Fire Fundraiser: WCW Saturday Night Weirdness, Part I

"I'm looking for the oddest matches or occurrences...matches that make you say "only on Saturday night"." So said friend and donor Sean, when requesting what wrestling he would like to see written about. So I set about on a search for WCW syndicated weirdness. I specifically focused on 1998-2000 as by that point the show was able to operate completely under the radar from all the people who were busy with Nitro and the general circus. It was in a total vacuum and it wouldn't be stunning if you found out over half the office never actually watched this era of WCWSN. With that in mind, I think that era had more weird potential. So here are several of my favorite weird, only in WCW syndicated TV moments:

~Prophetic Canadian Murderer, 2/7/98: The main event was Benoit vs. Raven, and Benoit starts off with some mic work (yeesh) and drops the line "Now obviously, the book on my life has yet to be written." And how! If it HAD been written you would now probably have to reprint a new edition with AT MINIMUM an updated prologue.

~Everybody Gets a Trophy Day, 2/14/98: This episode was fascinating and weird because El Dandy AND The Villanos each got pinfall wins in separate matches. Think of how many Villano wins you can picture in a WCW ring? Try and imagine what the Villanos finisher was. Until this episode I couldn't do either. And they didn't even beat other Mexicans! They got to beat good ol' Mean Mike and Tough Tom clean in the middle. Their finisher was like Road Warriors' Doomsday Device, but instead of getting clotheslined off of their shoulders, Mean Mike got hit with a Villano IV crossbody off the top while perched on V5's shoulders. Miracle. And then later in the episode El Dandy got to level Super Calo with a punch and then pin him with the Dandy Roll. It was Dandy and Silver King vs. Juvy and Calo, which immediately made me assume Juvy was going to be pinning Dandy. But somehow El Dandy was the winner. Dandy! Dandy was winner! This episode also featured a Sick Boy vs. Renegade match which I genuinely loved. I cannot think of one other match from either Sick Boy or Renegade that I even passively enjoy. So this episode was chock full o' weird.

~Scott Hall's Celebrity Roast, 10/17/98: I titled it that, because this whole segment Scott Hall came off like a wasted out of his mind Dean Martin on one of his old celebrity roasts. This was a handicap match of Scott Hall vs. Disorderly Conduct. Hall comes stumbling out and just looks dangerously drunk, grabs a microphone and starts rambling and telling a bunch of inside jokes about Kevin Nash, then saying he's giving Nash the night off because he - pointing to Disorderly Conduct - "can beat these two JAY-brones (that's how he pronounced it!!) by himself". Then Hall takes his toothpick out of his mouth, flicks it at the camera, misses the camera, drunkenly shrugs...then pulls out A SECOND TOOTHPICK to flick at the camera. That's incredible. But what's shocking is Hall proceeds to work a totally normal handicap match, with D.O. taking most of the match by constantly cheating and double teaming Hall. Hall had a couple fiery babyface comebacks and threw some nice rights, but D.O. would go back to controlling. You've never seen so many Disorderly Conduct control segments. After awhile though, and without building to any finish, Hall clearly and loudly signals that he just wants the match to end and then hits an Outsiders Edge to win.

~Mr. World Class, 1/16/99: Lost in the syndicated late 90s was a brief feud between Chris Adams and Chip Minton over who should have the rights to call themselves "World Class". Chris Adams had been using the nickname World Class for some time, as well as Gentleman (which really is the best), but Minton started using the name Mr. World Class when he debuted in USWA a few years prior. Minton was a legit two time Olympian, as the pusher on the US 4 man bobsled. This was truly something that could only be settled in the ring! It was a weird two week feud and THIS was the blowoff! And then the match was just painful if your name was Chip Minton, because Minton got steamrolled by Adams. Adams came out wearing a gi, and then proceeded to do a bunch of shoot looking stuff with Minton getting next to no offense. Adams would regularly take him down with single legs, do dickhead stuff like stomp on Minton's calves, really hammered him with elbows, hit one of his meanest superkicks (and think of the ground that covers) before locking Minton into a gross submission for the win. Adams was choking Minton with his legs and then grabbed his arm to start hyperextending it. Minton did not look along for the ride. Minton had lost the battle. HOWEVER, two years later Chris Adams DIED. Who won that war? AND to my knowledge Minton was never even questioned. It is telling that NOBODY else has challenged Minton for the title of Mr. World Class. Makes you think.

~Barry Windham's Nut Stranglers, 6/26/99: This was during the West Texas Rednecks period for Windham, and for whatever reason Barry just could not get any good look going. Not redneck chic, not cowboy, not even a simple trunks/vest/cowboy hat. Instead, here, he decided to sport cowboy boots, a gigantic knee brace, a way too undersized wife beater, gardening gloves....and the most impossibly short, unbearably tight cut off jean shorts you have ever seen. He looked ridiculous. He looked like a man who lost a bet, and the person he lost to just kept coming up with punishments off the top of his head. But damn those shorts were the worst. Those shorts haunt me. Those shorts will just stare at you with a feral look, like Angela at the end of Sleepaway Camp. These shorts were just so tight, and the denim so uncomfortable looking, that every single time Windham moved I expected one of his testicle to rupture. It was terrible.


We'll be back with Part II of this WCW Weirdness series tomorrow. Thanks again to Sean for donating and requesting this delightful madness.