My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Saturday Night 7/31/99

Only an hour for this week's episode, which is lame, but this episode took place almost exactly 12 YEARS AGO!

What were YOU doing 12 years ago!? I was mere months away from starting college, and I'm pretty sure this weekend 12 years ago I was actually at my future college doing a Summer Orientation weekend, staying in the dorms and having to attend lectures and gay skits put on by the drama club about shit like temperance and bullying and how it's cool to make friends and be different, and how it's insensitive and hurtful to say that things are gay. All 500 or so Orientation attendees were in Sonoma State University's big Pearson Theatre, and all the lights went out and it was pitch black...and then "Total Eclipse of the Heart" started playing REALLY loudly. One lone spotlight shone on the stage. A member of the SSU dance club was in a black leotard, and she did an interpretive dance to "Total Eclipse of the Heart", just flinging herself around the stage while the spotlight struggled to keep up.

That was the longest 6 minutes of my life.

It was the most uncomfortable and awkward I had ever been. I would rather watch my dad cry for 6 minutes, with our foreheads touching.

It was just me and 499 other future college students sitting in the dark, getting a little bit tired of listening to the sound of our tears. And I still ended up going to this school.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Jerry Flynn/Hugh Morrus

This was a real nice 4 minutes. This was right after the First Family had injured Finlay (when none of us expected Finlay to ever wrestle ever again, let alone return 6 years later to take back his title of best wrestler in the world), so I expected Regal and Taylor to be out for blood and do a violent run-in, possibly allowing DC to get a sneaky win. But it didn't happen. I think I've determined that Tough Tom is the better DC member...but every match I always forget which one is Tough Tom. They're always changing their hair slightly or changing facial hair. Though the guy that threw a great punch in this match had "Tuff" on his pants. DC get a nice long control section against Flynn and cut off the ring, which is more than I was expecting. Barbarian cheats from the floor (while holding the hardcore junkyard trophy!) though and Morrus splats one of them with the No Laughing Matter. And then Flynn locks on the worst looking armbar ever for the win.

Mike Enos vs. Van Hammer

This was alllll Enos for the first 2 minutes and he worked nice and stiff against Hammer (including just leveling VH with a shoulderblock), but then VH just cuts to his finishing run out of nowhere and looks bored doing it. Enos tried to make Hammer's offense look good, but VH didn't really care if it did or not.

Al Green vs. Curt Hennig

This was not great, and Hennig just looked sluggish and off in it. Green took a nice bump off a hotshot, and this just wasn't much. Hennig stumbled twice just trying to do the Perfect Plex. Crowd was into all the Rednecks, though, who were all grinning at ringside.

Kendall Windham/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Misterio Jr./B.A.

Main event tag was an awesome 6 minutes. Kendall is the fucking greatest. His left hand seriously might be my favorite thing in recent wrestling that I've watched. Duncum has also aged really well in rewatch (his wrestling ability, not his "being alive" skills). He bumps really big and moves around with good purpose in the ring. Kendall and Duncum really bump around nicely for Rey, taking his offense in a way that does not look ridiculous (the way 6'6" dudes flying around for a 5'3" dude should look ridiculous). Eventually Barry and Hennig come in and beat Rey/B.A. down (Barry with the cowbell shot!) and then Swoll, Chase Tatum, and 4x4 (in his spaghetti strap camo tank top!!! I swear 4x4 is one of the most physically absurd guys I have ever seen. He's like 5'10" but 400 lbs., all in the arms and chest, and he always wears that damn tank top that looks like a tube top) chug down to the ring and the Rednecks bail. Awesome while it lasted. Kendall was seriously so damn good in '99, really carried himself like a total smug badass. Kendall, I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be, but you'll always be the boy who wanted me the way that I am.