Because Why Not - Halloween Havoc Chamber of Horrors Match

So it's Halloween, and I've never seen the WCW Chamber of Horrors match. This feels like the only appropriate time to watch and write about this match. And I'm doing it live-as-it-happens style because that also feels appropriate while watching something like this.

As the show starts, Bischoff is in the parking lot interviewing wrestlers and Cactus Jack and Abby pull up, and Abdullah is wearing slacks and a shorts sleeve dress shirt with a necktie...while also holding a staff/shrunken head combo. His eyeglasses were folded up in his shirt pocket. He looked liked he was going as Milton from Office Space for Halloween.

Chamber of Horrors: El Gigante, Steiner Brothers & Sting vs. Big Van Vader, Diamond Studd, Cactus Jack & Abdullah the Butcher, WCW Halloween Havoc 10/27/91

Jack comes out with a chainsaw, no doubt to slice some poor dudes UP! Match starts and Abby bumps on the ramp for Sting, Gigante and Vader have an engaging brawl with Gigante throwing those ineptly stiff shots, and some rando in a black mask jumping out of a casket. Scott Steiner hits a massive tiger drive on Studd. HOLY SHIT Jack is on Scottie's shoulders and takes a fucking DDT with Rick jumping off the top! And then the electric chair lowers and Jack sells momentarily like he's gonna be crushed by the lowering cage. Vader just took his second bump to the floor. Jack awesomely catches a wooden coffin lid with his head. A bunch of enhancement talent all in white clothes and white facepaint and many with fluffy 1991 mullets come out and lurk on the rampway. Abdullah starts climbing the cage for no reason and Cactus hits a mean blade job and is gushing some dark red blood! Vader throws two stiff punches right into Gigante's face and Jack starts climbing the cage with Sting chasing, leading me to expect a Jack trademark stupid bump into somewhere, but he just climbs back down. A moment later Sting throws him out of the ring and Jack DOES take a wild high speed flipping bump over the top and into the cage. The camera misses much of it. Where was the REFER-EYE CAM!?!?

The HD is really making everybody seem ultra freckle-y. Vader, Abby, Gigante and Rick Steiner all have super freckled backs. Never noticed that. Thanks technology. That rando in the black mask is just chained to the cage at ringside. Everybody just kind of ignores him, even the announcers. Schiavone makes an astute observation that the best strategy for the match would be to stay away from the electric chair. That adds up. But soon after Rick Steiner hits a sort of belly to belly placing Abby into the chair, locks the arm restraints and for some reason Jack pulls the lever. Then a bunch of fireworks go off while Abby gyrates and most people just kind of leave while Abdullah is just sitting in the chair with his eyes closed. Then Abdullah bursts out of the chair, kicks a ring crew guy in the head, then bowling balls his way through most of the guys in white. Then we cut back to Ross and Schiavone while in the background we see the all the guys in white just get up, dust themselves up and walk to the back, out of our lives, out of our hearts.

So, I actually loved the first few minutes of this. Guys were taking some stupid bumps, getting busted open, throwing stiff shots, the kind of stuff you'd want in this type of match. But then I think people got sleepy or something because there was just a bunch of wandering around without any violence. And then it ended, as we all will someday.