THE VAMPIRE DIARIES Pt 1: IWA Deep South Carnage Cup 9/26/09

I haven’t watched a death match tourney in a while, so when this showed up. I figured I would give it a chance

Sexxxy Eddie v. Drake Younger- Carpet Strips+ Barbed Wire Boards + Chair

Eddie is a Canadian death match worker (universal health care) who is best known for spraying a fountain of blood out of his arm at a TOD (my one live death match show), Younger is an American Kickboxer trainee and the current CZW champion as well as a ex TPI and TOD winner. Kind of a hit and miss match. Both guys took some big bumps, but their counter wrestling looked kind of shitty. Carpet strips probably really hurt, but they don’t look that impressive. Eddie is wrestling in a banana hammock with his cock semi erect, it is pretty damn uncomfortable to watch especially when he gets carpet tack strips smashed on his dick. Biggest bump was Eddie eating a suplex on a chair wrapped in barbed wire, smashing the top of the chair with his back, unfortunately that was really early in the match and nothing after it was as brutal looking.

Scotty Vortex v. Thumbtack Jack- Exorcist deathmatch

Vortex is another Kickboxer trainee and Jack is a creepy German guy best known for the repellent Saw death match in Germany and threatening to kill Ian Rottens children. The gimmick saw crosses made of lightubes, some wrapped in barbedwire, some with lit candles. I liked this match, the actual wrestling in it looked pretty good, with both guys working pretty stiff, including a Kikuchi style headbutt by Jack. Both guys took some crazy bumps, including Jack nestea plunging through a lightbulb tube cross with lit candles and Vortexx getting dropped knee first in an upside down ladder with tubes. Jack yelling things with his German accent really adds to the snuff film feel of his matches. They kicked out of too much for a first round match, and after all of the big bumps, the finish was some goofy JAPW style suplex on a knee. Overall solid stuff though

Christian Faith v. Danny Havok- X marks the spot

Faith is a Midwest guy I have enjoyed on Hybrid shows, while Havok is the CZW Ultraviolent champion and a staple of death match tourneys. This had its moments, it started out pretty cool with a knuckle lock, with Faith bringing Havok’s hands down to the floor and stomping them into lightubes. Parts of this got a little sloppy though with Faith attempting to add a light tube into his signature offense and only pulling it off about half the time. I did like that the biggest bump ended it (DVD from the top onto a ladder and tubes).

Freakshow v. Insane Lane v. Nick Gage- Home Run Derby

Freakshow and Insane Lane are southern deathmatch workers, Freakshow looks almost exactly like a white Monsta Mack, Nick Gage is a CZW mainstay who looks like he has downs syndrome. This was basically three fat guys wandering around hitting each other with stuff and bleeding. Most of the punches, kicks and wrestling moves attempted looked pretty awful and Gage and Freakshow blow the finish badly. There was a bunch of blood though, so that is something. All three of these guys were replacements, and it felt like a match between some guys you can get to bleed on short notice.

Shaun Tempers v. Jacob Ashworth

This is a non-tourney match. Tempers is a NWA-Anarchy guy and comes to the ring with the awesome Rev. Dan Wilson who had been doing a great job on commentary. I have no idea who Ashworth is, and neither do the announcers. Semi competitive squash, with Tempers kind of laying a beating on this guy. Match didn’t seem to have much of a point, although I wouldn’t mind seeing more of Tempers.

Sexxxy Eddie v. Danny Havok- Barefoot Thumbtacks and Tapai Deathmatch

Not really a gimmick which allows for much wrestling, as it was mostly Jackass style mutilation. They did have some clever ways to drive tacks into each others body, I especially like Eddy throwing Havok feet first off the top rope onto the tacks. I would have liked to see what these guys could have done with a less restrictive gimmick.

Nick Gage v. Thumbtack Jack- Cinder Blocks and Barbed wire

The one positive thing to say about Gage in this tournament is that he gets heel heat, which breaks up the genial camaraderie of most of these matches. All the hugs and respect knuckles really takes you out of the violence. I liked the beginning a bunch with Jack diving on Gage while he was distracted by jaw jacking with meth heads. Finish was super nasty too with Gage eating sort of a Michinkou driver on a cinder block which drove the small of his back into the side of the block and left both guys entwined in barbed wire. Middle part wasn’t much and Jack driving syringes into Gages head was both gross and really stupid.

Mike Levy v. Maniac Mike

Levy is best known for getting hit with a barbed wire baseball bat by Ian Rottens little kid at the Queen of the death match, Maniac Mike appears to be a fellow backyarder. This was a shit show, I have no idea why you would run a death match tournament and then put on a non tournament match with untrained clowns trying crazier stuff then anyone else. They were using razor wire and a giant lightube cabin and taking awkard violent looking falls into it. A lot of this kind of death match stuff stretches the definition of wrestling, but this didn’t resemble it at all.

Chrisjen Hayme v. Slim J v. Vincent Nothing v. Chip Day

This was a four way for the IWA-DS title. I was surprised how much I enjoyed this random indy dudes four way. I haven’t seen Slim J in years, but he looked really great, totally quick and smooth with everything he did. Chip Day who is another Anarchy guy also looked pretty good, and I need to see if they have any singles matches against each other. Nothing and Hayme were a little more ragged, but they hit each other hard, and I liked some of the things both guys did.

Sexxxy Eddie v. Thumbtack Jack- Fishooks, lightbulbs, other stuff

Pretty good final, the second best death match of the night. This had a little too much piercing and poking for my taste, as that stuff doesn’t really do much for me. The wooden needles seems especially dumb, the announcers telling us that Thumbtack Jack works as an acupuncturist as he puts the needles in Eddie’s head really damaged the gimmick, is it supposed to hurt or is he curing his lower back pain? These guys were working pretty damn stiff, and Eddie brings back his Kikuchi head butt which is a cool spot in this. I want a death match to feel like guys are trying to kill each other, rather then “putting a show all you great people out there”, and while this did have the hugs afterwards, during the match it felt like a fight. Finish was a sidewalk slam through a lightube table, and that felt like a finish.

Overall it was an okay show. I really prefer something like Sami Callihan v. Danny Havok from CZW, where the death match seems to have a purpose, rather then this kind of Mickey Rooneyish “Let’s put on a show” tourney stuff. For that subset though it was pretty good, with only one tournament stinker. Wouldn’t mind seeing more of Thumbtack Jack.