Segunda Caida

Phil Schneider, Eric Ritz, Matt D and occasional guests write about pro wrestling. Follow us @segundacaida

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 4: Cero Miedo

ER: They're doing a pretty decent job at building to the eventual Ivelisse/Catrina throwdown. I'm not sure if they're going to play it for comedy by having Catrina lose her wig, or play it like some sort of noir Bound scenario. Probably the latter.

1. Angelico, Ivelisse & Son of Havoc vs. Chavo Guererro, Mr. Cisco & Cortez Castro

ER: Ehhhh this wasn't much. It wasn't bad, but some of these guys have a decent ceiling w/ a low floor, so you can expect some lows occasionally. I forgot how much I missed Cisco on TV, the guy is a real MVP in these type of matches. He feeds Angelico really nicely (really jammed right into that running knee) and even with some miscommunication on an armdrag he makes it look more like a violent move than a mistake. I liked Chavo and Ivelisse going after the others' legs to play up their Season 1 injuries, and this doesn't have much to do with anything but Ivelisse had awesome pants on. Havoc had a rough night, throwing some embarrassing standing clotheslines (I think that's what those were) and some stuff with pillowy soft landings.  The dive train was a real mess with Angelico coming far closer to plowing into the dad in cargo shorts than he was to hitting Castro, Havoc's moonsault barely grazed, and this kinda just limped to the finish.

PAS: Yeah this was OK, but these teams had way better matches last season with Bael in there instead of Chavo, and Chavo is a lot better then Bael. Yeah this was the worst Son of Havoc has looked, I am shocked how much I have enjoyed Matt Cross in this fed, but this was the Matt Cross I have been indifferent to for the last decade.

ER: Boy that Joey Ryan/Castro "act off" was just about the least convincing thing possible. These guys showing off their acting chops is brutal. "I've always been a better cop than you...because I get the job DONE." Yeeeeeesh. Picture that line in a Treat Williams CBS docudrama. It's possible James Caan could make that line cool, but even then I imagine the cameras would cut and Caan would immediately yell "What is this fucking SCRIPT!?"

PAS: Yeah if you're going to do this stupid cop shit, hire someone who can write some lines, it's LA every guy working at the Sprint store has a NCIS New Orleans spec script, you can't find anyone who can at least script B- cop speak?

2. Joey Ryan vs. Cage

ER: Striker says Cage isn't like one of those Crossfit guys, he's just a normal guy. Yep, looks like any ol' normal guy. Just a regular Joe. Though Vampiro calls him 320 lb. which is just as hilarious. The match is plenty of fun though, even if they don't really follow their own narratives. Cage was especially fun, throwing big lariats with nice follow through, a tight powerslam, big missed corner charge, and putting a nice exclamation point on things with a nasty Screwdriver. "If it's a scoring thing, Joey has more nearfalls in this match than Cage does." Oh my god shut up Striker. But I thought Cage looked really explosive throughout, so it was (mostly) easy to tune Striker out.

PAS: Joey Ryan is who we thought he was. I am not sure Cage v. Mundo is going to be any good but both guys have surprised me so far in this show.

ER: It's fitting that this show is on El Rey, as Dario's backstory is basically the plot of Q: The Winged Serpent, except pro wrestling fleshes out the non-Aztec lore instead of Michael Moriarty as Jimmy the screw up. If this fed ever approaches a scene as great as Moriarty negotiating with cops over Quetzalcoatl's whereabouts and capture, then I will be on cloud nine.

PAS: Poor Rey. Stuck spouting this nonsense. Rey is an all time legend in wrestling, this is like watching Al Pacino in Jack and Jill.

3. Prince Puma vs. Pentagon Jr.

ER: Killer stuff with a bad finish that was already played out in the 90s, that the fans saw coming a mile away. These two work great together so the match itself was wonderful. Pentagon got a nice long non-gimmick match and beat Puma's ass, and I loved Puma using his speed to keep slipping away. Puma moonsaulting into a Pentagon dropkick was just crazy, Pentagon's chops were nasty as hell, Puma hits a big dive, loved the Pentagon corner flip backstabber, I mean basically everything these guys did looked great. I was really into it all. Then Pentagon plants him with that nasty package piledriver, and starts setting up a surfboard instead of going for the sure win. You can hear fans start to go noooooooooo as we all saw shenanigans coming, and sure enough, instead of just stretching him all nasty like, he goes for a stupid pin which leaves his shoulders down. This was maybe the loudest groan I've ever heard from the LU crowd, as right when the 3 was counted most people knew exactly what had happened, because again, that shit was played out 20 years ago. I know popular culture can recycle itself and seem fresh again, but "innovative wrestling finishes" don't ever seem fresh again. A real fart noise to end a cool match.

PAS: This was pretty good up until the end, but it felt a little inconsequential for such a big match. They normally do a good job delivering on big matches in a way that lives up to hype, this felt like a Nitro main event. For the first time ever Hulk Hogan v. Bret Hart, three minutes later the NWO Wolfpack runs in. That finish is stinky, since when is that even a Pentagon Jr. move? It would have worked way better if he had just going for the arm break and had Puma roll him up.

ER: Just when you thought Sexy Star couldn't possibly screw up anything worse than she already has, she delivers two of the worst possible reads you will ever hear. She had about 5 words to attempt to not mangle, and brother, she mangled every single part of it. Not HEEEM....HERRRRRRRR, complete with shaky finger point. Was this a one and done take? What could the other takes have possibly looked like? Did Sexy Star win a sweepstakes? Is she like Batkid, and the whole fed is just banding together to give her the experience of a lifetime?

PAS: Remember when the vignettes were cool? Outside of Vampiro in the insane asylum, everything this season has stunk. Another below average episode. Come on LU give me some love.


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