Uprising: Lucha Libre Workrate Report 11/17/13

More matches from the 5/30/09 show from Milpitas. Milpitas is the land of endless strip malls and a seemingly constant ass smell thanks to a large landfill. You *gotta* brag about running a show in Milpitas, so I totally get unearthing every match from that card, no matter how old. I actually emailed the owner of PWR asking him why they are showing old matches and hardly any new matches, while not actively pushing upcoming live events or any sort of merchandise. I was very polite, saying that I was very interested in seeing the two recent Santo matches that took place and wondering if they would ever be shown. I got a response fairly quickly that just said "Glad you watch our show. We air our library, sorry you don't agree." You see, they have a library that they have to show off, outside of any sort of context. What if some Joey Ryan completists were watching local paid-for programming on a Saturday and happened to catch this match, presented without any sort of date or purpose? Made that kids night. More than anything, that response told me that they don't actually have any idea why they air what they air, and have given minimal thought into why they air it.

1. Joey Ryan & Rik Luxury vs. Golden Lion & Chimaera

Fun tag that threatened to be ruined by lousy editing (cut to commercial right when the hot tag happens, back from commercials and the rudos are in control with no explanation of what happened). Luxury is one of the best Bay Area workers  and is kinda like a more modern Arn Anderson. Works cool spots that should be used more (like raking eyes with boot eyelets) and can build heat. Not sure who Golden Lion is but he had some nice headscissors (including a real cool one where he got vaulted over someone's shoulders and then hit a rana). Chimaera is the WWE's Ricardo Rodriguez (though hilariously I don't think they ever brought that up. Gotta keep that kayfabe alive!) and I've never actually seen him in a serious wrestling setting. Dude looked good and took some nice bumps. This was some perfectly fine wrestling, bizarre editing aside.

2. Derek Sanders & Zack Reeb vs. Human Tornado & El Amante

Short decent match. Derek Sanders was in both 2013 PWR matches opposite Santo, but I guess it's probably a better idea to show a 5 yr. old match against two guys who haven't worked the promotion since 2010. That should make your fed seem like a bigger deal. They also regularly talk about Amante's normal tag partner Ulysses a lot during the match, who again hasn't worked the fed since 2010. Sanders looks pretty meh here, normally looks better. Here he leaned way out of spin kicks and stuttered on some bumps. For some reason they keep calling Human Tornado "El Snowflake" here, despite him just dressing and wrestling like Human Tornado. Makes sense. There were fun spots here if you turned your brain off. But good lord this show makes my brain hurt.

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Uprising Lucha Libre Workrate Report 11/3/13

Blue Demon Jr., Mascara Sagrada & Strongman Jon Andersen vs. La Migra (Oliver John, Derek Sanders & Zack Reeb)

Wow, I can see why they took the time to unearth this 4 year old match. What a pile. You know that Blue Demon Jr.'s side is going to go over, but there are plenty of interesting ways to get to your destination. This was not one of them. The tecnicos get - I kid you not - 98% of the offense. The only offense that La Migra got would be when one of them was in a submission, and one of the others would come in a break up the submission. That was it! Oliver John got a couple chops in on Demon, also hit that Jeff Jarrett move where your opponent is draped over the ropes and you run at him and end up draping your leg over him.

The match was almost 16 minutes long! That is so much time to have an awesome match. But the tecnicos did not show ass for two seconds in this whole match. The first 7 minutes were spent with one of the tecnicos (Demon or Strongman, as Sagrada sat on the aprong until the final minute of the match) standing in the middle of the ring, then a member of La Migra would come in, get chopped by Demon, flat back bump and roll to the floor, then repeat with the next member. Strongman would get in the ring, a member of La Migra would come in, lock up with him, and Strongman would shove him down. Usually each guy got shoved down a couple times. This literally happened for the first 8 minutes of the match.

The rest of the match were members of La Migra getting put into submission holds, coming in to break up submission holds, and then getting put back into submission holds. It just would not end. Demon would slowly lock on a submission, it would get broken up, and then he'd just put on another submission. Eventually all three of them came in and awkwardly all got into position to be put into submissions by the tecnicos, including Sanders doing the hilarious "I'm gonna jump at you legs first like we're at a picnic and the wheelbarrow races are starting!" as Demon left him no good option of getting into position. Then the match mercifully ended with a clunky triple submission.

