Pro Wrestling Revolution Workrate Report 5/9/15

1. Fuerza Guerrera vs. Super Crazy vs. El Mariachi vs. Rocky Romero

This was the main event of the 2/28/15 show in San Francisco. This show was hyped and advertised around a main event of Super Crazy vs. Juventud Guerrera but to the shock of not one person who follows lucha libre at all, Juvy did not show up and instead sent his father in his place. Now if I had gone to this show I personally would have been way more excited, as seeing Fuerza in a high school gym sounds way more interesting than whatever underactive performance Juvy likely would have put on. I've already seen Juvy in this fed and the most amusing thing was seeing what he could do without actually having to bump. If I'm going to see somebody work Buddy Landell no kneepads style, I'd choose Fuerza over the Juice. Of course, Fuerza vs. Crazy sounds INFINITELY more interesting than what we're getting here: Not only a 4 way, but with the two additions being these two duds. Talk about being elated when Fuerza comes out, to that major kick in the dick when Romero comes out. We'll see.

Annnnnnnd this match was pretty much a total mess. Everybody but Mariachi works rudo, which falls flat when they're all working each other. Crowd was noticeably less heated than normal. Oh, but Mariachi comes back at the end of the match after his elimination to do a heel turn. So that solves that? Fuerza is the first man eliminated, so when the most interesting person in a match is gone halfway through that will never help things. Romero tries to work stooging comedy heel which - believe it or not - may actually be his worst hat. I know it's hard fathoming just what Rocky Romero is worst at, but working stooge comedy when you have zero presence or charisma is just tragic. Romero excels at being bad, but there's an additional layer of badness because he seems to have no idea WHY something he's doing might not work. I have seen Mariachi several times now and he's just not good. He goes through the motions of lucha, but really just doesn't have any substance of any kind to his stuff. His execution isn't good, he routinely blows up midway through every match I've seen him in, he has no idea how to work tecnico or rudo, and he's sluggish even early in matches, his headscissors and armdrags are sloppy and implausible...he's just not good. The promotion routinely pushes him as one of their four top stars, but even they have no idea what to do with him as sometimes he's a rudo, sometimes he's a tecnico, rarely is he over. They gave him a female valet for awhile, had him giving out sombreros, any desperate trick. It hasn't worked.

So we get this elimination match, with three rudos and a poor tecnico who eventually turns, no real focus, no real plan. Fuerza is 60 years old, but did more than you possibly could have hoped for. He still throws a mean right hand and in this match he threw a couple dozen of them; seeing him wander around throwing those rights was easily the best part of the match. For his part, at least Romero did a couple decent spit takes after taking Fuerza's punches. Fuerza didn't really bump much, but damn the dude is 60. Who needs to bump at 60? My dad is 60 and hates walking more than a couple blocks. So really watching Fuerza punch Romero a bunch and kick him in the balls was worth the price of admission. Crazy tried some things here, some of it looked really good (real nice big tumbling bump to the floor, awesome tornillo elbow drop) and some of it didn't like his tarantula that took ages to apply. We've gone over Mariachi and how he's just not good, and Romero worked as expected. He threw one of the worst elbow drops I've seen. Once Fuerza got eliminated halfway through we then went into awkward 3 way dance mode and really Crazy can probably be held accountable more than most for my eyes still having to see fucking 3 way dances in 2015. Mariachi is next out and then in a completely nonsensical move comes back later to cost Romero the pinfall even though Romero was no more responsible for Mariachi's elimination than anybody else, and Mariachi had mostly paired off with Crazy. Just a limp dick finish to a match that had already gotten pretty brutal once Fuerza vamoosed.