The Comprehensive Segunda Caida Review of nWo Souled Out, Part I

Months back I did a fire fundraiser for my friend and co-worker Jan, who lost her home and all of her possessions in a terrible rampaging forest fire that scorched 2,000 structures and ended up costing $700 million in insurance losses. Many of you kindly and lovingly donated, and with my donations I was able to raise well over $500 for her. In the grand scheme of life, it's not a whole lot. But I have no doubt that it helped immensely in the moment. One of the requests of me, from reader Nick P, has not yet been written by me. Here's Nick's request:

"Hiya, big fan of your work. Extra points for how sweet it is to do this.

Anyway I donated $20, and since I've never read a satisfyingly substantive analysis of the pay-per-view anomaly that is the original nWo Souled Out (1997), that is my request. Presumably it's in there on the Network... I'd link but I don't have a subscription. Thanks.

(Would have chosen the ranking of Lawler punches but you'll probably get to that on your own someday.)"

Not only did he break out a fine Marvin Monroe "Hiya", but he even takes things far enough to politely compliment me in two distinct and equally wonderful ways, feigning that he both is a big fan of my work, while also thinking I'm sweet (an underrated and underutilized compliment for a man to receive from another man). So he's already off to a great start.

And onto the request itself, for a satisfyingly substantive analysis of the original nWo Souled Out PPV from 1997. Now I can tell you that I have never seen this PPV, as it occured during a period where I had yet to get back into pro wrestling, and upon coming back into the fold of pro wrestling viewers I would not say I actively avoided this PPV, but didn't find it necessary to go far out of my way to see this PPV. Because, as some of you likely know, it's not supposed to be a very good PPV. I truthfully don't even know what matches are on the card, but I seem to remember without Googling anything that it was not well received. And Nick wants a "satisfyingly substantive analysis". In life, mostly, I am a man of my word. And because of that I want to give Nick everything he possibly could have desired or meant when he requested a "satisfyingly substantive analysis" of nWo Souled Out 1997. I am going to do the most exhaustive, pointless, dreadful, and poorly researched piece of writing than any human has ever done on this PPV. And all because Nick was a kind enough person to help out a stranger in need. And Nick, this is all possible because of you. I hope you enjoy this. If not, you know...just feel free to request something else.


CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - The year was 1997, and mayor Lee Clancey had a vision. He had accomplished his first vision in 1995, when he was named "mayor with the most racist sounding name in Cedar Rapids' history". Lee Clancey wanted to bring pay per view professional wrestling to his city. Previous mayors had brought in large attractions: Don Canney brought in globally acclaimed asshole shitnoise makers Yes; Larry Serbousek brought in a minor league Twins affiliate and a pretty nice shopping mall; but Clancey wanted to bring THEE World Championship Wrestling in to play the grandaddy of them all, The Five Seasons* Center.

Cedar Rapids has the 2nd largest population in Iowa, a fact you would know if you drove past their official city sign, which reads "Now entering Cedar Rapids. We're not Des Moines, but we're sure as hell not Dubuque." Clancey read that sign almost every day, as he drove past it on his way to the Office of the Mayor from his nearby home in Iowa City. "We're not Dubuque. We're never going to be Dubuque. But if I can bring in the biggest pro wrestling stars in the world, maybe the world will finally stop getting us mixed up with Dubuque. Hollywood Hogan, Scotty Riggs, Kevin Nash....all the big boys...playing in CR..."

WCW had set up camp in Cedar before, some 3 years prior, for Clash of the Champions XXVIII. Eric Bischoff was impressed by the charming yet industrious burg, childhood home of acting superstar Elijah Wood, birthplace of award winning newspaper the Cedar Rapids Gazette. Bischoff was more than game to return to a place with ample walking trails, diverse dining, and a charmingly open culture. He would bring his biggest stars - Scott Hall, Hugh Morrus, Scott Steiner - back to this jewel of the midwest, and home of Iowa's African American Museum.

On the afternoon of January 25, 1997, Eric Bischoff and Lee Clancey would get exactly what they want:


To give a big old Iowa FUCK YOU to Dubuque Second Ward Representative Roy D. Buol.


Roy D. Buol's winter was about to get alllllll kinds of torn up. And right after he had the best Autumn of his life.

To Be Continued.....


*Iowans celebrate 5 seasons throughout their calendar year, listed officially as Winter, Spring, Summer (called "Shorts Season" under mayor Serbousek's disastrous 1992-'95 mayoral reign), Autumn (also Brown Leaves Days) and lastly The Scent of Iowans Own Smug Self-Righteousness