So I'm still dying to know, what the hell is the point of this show? They pay to air it, so they must have a goal in mind. They air mostly matches from 4+ years ago, featuring mostly wrestlers who no longer work for them. A lot of the matches they air aren't very good (with this one being arguably the worst one they've aired so far). They don't advertise upcoming live events. They don't try and sell merchandise. They don't even mention Pro Wrestling Revolution, their own brand name. For some reason they chose to re-brand their TV property as "Uprising", which doesn't make tons of sense in building their PWR brand. They just seem to exist to show old matches, but they PAY to show these old matches.

The best case scenario is that people find the show, and tune in the next week...but since they don't get advertising dollars this really doesn't benefit them at all. Please, anybody, tell me why you think this show exists?

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Uprising: Lucha Libre Workrate Report 10/27/13

Come journey back in time with me to 7/25/09, thanks to a promotion inexplicably willing to use paid programming to show 4+ year old matches at midnight on a local Spanish-speaking network.

1. Strongman Jon Andersen vs. Oliver John

It's kind of shocking how poorly edited this show is, as the bell for the match doesn't even hit until 10 minutes into the show. It is a half hour show. Literally the first 10 minutes of the program were ring entrances. You are paying money to show guys walking to the ring, jawing with fans, slowly wandering around ringside, and standing in the ring for A THIRD OF THE SHOW THAT YOU PAY MONEY TO AIR! They easily could have fit two matches onto this show if they had just started with Andersen and John in the ring. But I guess we needed to see La Migra revolutionize the art of getting heat by throwing tortillas at Mexicans for 8 minutes. Hilariously, when the bell finally rings, THAT'S when we go to our first commercial break. Amazing. That means that halfway through the show there has been zero wrestling, zero promos, zero ads for upcoming shows, nothing whatsoever that could benefit the promotion or viewers at home in any way. I would LOVE to hear any sort of justification from the people that paid for this to represent their company.

And why did we sit through 10+ minutes of ring entrances? Why, so we could get a 2.5 minute match that ends with John getting counted out by walking to the back, of course! Once the bell rang, John tried to avoid locking up with Strongman, rolling to the floor a couple times. Eventually Andersen caught him and clotheslined him to the floor. Then the other two guys in La Migra got on the apron, and got clotheslined off. Then John snuck in with a chair, hit Strongman with it, and bailed to the floor again, followed by all of La Migra walking to the back and getting counted out.

Yep, couple clotheslines, a chairshot. That's why we needed more than 10 minutes of ring entrances. You see, we wouldn't have been able to figure out that we need to boo one of the guys, and cheer the large roided up guy who kept asking for the crowd to cheer. This match set up a tag match later on in the show, so I assume we get that in a coming week, because lord knows we need to take up a few weeks of programming to set up a tag match that took place last decade.

I have no clue what the point of this program is.

2. El Amante & Ulysses (The Latin Explosion) vs. Derek Sanders & Zack Reeb (La Migra)

Ironically this match is joined right when the bell rings and both teams are in the ring. So...they DO know how to edit filler...which means that they just genuinely felt that showing 10 minutes of ring entrances was the best possible use of their paid programming. Wow.

This is a fun match, a solid 8 minutes of wrestling. Ulysses is a smaller guy who is good when sticking to his size, and stumbles when working bigger. Here his armdrags and headscissors look real good, but then he starts working as if he's much bigger and tries a powerslam and backdrop and it becomes clear that Sanders is working with a Real Doll. Amante is the better of the two and is real fluid in his ranas and dropkicks. Sanders and Reeb are a good team, know how to stooge, and know how to give logical comebacks. Match ends with Reeb hitting an accidental clothesline on the ref, then Latin Explosion getting the pinfall when another ref runs in. Naturally the ruling is reversed and La Migra are still the tag champs. Obviously this was such a devastating moment for Latin Explosion that they felt it would still be relevant 4 years later. Also, 3 of the guys in this match are no longer with the promotion. Jon Andersen hasn't working here in over 3 years. Only Oliver John and Derek Sanders remain in the promotion, so they paid money to promote a guy who hasn't worked there in 3 years, and a heartbreaking moment of an underdog tag team (who also hasn't worked there in 3 years) almost winning the tag titles.

This is a promotion that runs practically monthly, and has been doing so for 5 years. What could possibly be gained from showing matches this old?

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