Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 12: Three's a Crowd

ER: Dario crushed it in that opening segment. "No, I like my plan better" and "Yeah yeah we know. You're a machine" were classically delivered. He really knows how to play off of wrestling acting.

PAS: Dario is really great, the material he is stuck with is really hit or miss, but I just love his delivery.

1. Argenis vs. Killshot

ER: Striker says it's been many months since we've seen Argenis, and then in the same breath talks about how we saw him in Aztec Warfare. You know, a few episodes ago. It feels like half the episodes this season have opened with a freaking Killshot match. Vampiro talks about how Killshot's movements have been more "military" since coming in with new gear. A) what the fuck is military movement in pro wrestling, and B) how can anything Killshot does be compared to any kind of military? Was it his kick that whiffed? Was it his double somersault ace crusher? Was it the Argenis superkick he sold by not realizing he had been kicked and continuing to climb the ropes? Striker and Vampiro are now ONLY talking about Killshot as a soldier, something not mentioned until last week. Every fucking thing he does now relates to an IED blast or PTSD. It's fucking awful.

PAS: I thought this was the best Killshot has looked,which is an incredibly low bar. His new gear is kind of cool, and I suppose him having some gimmick is better then no gimmick. Still Killshot is still Killshotting.


2. Daga vs. Texano

ER: Did somebody get hurt in this one? Was there a clip? Or do both men just have the magical ability to look good one moment and then like really bad pro wrestlers the next, usually with neither looking good at the same time. Early on Daga sells a move by awkwardly holding his groin, and then spends most of the match selling his left arm despite no work being done on the arm, and then would spent a couple moments not selling the arm...but then would go right back to selling the arm. He also had multiple moments of bumping moves before they came close to hitting him, like when he just waiting to be kicked off the ropes to the floor, but fell off before Texano got there. Or later when Texano threw some of the worst lariats I've ever seen, and they would have looked bad even if Daga hadn't already been bumping them before they made contact. I mean that segment where Daga takes a mistimed bump when Texano barely grazes him with a lariat, followed by Daga taking a flip bump from a lariat before it reaches him, was one of the very ugliest things I've seen on LU. I don't even know if I'd expect to see something that embarrassing in a Sexy Star match. For a guy I've liked before, Texano sure has gotten the very least out of a lot of guys so far. Daga is one of those guys who wrestles with an extreme disconnect. Sometimes his stuff looks good, but he always looks like he's thinking about how to execute the move, and what step comes next in his routine, instead of making it look like a natural exchange between two bodies.

PAS: I thoughts parts of this looked pretty good, they were definitely working pretty stiff although the LU sound sweetening was working over time. I agree that those clotheslines looked terrible, but I think this mostly achieved what they were shooting for. Nothing I would ever watch twice, didn't really make me want to see either guy again, but no need to slur them with the Sexy Star curse.

ER: Why the hell is Muertes still hanging out with the Disciples of Death? Shouldn't he have murdered them by now for making him look like such a poor supervisor? They love their comedy skits, so have Muertes in a shortsleeve button up and bad necktie, telling the DoD that their poor performance reflects poorly on him as their supervisor. "I created you from lightning, and trusted you to accomplish the clear goals I set out for you. But I don't want to spend my time micromanaging you, telling you how to do every step of your job. Productivity is DOWN, and we need to get better." And then he makes their heads explode like in fucking Scanners. There, I just took 20 seconds to write a better shitty "real life job" sketch than the police officer nonsense they're running.

3. Rey Mysterio, Dragon Azteca Jr. & Prince Puma vs. Johnny Mundo, Taya & Cage

ER: Fun match, although maybe I had expectations higher than I realized, as I was left hoping for more. I actually thought it was a match that succeeded far more at the little things, with then"big spots" leaving me a little flat. Little story and character moments like Rey getting yanked off the apron before the hot tag, or Cage rebelling against his forced tag partners by using Taya as a weapon and tagging in Mundo by slapping him, those kind of moments hit HUGE. But some of the big spots came off flat and overly planned. Dragon Azteca made a nice match debut, some of his spots looked really good (Mundo tossing him in the air only for him to grab a DDT on his way down looked awesome) but needs to tighten up his strikes. At one point he kicked Cage in the stomach to break something up and Cage hadn't realized he'd been kicked. They built to the Rey hot tag really well, and I oddly got really excited for a Rey/Taya singles. Taya has the charisma to pull off being a good Rey opponent, and I dug Rey's interactions with her in this. The go home stretch was good, the build to it was good as happened as it should have, I was just left a little...well I guess I wanted more. I'm difficult.

PAS: I liked this more then Eric did, I thought this was pretty pitch perfect for a spotfest trios match. Rey looked incredible, he looks like he has regained 75% of his speed and he was just bolting around the ring. It is incredible that Rey is as old as he is and he looks athletically on the level of kids like Azteca and Puma. Loved all of Cage's power spots, slamming two guys at once, catching Puma in mid air in suplex position, he sometimes overdoes it in singles but is a great multiman guy. Just exciting spot after exciting spot, with a little bit of story and a superstar team working great together.

ER: Feels like they're going to Matanza/Muertes far too soon. I guess they don't have anywhere else to build to, they're clearly the two big monsters and everyone wants to see them go up against each other. It just feels like these two won't meet JUST one time, so maybe I'm not as excited for this match, assuming it will be just something to set up another match? I dunno. But I liked the almost oddly touching moment between Dario and Matanza, with Dario telling him he's the most valuable thing in the world to him. It's a sentence that can be viewed as both exploitative, or strongly affectionate, which is why it was so good.


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