Ring of Honor on Destination America 8/5/15 Review

1. War Machine vs. Young Bucks

Still have not seen a War Machine match I like, seems like they're kinda fake burly asskickers, in the same way Silas Young is a fake asskicker. They look the part, but then I get all excited to see them leveling dudes and it just never really happens. All of their offense makes a lot of noise and crashing mat sounds, but it's just because their big bodies crash into the mat while the contact on the opponent is minimal. The more shocking development is that I definitely like the Young Bucks. They're more entertaining on shows where the crowd is not filled with fans who are "super smart" and cheering all their wink wink heel antics because they're "in on it". I would love to see them run their schtick in the deep south on some no name indy show. THOSE fans will be driven up the walls. Them working heel in Memphis as little John Tatums would be wonderful. We got an injury angle during the middle of this when Nick hit a flip dive and came up limping. So Matt is FIP for awhile (wait I thought they were the working heels in this one....) and eventually AJ Styles replaces him because I guess that's a thing? Rowe throws an okay overhand right but man I'm just wanting meaner offense from these two. Hanson will throw a nice elbow drop, but then more of that offense that sees 95% of his body crashing into the mat while a limb kinda grazes a Buck. Rowe even bodyslams Hanson onto Matt at one point, but pretty much just slams him past him so Hanson's shoulder grazes Matt. It looked like Rowe was just slamming Hanson and Matt happened to get in the way a little bit. Corino is really horrible throughout this. His enthusiasm comes off so phony. Bucks use the superkick in good spots here, especially early in the match where Nick nailed one on the apron before then kicking Hanson in the face. So yeah. Liked the Bucks here, War Machine are losing me, and the match was way too overbooked for what it was. And RDRR Nick's ankle injury was alllllll a ruse. So...the master plan was for Matt to take a 2-on-1 beating for several minutes? Wow, Kewl plan guyz.

2. Cedric Alexander vs. Romantic Touch

I had never seen Romantic Touch before, and once he threw a bad punch I put 2 and 2 together and immediately guessed it was Rhett Titus under a mask. I'm assuming that's common knowledge. Cedric has a bunch of intricate thigh slap offense. Titus shoves a fan and takes Cedric's stupid sitout-powerbomb-on-own-knees nicely. But I could not see Titus again and be happy. And Cedric is one of those dime a dozen chest out/butt out indy workers who all seem to have the exact same offense. I have a pain in my foot right now.

3. Adam Cole vs. Kyle O'Reilly

Rachel walked through the room and heard O'Reilly's name and thought it was a play on the band Rilo Kiley. I laughed. I mean, that doesn't make much sense to make a pun out of, but Rhett Titus as a masked guy still wrestling like Rhett Titus doesn't make much sense either so fuck it. Kylo Riley it is.  We get about 3 minutes of Riley holding a limp headlock while the fans jackoff to chants of "Headlock City" (Headlock City: You Might Not Even Notice You're Here!), then Christopher Daniels gets involved, throws a horrible double clothesline, Riley throws some of the worst brawling punches you've seen (unless he was aiming for a spot 6" behind Daniels' head, wherein his aim would be spot on). And this sets up a tag match.

4. The Addiction vs. Adam Cole & Kyle O'Reilly

Corino keeps calling the Addiction "The World Tag Team Champions of the World" and it doesn't sound like he's doing it to be funny...he just thinks that's what it's supposed to be. This was too short to be much of anything, and had an awkwardly placed commercial break to boot. Adam Cole's brainbuster to his knee is just impossibly stupid. In what world is that more dangerous than just giving a guy a normal brainbuster? This was 4 minutes of technically proficient, mechanically cold and overly rehearsed wrestling. And then Chris Sabin came back at the end which I can't even imagine hardcore ROH fans being very excited about.


Man I am losing some steam on this show. About a month before I started watching I heard from trusted people that this had really turned into a great weekly show, but I think I've enjoyed one? maybe two? episodes since they've been airing on DA. It's some combination of them featuring guys I don't care about, with underperformances from the guys I do like. We'll see, I suppose.