Uprising: Lucha Libre Workrate Report 10/27/13

Come journey back in time with me to 7/25/09, thanks to a promotion inexplicably willing to use paid programming to show 4+ year old matches at midnight on a local Spanish-speaking network.

1. Strongman Jon Andersen vs. Oliver John

It's kind of shocking how poorly edited this show is, as the bell for the match doesn't even hit until 10 minutes into the show. It is a half hour show. Literally the first 10 minutes of the program were ring entrances. You are paying money to show guys walking to the ring, jawing with fans, slowly wandering around ringside, and standing in the ring for A THIRD OF THE SHOW THAT YOU PAY MONEY TO AIR! They easily could have fit two matches onto this show if they had just started with Andersen and John in the ring. But I guess we needed to see La Migra revolutionize the art of getting heat by throwing tortillas at Mexicans for 8 minutes. Hilariously, when the bell finally rings, THAT'S when we go to our first commercial break. Amazing. That means that halfway through the show there has been zero wrestling, zero promos, zero ads for upcoming shows, nothing whatsoever that could benefit the promotion or viewers at home in any way. I would LOVE to hear any sort of justification from the people that paid for this to represent their company.

And why did we sit through 10+ minutes of ring entrances? Why, so we could get a 2.5 minute match that ends with John getting counted out by walking to the back, of course! Once the bell rang, John tried to avoid locking up with Strongman, rolling to the floor a couple times. Eventually Andersen caught him and clotheslined him to the floor. Then the other two guys in La Migra got on the apron, and got clotheslined off. Then John snuck in with a chair, hit Strongman with it, and bailed to the floor again, followed by all of La Migra walking to the back and getting counted out.

Yep, couple clotheslines, a chairshot. That's why we needed more than 10 minutes of ring entrances. You see, we wouldn't have been able to figure out that we need to boo one of the guys, and cheer the large roided up guy who kept asking for the crowd to cheer. This match set up a tag match later on in the show, so I assume we get that in a coming week, because lord knows we need to take up a few weeks of programming to set up a tag match that took place last decade.

I have no clue what the point of this program is.

2. El Amante & Ulysses (The Latin Explosion) vs. Derek Sanders & Zack Reeb (La Migra)

Ironically this match is joined right when the bell rings and both teams are in the ring. So...they DO know how to edit filler...which means that they just genuinely felt that showing 10 minutes of ring entrances was the best possible use of their paid programming. Wow.

This is a fun match, a solid 8 minutes of wrestling. Ulysses is a smaller guy who is good when sticking to his size, and stumbles when working bigger. Here his armdrags and headscissors look real good, but then he starts working as if he's much bigger and tries a powerslam and backdrop and it becomes clear that Sanders is working with a Real Doll. Amante is the better of the two and is real fluid in his ranas and dropkicks. Sanders and Reeb are a good team, know how to stooge, and know how to give logical comebacks. Match ends with Reeb hitting an accidental clothesline on the ref, then Latin Explosion getting the pinfall when another ref runs in. Naturally the ruling is reversed and La Migra are still the tag champs. Obviously this was such a devastating moment for Latin Explosion that they felt it would still be relevant 4 years later. Also, 3 of the guys in this match are no longer with the promotion. Jon Andersen hasn't working here in over 3 years. Only Oliver John and Derek Sanders remain in the promotion, so they paid money to promote a guy who hasn't worked there in 3 years, and a heartbreaking moment of an underdog tag team (who also hasn't worked there in 3 years) almost winning the tag titles.

This is a promotion that runs practically monthly, and has been doing so for 5 years. What could possibly be gained from showing matches this old?

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Uprising: Lucha Libre Workrate Report, 9/15/13

So again, living in a heavily hispanic area I tend to get random lucha shows popping up for 6 weeks on Mexican channels I didn't even realize I get ( this is on Azteca America). It appears to be affiliated with the Bay Area's Pro Wrestling Revolution, but I have no clue what dates the matches orginally happened. It's odd that no channels I get show CMLL anymore, but I can see Willie Mac lucha matches at midnight on a Saturday.

1. Vaquero Fantasma/Incognito/Rockero Del Diablo vs. El Amante/Ulysses/Magno

Okay these matches may be up to 4 years old, if they're still using Incognito. The announcer mentions Santa Maria, CA. A (not very ) quick internet search shows me that holy lord this match was from 6/26/09! That's right, some local channel is showing high school gymnasium lucha from over 4 years ago at midnight on a Saturday night. I am unsure if this is the IWRG Rockero, but it actually appears to be. Amante and Ulysses are small tecnicos and Incognito and Fantasma are good at tossing them around with powerbombs and backdrops. We get a pretty great dive sequence into the entrance way with stereo topes and all 6 guys spilling out dangerously. Magno is pretty slick and with his height it's surprising he wasn't also signed by WWE when they took Incognito. Match goes a little under 10 minutes and was fine. They try and end it on a triple rana, but the timing is all off and a couple guys have to get their faces grinded on for a really long time while the third group completes their rana.

2. Felino/El Chupacabra vs. Hijo de Rey Misterio/Hijo del Rayo de Jalisco Jr.

This match is even older as it's from 3/28/09 (pretty sure the fake Misterio doesn't even work anymore, but not positive about that). I have no clue who the Rayo son is, but I assume he is one of a dozen guys who pay Rayo Jr. money to wear a Rayo mask. Chupacabra is still a bay area guy though this is when he still wore a full green bodysuit with spikes down his spine. Now he just wears tights and face paint (with some fangs). Match starts and the announcer actually does drop "Rayman" so maybe this really is Rayo's son. I loved me some Hombre Sin Nombre back in the day. Now I'm thinking it actually is Rayman as he and Felino pair off and he doesn't look lost in the least and it's not Felino just working stiff matwork against a rook (though Felino's matwork is killer here). Chupacabra is awesome from the apron, sneaking in kicks on Rayman, until Rayman gets sick of it and hits a running forearm, with Chupacabra taking an admirable bump from the apron into the guardrail. I went to a PWR show once and they are clearly very shady about pretending this Mysterio cousin is actually Rey Mysterio. Most of the kids don't know the difference so I suppose there's really no harm in it; gives them a thrill and the parents don't pay an arm and a leg to drag them to a WWE show. When I was a kid my dad took me to see the Harlem Clowns performing in my home town of Healdsburg against some combo of the Healdsburg Fire Dept. and Police Dept. Clearly it wasn't the Globetrotters, but it had former Globetrotter "Showboat" Robinson and they did old Globetrotter routines as well as some new schtick. It was $10 and a 5 minute drive and it was a blast. I can't imagine 10 year old me having more fun seeing the Globetrotters at the Oakland Arena than I did seeing the Clowns in the Healdsburg High gymnasium. So fake Rey does a (bad) 619 and a decent dive to the floor, and a bunch of kids are stoked. Match ends not too long after that with Rayman hitting a majistral on Felino. So, not much of a match at 7 minutes, but pleasantly weird to find it on TV on a Saturday night after Svengoolie.

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