CWF Mid-Atlantic Worldwide Episode 129

Episode 129

1. Mike Mars vs. Metallicon

ER: Ugh Metallico? I hated his pants (with belt!), hated his stupid soft flipping bumps. He should have left in a body bag. I think Mars was too kind. But I like Mars' look and presence and really look forward to him having a hoss war with someone. Mars vs. Mecha or a match-up with Justice sound really good right now.

PAS: I had no problem with Metallico (or is it Metallicon? Youtube has it one way, Stuttsy said it another), he took a horrid bump on the big boot and landed unfortunately on that spinebuster, he is no Cool J, but I love that CWF-MA has a stable of jobbers willing to die.

2. Otto Schwanz vs. Chris "TNT" Taylor

ER: I had never seen Taylor before, and he seemed to tire out pretty early into this match. It's fine, as the match wasn't very long, but it didn't do much to make me want to see more of him. He did an ugly famouser and looked like he was breathing heavy getting up on the second turnbuckle. The headlock sequences were fun and I love the facials Otto makes while giving and receiving headlocks. Him administering a headlock is the best as he'll throw in rabbit shots to the back of the head and look crazed, and then while Taylor turns the tables Otto gets this funny distant look in his eyes like "this guy is trying this on ME?" We build to Otto catching an axe handle with a bearhug, and he plants him with a nice spinebuster to finish (Stuck him!).

PAS: I will pretty much enjoy Otto in anything, but this tested the limits. Taylor is in the bottom tenth of guy on CWF, those second rope axehandles looked terrible, and his cardio was pretty bad. Schwanz was fun, and he cracked him with that spinebuster. Nothing to see here, keep moving.

ER: Andrews and Valiant come out to try and bully Stutts and a kid dressed as Randy Savage into giving him his title shot rematch. Stutts says that it was actually Andrews who said that Stutts shouldn't decide who gets TV title matches, and I don't think I realized that the "name out of the hat" defense was because of Andrews. We get some fun back and forth with Valiant and Andrews jawing about how their names probably aren't even in the bucket, and the best part was easily Andrews silently mean mugging the kid when he didn't draw his name. I need to learn how to make GIFs just to get Andrews stoic reaction while staring at the kid. Though this just further illustrates how much more I'd rather see regular Andrews/Valiant appearances instead of what they got replaced with.

3. Jesse Adler vs. Ethan Alexander Sharpe

ER: This was another in a continuing trend of awesome Sharpe performances, and in the first actual full match I've seen from Adler I was still left underwhelmed. Adler has a lot of  that offense that requires his opponent to run at him in just a certain way. Sometimes the stuff looks good (I liked his little sliding kick in the corner), other times it looks phony. But luckily, Sharpe is a real son of a bitch here, and it makes the match mostly work. Once Sharpe starts attacking the leg we get gold, starting with him grabbing those knees and slamming them patella first into the apron. Man that looked painful. Sharpe was really great with the knee work, I especially loved this low dropkick he did off the ropes: It was so fast and low and precise and violent, genuinely looked like it upended Adler. The longer this went the more I wanted a Sharpe victory. I mean, I wanted a Sharpe victory the moment his name was pulled and he told Andrews to "take his tall ass to the back". But man the brief Adler comeback was really awful, with Sharpe missing a telegraphed elbow and Adler hitting one of those standing shooting star presses that barely make any contact, and look more like Adler slipped on icy steps and landed on his face. This TV title reign is a huge mistake so far.

PAS: I actually thought most of Adler's performance in this was fine. The match mainly called for him to sell a bad knee and he did a nice job. A lot of the cool offense by Sharpe depended on Adler taking creative bumps on the knee, I loved how he dropped knee first on Sharpe's low dropkick. Unfortunately Adler's dated highflyer offense kills matches dead, if you are going to work as an indy highflyer in 2017 you need more then Queenan Creeds move set and execution, that kick/shooting star press combo is rough. Adler should really watch some Kyle Matthews matches, focus on simple stuff and selling and execute it well, he would be much better off with a second rope splash and a dropkick then that goofus kick and no height shooting star. Sharpe has really turned a corner, he is such a fervent asskicker now, he honestly should shave the look at me moustache and dump the "I'm a rich guy" gimmick and just be an asskicker, he has moved past the bush league stuff.

