Fab Five WWE Matches of the Week 10/19-10/25

Randy Orton v. John Cena Bragging Rights 10/25

Because their previous series of PPV matches have ranged from pretty bad to pretty good, I wasn't really expecting their hour match to be their best. I am at a point in my wrestling fandom where I would rather watch a 12 minute match then a 60 minute match, and I just didn't think that those two guys could fill the time. The WWE however can still put together a main event match with enough bells and whistle to fill an hour, and this felt like career level performances from both guys. Cena is really great at using his power in impressive ways, there were a bunch of little moments like that, ripping Ortons hands apart on a waist lock, dead lifting him from the floor into a fireman's carry, even the way Cena lifts the stairs, he looks like a powerlifter hoisting a world record lift. For a guy who gets booed a bunch Cena has some off the charts babyface charisma, listen to the crowd right before the FU through the table, it was like the entire crowd forgot they were supposed to boo him. Orton gets a bit hammy again, but it didn't hurt the match nearly as much as it hurt the Hell in Cell, and he otherwise was pretty great. I love how he dissects a guy, the way he pauses before moves really makes them look violent. I also love how loose he makes his body on big bumps, he had a real rag doll feel when he went through the barricade. Great finish run, both guys were in the middle of the ring exchanging punches like Lawler and Dundee, and the final STF was super twisty and nasty looking. Outside of some minor quibbles (really think they should have saved the top rope FU for later in the match, shouldn't have done the bump through the lighting grid and the attempted explosion, either one would have worked, both seemed stupid) this was about as good a match as these two had in them.

Rey Mysterio v. CM Punk v. Batista v. Undertaker Bragging Rights 10/25

Fun match with all of the stars hitting their stuff. Punk was awesome in a match that really wasn't about him. Cheap shotting folks, pussying out of fights, trying to steal pins. Just a total dick. Of course the match was a bit of backround noise for Batista's heel turn which was pretty great. I liked the teases in the match, Batista came off like Nick Stahl in Bully, he would throw Rey around while whining about how they were supposed to be friends. I almost expected for Rey to turn on him instead. I also totally buy that a guy with arms that big might be susceptible to bouts of irrational rage. Also what is going on with Rey? He seems like such an amiable guy, but this is the second time his best friend has violently and brutally turned on him. I know it looks like Eddie and Batista are the bad guys, but you have to look at Rey here too. It is like the Shaq and Kobe breakup, everyone sided with Shaq, because he is funny and Kobe is a rapist who has the emotional disconnect of a sociopath. However if you look at it, Shaq couldn't get along with Penny in Orlando, Wade in Miami and Phoenix dumped him for parts and Steve Nash ended up suing him for stealing Nash's reality show idea. My argument is that like Shaq, Rey must be a secret asshole, who drives his friends to violent rages.

Undertaker v. CM Punk Smackdown 10/20

These two haven't had the great match I was kind of hoping for. This might have been the closest, all the work was good. Punk was his weasily best, and Undertaker looked more mobile then in their other matches, taking some big bumps. His missed big boot into the ropes was pretty great (although hurt a bit by Knox taking a similar even nastier bump earlier in the show), as was the armdrag counter off the ropes. I also really liked their back and forth punch exchange. The finish was pretty cool Undertakers reversal into the gogoplata was damn slick, I am shocked at how much better he has gotten at applying that move. All of the mishigas with Scott Armstrong and Teddy Long hurt the match a bit though, although not as much as in the Montreal match. I am not sure where either guy goes from here, although I do think Punk should be the one to take the title off Undertaker.

Vladimir Koslov/Ezekial Jackson v. Tommy Dreamer/Goldust Superstars 10/20

Last weeks awesome Jackson v. Goldust match seemed to be a huge Dustin carry job, but after watching this match, I think Jackson maybe getting really good. Most of the match was Jackson working over Dreamer, and he has some super nasty looking offense, I especially loved his Vader splash in the corner and body shots. He is pretty damn great at coming off like a beast, and does the really great Henry and Vader job of selling while still looking unbeatable. Dreamer took a nice beating in this, and Goldusts hot tag was super. Seems kind of weird to have Jackson and Koslov lose clean at this point, although the way they did it made it seem like wily veterans pulling out a flash win.

Team Smackdown v. Team RAW Bragging Rights 10/25

It is pretty hard to fuck up big tags like this, by the time a wrestler gets into the WWE he will have enough stuff to fill a two minute role in a multi man tag like this, and everyone performed well. Even with my long stated aversion to DX, I did enjoy watching Finlay work with Michaels, it was like Segunda Caida vs. Rest of the Internet. Helmsley doing his patented shitty hot tag where he runs in and starts irish whipping everyone was amusingly bad, although I did like the stack up spinebuster. The ending was pretty obvious but the KO punch on Helmsley was awesome.