APW TV Workrate Report: 3/26/11

Some camera guy is waiting outside Dylan Drake's house to ask him questions about his upcoming match against Corvus. You know, this was pretty smartly done. They had him coming out of a nice suburban house and driving off in a nice car, wearing a fashionable black shirt and nice sunglasses, using his nice rolling suitcase to tote his gear. It made him look like a big deal. They tend to make some guys look like chumps by putting them in situations that seem bush league, so it was nice to see somebody looking like they had some modicum of success in their life. Usually they have guys cutting promos in a broom closet or something.

Derek Sanders is out with his awful protege Will Rood. At least Rood's clothes fit better this week. Usually he's wearing baggy pleated slacks and a oversized button-up shirt that is always untucked. Really sloppy. Looks like a high school dropout going on a job hunt and trying to dress up. Today he's wearing black pants that fit and a nice purple v-neck sweater. Simple, but put together. He's improving.

1. Derek Sanders vs. Daniel Torch starts us off and APW really needed another guy who's name starts with "D". People hate on WWE for changing dudes' names to goofy shit, but APW has like 20 guys in the fed and 25% of them are Ds. Daniel, Derek, Dave, Dylan. Even the announcers get tripped up and call him Dylan Sanders. Torch is a REALLY scrawny guy billed as 150 lb., but that looks like a real stretch. Sanders bum rushes him and elbows the life out of him, then locks on a nice chickenwing cravate. Torch takes a giant backdrop bump and tucks really late, making it look super dangerous. He fights back with feeble little slaps to Sanders' chest, and then gets LEVELED with a shoulderblock "and bumps it in a neat and flippy. Sanders is really working stiff in this one, throwing nice back elbows and big clubbering blows. Torch has a really indie moveset, but it works for him and I like his big comeback (Miz/Bourne corner clothesline with a NICE follow-up high kick to Sanders head, then a big springboard leg drop). Sanders is too much though, and levels him with a type of DVD. This was my first time seeing Torch and I dug him, took a good beating and Sanders is always rock solid. He looked even better than usual here since he worked more snug than usual. Good short match.

Afterwards Sanders berates Rood for costing him the title a week or two ago, and Rood says it wasn't his fault and Sanders couldn't win his match on his own. Sanders makes THE SAME POINT I ALWAYS MAKE ABOUT THIS ANGLE, by telling Rood, "Who gave you a job when you were broke, when your woman was leaving you? It was me! I wrote out those checks! I gave you the chance!" Rood is so dry and bland on the mic, completely has no answer for that as it makes way too much sense. Crowd turns it awkwardly racist by chanting "He's no slave" and Sanders turns their awesome chants against them. They start chanting "Kick his ass" and Sanders is hilarious going "Yeah, you know what? You guys are right, I really should kick his ass." I mean, he's right. How is Sanders AT ALL the bad guy here? Rood's "months in the waiting" crowning moment finally happens as he punches Sanders and then whiffs on a shitty dropkick. Sanders is fucking AWESOME though as instead of selling the shitty dropkick he completely ignores it and just beats the shit out of Rood, then bails to the back when Rood starts to come back, then comes back out and beats him some more! I really really want Sanders to just kick the shit out of this guy. He gave him a chance, helped him when he was broke, and for what? Rood is indignant and just practically begs to have his ass beat. I want it. I'm with you, Sanders. I have never seen anything booked so backwards.

2. Main event is Dylan Drake vs. Corvus, and Corvus is a guy I like in tags, but have not seen too much long singles work. Drake is usually game, so this should be a good stage to see if Corvus is a good singles guy. Matthew Theall is really grating on commentary. He has a real frail, reedy voice that just doesn't work over a whole match. He talks too fast and it's like an obnoxious little hummingbird whipping around your head and doing a crappy Bobby the Brain impression. Jon Roberts has the opposite problem as it always seems like he's doing "announcer voice". Drake works the knee to wear him down for his finishing hold (The Bay to Breaker) and Corvus is fun working from the bottom and blocking Drake's feet. Drake does a long control section and Corvus eventually transitions to offense by dodging a big splash in the corner (that Drake had hit earlier) and then kicking him hard to the back. Darkness starts to win me over by choking Drake over the ropes and biting him. That's the first time I've seen her do anything but brood, and I like it. Blackwell is out now, too, so things are looking bad for Drake.

Blackwell and Darkness' goth looks need some work. Blackwell just kinda paints black lines on his face, which doesn't really happen in goth culture. He's already obese and pasty, they should have just had him wear a black trenchcoat. If they gave him any makeup it should have been acne makeup, not black lines on his cheeks. Darkness kinda of takes a "flowers in the attic" approach and acts like she's been locked away from society for a long time and doesn't have good social skills like talking or suspecting arsenic in donuts. She can't even wear a corset properly. Clearly has never seen a goth.

During Blackwell's interference, Mr. Wrestling IV runs in and does an awesome kneelift to Corvus behind the ref's back, and Drake gets the win. Solid but shorter than usual for an APW main event.