SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!! SWS Wrestle Dream in Kobe 4/1/91

Bringing it Straight and Strong, we start with a slowly panning back shot of a padded dining room chair sitting in the woods, with bad hotel flower art propped on top of it. The camera pans back through the trees, the sun's rays reflecting off the frame of the bad art, obscuring it's image. In the background we see cars flashing by, so these "woods" are basically just off a roadway. What a curious intro. Straight and Strong T-Rex saves us from whatever that deleted scene from the Ring videotape was.

1. Kenichi Oya vs. Masao Orihara

ER: We get some kind of perfunctory matwork through the first half of this, not bad but nothing that was going to factor in to the finish in any way. There are still great little things, like Orihara thudding on a HARD mat after a big missed senton and Oya being a bit of a bully with hard bodyslams. Orihara slips on a springboard (which feels like a sentence I've typed before in SWS reviews. But Oya keeps him honest and soon things break open with Orihara hitting a huge moonsault to the floor. Back in Orihara throws a Saito suplex but Oya shifts his weight, landing awkwardly on Orihara. Oya shows him how to throw a mean suplex, dumping him rudely on his head. Oya muscles him into the buckles and charges, and Orihara just obliterates him with a mule kick, pushing up and back off the top rope. Oya look like he got kicked by a horse. He rolls over and he's drooling. He kicks out, and immediately blasts Orihara with a great short arm western lariat. Awesome finishing stretch to an otherwise inoffensive match.

2. Samson Fuyuki vs. Tatsumi Kitahara

ER: A not bad chubsters match with a sloppily executed finish that draws deserving boos from the crowd. Fuyuki seems kind of on autopilot mode throughout, though both men really do aim to smother on their chinlocks and that kind of thing at least raises the floor of a match. Things snap a bit once Kitahara starts throwing roundhouse kicks, although Fuyuki sells some of them kind of funny. They fumble around a little while Kitahara does a couple DDTs, though Fuyuki starts bumping them early both times. Finish is a total flop, with Fuyuki going for a suplex off the top, Kitahara shifts weight and lands directly on top, and then Fuyuki just rolls out from under and pins him. So Fuyuki pinned him...after taking a move from him. The crowd was correct to boo. This could have and should have been better.

3. Yoshiaki Fujiwara vs. Fumihiro Niikura

ER: Niikura got bossed around by Greg Valentine in a later SWS show I watched, so knowing Niikura was lowest on the SWS hierarchy (other than probably Don Arakawa) got me excited for overmatched underdog vs. Fujiwara. And it is about as one-sided as things can get, with Fujiwara even acting like Niikura's attacks aren't hurting him, and openly mocking him. And that stuff would have been fine, if it had lead to any kind of comeuppance then this match could have been special. Fujiwara is at the peak of his magic here, so even him bullying a guy and taking 90% of the match is really fun. It's peak period Fujiwara having a sparring session, and there's value to that. He shrugs off some spirited strikes and blasts Niikura with his own combo; He let's Niikura get him in a heel hook just so he can reverse it. He wrenches in holds just far enough from the ropes that Niikura has to fight to reach them, and the escapes do progress to real drama as it becomes a game of "how long will Niikura last?" Fujiwara is stronger, craftier, more talented, etc. So what chance could Niikura have? But watching him survive, watching him not give up, him knowing as much as us how little chance he has but still not quitting until his arm was bent disgustingly underneath him. We get a charismatic Fujiwara showcase and a gutsy underdog performance from Niikura, and that's enough.

4. Masakatsu Funaki vs. Naoki Sano

ER: I was kind of surprised at what a one-sided mugging this was. Sano never felt entirely out of the match, but he also never looked like he had a shot against Funaki. Funaki always has a prickish charisma, even when he's not overtly being a prick. He bullies Sano around with kicks and even a sick German suplex at one point, getting in close with palm strikes to open Sano up for kicks. The only break Sano gets is when he accidentally kicks Funaki low. Funaki comes back from that with a vengeance but Sano seems close to figuring him out and even hits a fast German of his own...that Funaki immediately turns into an armbar for the tap. This was all well done shootstyle, though never built up very much drama. Both guys looked impressive, but I need some more pro wrestling drama in my shootstyle.

5. Great Kabuki/Takashi Ishikawa vs. Kendo Nagasaki/Ishinriki

ER: Ishinriki always tricks me, as I regularly forget who he is, and his name seems like he's going to be a big lumpy scowling sumo guy. So I'm always surprised when I see him and get reminded that he's more of a Kobayashi or young Hase. And his early stuff is a little flimsy, including a spinning heel kick that looks like it shouldn't have even moved Ishikawa. Things change for the better when Kabuki tags in and just cracks Ishinriki with an uppercut, leaving him down on the mat holding his jaw. Ah. Now we can get down to business. He was a little miscast in this match anyway, as this should have been about large thick-torsoed brutes smacking into each other, and he wasn't going to contribute to that; nor did he contribute to much underdog babyface work. Instead he was treated as a kind of equal to the others, which I thought didn't work. He did hit a huge springboard crossbody to the floor late in the match on Ishikawa, and I was not expecting that, but the big guys falling on each other was always going to be the better part of the match. Kabuki squaring off with Nagasaki was a nice lumpy highlight, and the moments we got of Kabuki picking on Ishinriki were inspired (including his great stiff leg thrust kick), but this could have been more.

6. John Tenta vs. Koji Kitao

ER: This is a pretty infamous match, where Kitao got booted out of the fed after deciding mid match that he didn't want to sell for Tenta. The unprofessionalism adds to the aura of the match, as these are two big dudes clearly not getting along, and when the mood changes you start seeing the sinister looks and get into the gamesmanship. This is a match where not a lot of things happen, neither guy takes a bump, but it's always intriguing due to that danger factor. I love sumo on sumo matches anyway, so sumos that hate each other? Yes. Obviously. Now it clearly would have been much better if their hate turned into nasty strikes instead of just uncooperative lock ups, but there's still intrigue to be had. Kitao throws some sneaky low kicks, Tenta gets pissed and throw one of his own, Kitao throws a tantrum and throws a table outside (that's the point where Tenta has a clear "What the fuck are you doing?" face). Tenta shouts him down the rest of the match, keeps his distance without backing down (even pointing to his head at one point to show how smart he is!). Kitao starts comically holding out his fingers to eyepoke him! Tenta still doesn't back down, eventually Kitao shootkicks the ref for the DQ. Kitao was basically out of wrestling for 3 years after this, getting KO'd by Takada at some point before his boy Tenryu brought him in to WAR. Once the ref rang for the bell Tenta laughed and raised his arms right in Kitao's face. The way Tenta handled this match just made me love him more.

7. George Takano vs. Bret Hart

ER: The word "solid" kind of gets thrown around a lot to describe wrestlers, and it usually seems to be used as a replacement for "I can't think of anything this guy does that is spectacular, but he also doesn't offend my senses". I don't use solid that way, and this was a solid match. Workmanlike. Simple. Effective. Solid. It's more of a Takano match than a Hart match, which is amusing as Takano is basically Japanese Bret Hart. So you get to see the Bret Hart you've seen countless solid, workmanlike 12 minute matches, versus a Bret Hart with a different moveset. It's satisfying. It's like a better version of Michael Fassbender kissing himself in Alien: Covenant. Hart works subtle heel which makes this much better, as the changes are minor but just the thought of a good sportsmanship handshake fest sounds dull. So instead you had hart bumping hard on suplexes and doing little things like rub Takano's eyes across the top rope. It warmed my heart on a cold rainy day to hear that eye burn get actual boos from the crowd. Takano and Hart each have a nice offense, and both use it well here. Hart really snaps him on the backbreaker, and especially plants that knee into his undercarriage on the atomic drop. He whiffs on the elbow drop off the middle, allowing Takano to take back over and eventually win with a big splash (featuring a kickout damn close to the 3 by Hart). There were tons of little joys in this, aggressive lock-ups from Takano, Hart taking his always violent chest bump into the buckles even faster than normal, Hart bodyslamming Takano only for Takano to hold onto a snug hammerlock on the way over (a spot I don't see much anymore and truly miss), tight Takano cravates, simple vertical suplexes landing hard. This was simple, solid, effective pro wrestling. Match of the night so far.

8. Randy Savage vs. Genichiro Tenryu

ER: I honestly don't know if I've ever seen a Savage match in Japan before this. I don't think he ever went on any tours pre-WWF, worked a few SWS shows and probably did a 90s WWF tour at some point, but I don't recall ever seeing Savage in Japan. Savage gets on the mic and does a short promo like you'd hear from a villain at a theme park action-adventure live show aimed at children: "I'm gonna git you Tenryu, YEAH!" And this is a match up between two legends that you've never really thought about matching up, and it's a real blast. Savage is a more overt heel than Hart was in the prior match, throwing his tassel jacket at Tenryu, jumping out of the ring a couple times to avoid him, jawing with fans, and finally hiding behind Earl Hebner to sneak in a cheap jab on Tenryu. In other words, the match is awesome. Tenryu bullies around Savage with stiff chops, but Savage is the one who keeps going back to eyerakes, and it was weirdly worked like a modern Lesnar/Samoa Joe match where they both kind of immediately go for the kill and start spamming finishers. Tenryu hits an early folding powerbomb that Savage kicks out of, Tenryu kicks out of a Macho elbow drop, and the crowd is feeling it. Savage hits two different axe handles off the top to the floor, with Tenryu selling them like death shots, bumping one of them over the guardrail onto a table. Big part of the match comes when Tenryu gets Savage up for a huge backdrop suplex, but Savage shifts weight and lands full force on Tenryu's face. At least, it appears as if he landed full force, because Tenryu masterfully sells it as if his eye socket got caved in. Tenryu already holds the award for "best piledriver sell", here he's clutching at his nose and eyes with both hands, and he's so damn good that it really looks like something is wrong. Savage hits two Macho elbows but it's not enough to put Tenryu away, and soon hits two leaping, falling elbows of his own (I always love Tenryu's trust fall elbow, as it always looks like he's an inch away from rearranging a guy's face) and Savage kicks out of those! Fans are feeling this, I'm feeling this, you're feeling this. Tenryu eventually folds him with another powerbomb, really pinning to make it impossible for Savage to kick out. The struggle to get to the powerbomb was real good and kind of sloppy, giving it a little more authenticity. Savage blocked it and fell onto him for a pin, but Tenryu immediately rolled through, hoisted him up and planted him. Savage looked like he was somewhat sandbagging each powerbomb, but moreso probably was just avoiding getting dropped from too high an angle. This was a super fun singles match up that I had no clue ever happened (let alone a couple times), and cheating heel Savage in Japan was just too good. Awesome stuff.

9. Yoshiaki Yatsu vs. Hulk Hogan

ER: We all know Hogan tends to work differently when he goes to Japan, but this felt even more different than what I've seen before. Even his ring entrance is weird as he seems almost embarrassed to be coming out to Real American, almost eyerolling as he rips his tank top off. But the first 4 minutes of this are the flat out most awesome Hogan you've seen. They take it to the mat and mat Hogan is flat out the best. He takes Yatsu down and locks in a half nelson cravate, which is awesome. We get cool headlock takeovers, a freaking rolling armbar, wristlock go behinds, a Boston crab, just Hogan very competently working the mat as if it was totally normal. Things get a little clunkier once we stand up. He hits a real great back suplex on Yatsu, but really isn't great at taking Yatsu's offense, stumbling awkwardly to his knees on a bulldog and getting seemingly crossed up on some rope running that ends with Yatsu hitting a weird looking leaping punch to the nose. One of them hit their mark way too early and Hogan was left rubbing at the bridge of his nose the rest of the match. Yatsu doesn't give Hogan any chance to wuss out of a powerslam though, as he hits a real powerful doozy. It ends anticlimactically with Hogan hitting a weak axe bomber (his missed axe bomber earlier in the match looked much better). So the last 4 was ugly, but the first 4 minutes were magic. We need a Hogan on the Mat comp.

ER: The WWF matches actually saved this show, which I was not expecting, with Hart/Takano and Savage/Tenryu being really good, the Hogan match bringing the sheer mat joy, and Tenta/Kitao at least bringing intrigue. Outside of that we still got fun performances from Kabuki, Fujiwara, and Kitahara, so the show worked fine for me.


COMPLETE SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!!