, man.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND