WWF 305 Live: Earthquake! Adonis! Tugboat! Atlas!

Adrian Adonis vs. Tony Atlas WWF 1/11/86 - VERY GOOD

ER: You might be shocked to know that fans in Philadelphia didn't react warmly to Adonis as The Adorable One. But Dick Graham and Lord Alfred really could not get over what this was supposed to be, and the commentary over half this match is them literally chuckling over the phrase "out of the closet" and then referring more to Adonis being out of the closet. They couldn't get enough of it. They were fascinated by it. They didn't know what to make of it, but they knew that they explicitly wanted to laugh about it. Except Adonis leans into every part of it and relishes the heat, and it's great. And he uses that heat and runs with it and doesn't lock up with Atlas for the first several minutes. He walks out, he gets slurs yelled at him from every side of the ring, and he looks like he's loving every bit of it. This man knew how to lean on the ropes and get a reaction from the littlest gestures. When the blows start coming, Adonis sells for Atlas's big headbutts, always spinning into the mat or bumping it like a brutal clothesline, once even flying into and getting tangled in the ropes. When he wasn't selling for big Atlas headbutts, he was hitting Tony with avalanches and the nastiest diving elbows. Both guys took hard bumps into the turnbuckles, with the Adonis bump especially memorable. Adonis gets crotched on the top rope and it gets treated as a huge crowd reaction moment, and I think I'm just going to have a soft spot for these matches that include a couple big bumps with some good crowd heat. High floor. 

Earthquake vs. Tugboat WWF Superstars 2/8/91 - EPIC

ER: This was short - just over 3 minutes long - but it was a fantastic big man sprint that felt, ahem, bigger than its length. There was belly bouncing, big collisions, and the most incredibly brave trust in ring ropes you've ever seen. Nobody runs the ropes like John Tenta. He's the greatest rope runner in wrestling history, throwing his full ass and hip down into the middle rope with 100% pure faith, the faith of a man being wheelbarrowed on a tightrope across Niagara Falls. Whenever I see a wrestler of a certain size hit the ropes at full speed, the ONLY thing that I thing about is one of those ropes snapping and sending a beautiful giant to an even shorter life. It's the only thing that crosses my mind when Andre throws his whole body backward at the ropes, and John Tenta hits those ropes every single time like a man who has never once considered the possibility of those ropes snapping like power lines in a storm. 

It's a beautiful thing to witness another human as they're showing 100% trust, in anything. Trust is a funny thing. We aren't always consistent in who or how we trust. We all consciously choose what things in life we trust. I don't 100% know what kind of meat was in any of the hundreds of fast food cheeseburgers I've eaten over my lifetime, but it's a risk I've taken with no second thought those hundreds of times. It's not heroic, we just all get to draw our own Trust Map whether we want to or not, and John Tenta has no time to let one single ring rope live rent-free in his head. There is nothing that will keep Tenta from hitting the ropes so hard that his perfect frame goes completely over the ring apron, bicep draped over the top rope as if he's leaning out the passenger window of his friend's pick-up, the happiest eyes you've seen telling you just how much he loves running those ropes. 

He hits two incredibly satisfying clotheslines that send Tugboat flying down in two great ring shaking back splashes. Earthquake runs through Tugboat with full confidence, clubs at his back, and hits a fun jumping kick to the stomach. Tugboat gets to hit a big avalanche and gets to show off his underrated talent as a babyface who can fire up a crowd. The match breaks down when Jimmy Hart interferes, in his resplendent airbrushed Earthquake blazer, gets lifted to the top rope by Tugboat and held there by the lapels, standing in the middle of the top rope. Earthquake nails Tugboat with the megaphone in full uncaring view of the ref. Earthquake is DQ'd and refuses to let that DQ get in the way of his good time, hitting a full thigh legdrop and Earthquake splash. Earthquake is a man who gets value out of his DQ. This is the kind of quick starburst spectacle you want to see from two clashing Kodiaks, a type of wrestling we won't ever see again. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE 305 LIVE

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WWF 305 Live: Andre!! Studd! Bundy! Atlas! Hillbilly Jim!

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Andre the Giant/Tony Atlas WWF SNME 10/5/85 - VERY GOOD

ER: The angle to set this one up was good, with Studd holding Andre's legs while Bundy kept hitting splash after splash on him. All of Bundy's splashes looked good, and this match kicked ass. Atlas looked downright tiny compared to all these oafs in the ring, and when Atlas is the smallest guy in a match you know it's gonna rule. This is all about Andre's revenge, going after Bundy and taking shots at Studd, with the kind of pace that said "we ain't going long". Andre chokes Bundy with his singlet straps, and in a moment of inspired genius, Andre does his double headlock noggin knocker spot....except he does it to Bundy and Atlas! Andre headlocks his own partner because his medically proven concrete head is a more violent weapon than clonking Bundy's head against Studd's! I don't think I've seen that before, and I am in love. 

Atlas hits his big jumping headbutts after tagging in, Bundy misses an awesome fat guy elbowdrop (I'm not sure what I love more: fat guys hitting elbowdrops, or fat guys missing elbowdrops), Atlas misses a dropkick and Bundy hits a splash. Studd gets in and goes right after Andre, which backfires spectacularly. Andre headbutts him from the apron and gets in and starts beating Studd, the pairing the crowd was dying for, and I loved Andre's big boot that sent Studd to the floor. Studd runs Atlas into the ringpost in a cool way, and the visual of Andre being attacked by Studd and Bundy while fighting back before the DQ was killer. Hogan runs out to save and his wedding attire is class (this was the Uncle Elmer wedding episode): leather pants, snakeskin cowboy boots, weight belt cummerbund, tuxedo shirt with the sleeves ripped off, and bowtie. This almost feels like a woman wearing a white gown to someone else's wedding. You can't upstage the groom like this, my man.

Andre the Giant/Hillbilly Jim vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy WWF 11/10/85 - GREAT

ER: This was a main event attraction on an otherwise dull Maple Leaf Gardens show. Dino Bravo vs. Nikolai Volkoff was the big Canadian attraction, and the undercard was filled with Tony Parisi and Terry Gibbs and Ron Shaw. But then you get THIS match between maybe the four biggest guys on the roster and it's not some quickie affair. There are some really big moments and the structure was not what I expected. It's starts with Andre/Studd, and Andre backs him into the corner to flatten him. But pretty quickly, Studd gets a knee up right into Andre's back, and we get a long very fun stretch of Andre in peril. I hadn't crossed my mind that we'd get Andre in peril as the bulk of the match, as my first guess had been WWF's typical heel in peril formula that they used a lot in this era, and after that would have guessed a Hillbilly in peril. 

So Andre takes some nice clubbing shots from Studd, hitting Andre's chest with his left arm and Andre's back with his right arm. Studd and Bundy are good at clubbing on Andre while avoiding anything bigger, and Andre is great at selling like he's in actual danger without any of the dangerous things hitting. For example, Bundy tags in and smacks Andre around in the corner, but when he runs back in to try and avalanche Andre gets a boot up, sending Bundy bumping back towards Studd in a fun way. Bundy also misses a big elbow drop, so Andre has been established as taking a bunch of damage but hasn't been hit with anything big. He tries to tie Studd up with a bearhug and eventually we get our Hillbilly hot tag, which isn't as good as it should be. 

But it all builds to a truly great finish, as we get an Andre tied in the ropes spot done in a way I've never seen done before: Bundy and Studd tie Andre up on the apron, with Andre facing toward the crowd, sitting on the apron. That's a cool unique visual to the classic Andre trapped spot, and then Studd just brains Andre with the ringside timekeeper's table. It was a sturdy wooden table and made a big PLONK sound on Andre's head, and they do an all time great stretcher job for Andre. Andre is lying motionless at ringside for over 5 minutes, and it was convincing enough that it was clearly fooling more than just children. If I had seen this in my teens I would have bought it entirely. It takes forever to get Andre out of there, and that helps with the realism. Total big time angle that somehow was ONLY used to set up a return house show, even though I don't think I've ever seen someone lay out Andre to this degree. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE 305 LIVE

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WWF 24/7 BOSTON GARDEN THOUGHTS

Boston Garden 6/27/86

Les Thornton/Tiger Chung Lee v. Danny Spivey/Mike Rotundo

I grew up on WWF Superstars, where guys like Lee and Thornton got beat in five minutes, it is fun to see them work a long competitive match. The Thornton v. Rotundo sections of this match were really great, the Chung Lee v. Spivey parts of the match, not so much. 1986 Spivey really stunk, and Chung Lee had a couple of amusing comedy bumps, but not much else. Thornton was super, he had a cool mat section with Rotundo, nice European uppercuts, nasty knees etc. I am really digging a lot of the WWF enhancement guys. Thornton was no Bobby Bass but he was pretty great.

Handsome Harley Race v. Tony Atlas

Tony Atlas was always really bad, and by 1986 he was way past his prime, but Harley Race is a guy who worked as a touring NWA champion. He knows how to work a fun match around a useless black babyface working a hard headed ethnic gimmick. You have to figure Harley probably had multiple 60 minute matches with Rufus R. Jones and he can pretty much graft that match structure on this match. Race has a lot of different "I am headbutting a black guy" spots, the initial headbutt which establishes the thick skull, various revenge spots from Atlas, and then an almost Fujiwaraish headbutt to the jaw which circumvents the think black skull. For a match that wasn't very good, this was pretty good.

King Tonga v. Duke of Dorchester Pete Doherty

This was a little disappointing. The Duke is really not a high end WWF 80's WIMPY. Tonga is really athletic at this point, but the match wasn't much. They worked the match around Tonga's thick skull, in the match right after they worked Atlas with the same gimmick, all that was in addition to the JYD match in the semi-main. Who was the road agent for these shows Orval Faubus?

Pedro Morales v. Moondog Spike

I was excited for the chance to see the Moondogs work in separate singles enhancement matches. Still 80's Pedro Morales is rough. I did enjoy the finish which was Moondog Spike and Pedro Morales working a two count roll up sequence. I almost expected them to do stereo kip-ups and a pose to crowd applause.

Jake Roberts v. Ricky Steamboat

There were two of these on the WWF 80's set, and this was better than the Toronto match but not as good as the other Boston Garden one. This was worked as a brawl with Steamboat breaking out all of his illegal karate, and Roberts bumping around more then I remember him doing. There was some great sneaky Roberts, although he was on defense for the majority of the match. He really is great at the little things. There is a spot where he can't get his snake bag open, because of his sweaty hands, he just kept getting more desperate and it was a great way for Steamboat to get back on offense. Every time I see WWF Steamboat I am shocked at how roided he was, in the Wellness WWF he would be booked like Bobby Lashley. The match ends with a count out, and Roberts totally splits his head open in the post match, which was weird to see on an house show.

Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage

This was your standard match between these two guys. Savage bumps all around the ring for Hogan's crappy looking offense, Randy gets a couple of offensive moves before hitting his top rope elbow which Hogan completely no-sells. Then Hogan hulks up and squashes him. No wonder Macho Man wants to stab Hogan today.

Moondog Rex v. Billy Jack Haynes

Yikes, WWF Moondogs are not Memphis Moondogs. Billy Jack really blows, he kept throwing these godawful dropkicks, over and over again. For a guy who was working a strongman gimmick he was clearly less roided than Steamboat.

King Kong Bundy v. Junkyard Dog

This was shockingly great, maybe the best JYD singles match I have ever seen. JYD has really nice pacing in all of his matches, but his big flaw is that he is a punch, kick, headbutt wrestler with shitty looking punches, kicks and headbutts. They all looked great here though, Bundy must have been leaning in to them. There was a bunch of cool punch exchanges, and Bundy doing sneaky shots with the chain. There was a great fight over the chain which JYD won by landing a really great looking headbutt. JYD actually had a giant encephalitic head, when you add that to his being Black, you really bought him having headbutts stronger then anyone else's, it must have been like getting hit with a frozen turkey.

Don Muraco v. Paul Orndorff

This was as boring as Don Muraco v. Paul Orndorff. I think I fell asleep four times in an eleven minute match, and I was watching in fast forward. I can't believe anyone ever liked either guy

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