4. Arik Andrews vs. Cam Carter

ER: Fun match with some nice moving parts. You had Lee Valiant cheating on the floor while avoiding Adler. Carter is a good babyface and would have been a more interesting choices as TV champ. We could make a pretty substantial list of CWF guys who would have been more interesting. Carter hits a big flip dive on Andrews and Valiant, later Valiant sweeps his legs on the apron. Andrews isn't a guy with a lot of offense,being capitalizing on guys missing moves or grabbing them by the tights to throw them through the ropes or into a turnbuckle, things like that. I seem to always like those guys. Though I really wish if they were fine with Andrews getting beat, that they would have just actually let the person winning the title beat him in a competitive match. I always hate the surprise flash pin title change. Anyway, we get more great "Are you fucking kidding me?" Andrews face after the match, which almost makes up for this.

PAS: It was a mistake to have a Cam Carter match right after pushing Adler as a highflyer. Everything Carter does has so much more explosion and height then anything Adler does. These guys match up really well, I liked the pace shifts with Carter wanting to go fast and Andrews slowing it down, it is like watching a fast break team like the Warriors play the Memphis Grizzlies. Really liked the way Carter kept escaping the asphalt spike and the finish was really well executed.

5. Mace Li/Arik Royal vs. Sandwich Squad

ER: Quality main, with the Squad chopping and squishing Mace Li. At one point Mecha goes to chop him and you can hear Mace go "Not again!" before his chest gets caved in. Mecha is really great, arguably the best big fat guy we get to see on a regular basis (as sadly the big fat guy appears to be dying off in pro wrestling, which is beyond stupid), he throws big meaty shots and gets good speed on avalanches, and when he bumps you really see his body settle and the ring shake. Arik Royal plays this match with a great detached cockiness, so it totally works when he makes bugged out faces taking a backdrop, drops a smirking elbow on Biggs' side, or he's coldly uppercutting Biggs with a brass knux shot to the back of the head. I've never seen Mace Maeda so I didn't get any of the clear inside jokes about Li/Maeda, but I liked Li's bat shots on the floor as a way to get Mecha out of the match. Finish was good, involving everyone, with Biggs hitting an awesome crossbody to get what probably could have been a 30 count, Gemini distracts the ref and the knux get thrown in, CLvira gets the knux, but Royal gets them (or another pair?) and clocks Biggs. The Squad hasn't really had any classic tags yet, but I don't think there's a match they've had that I haven't fully enjoyed.

PAS: Man did I love Royal in this, he is one of the best guys in the world at combining stooging and violence, he really reminds me of a prime Arn Anderson. He is great at furiously complaining about the match and cringing as Li gets smacked, and then he flips the switch and lays into the Sandwich Squad, his running tackle right into Mecha was awesome, it was like a compact car running into a aquarium full of jello. Also the uppercut with the knuckles was as good a knuckle shot as I can remember seeing. Li was their to take a beating, and he was great at wincing at every huge open hand chop, and brutally eats a Mecha clothesline which was almost Hansenesque.

ER: Also, shout out to CLvira Party. This was a pretty big role for her to have throughout the show and I thought it was consistently amusing. The Elvira intro was good, and I liked her during the apple bobbing segment. If this ever builds to some kind of mixed tag with her and Jarray Caray on opposing sides, I'm game.

PAS: That was a really great Elvira impression, which is kind of strange. How old is CL Party? I am 41 and Elvira was really a reference that was a little old for me, seems strange for a girl in her 20s to have such a pitch perfect Elvira impression in her tool box