Jack Birthrider is Trapped in a Loveless Marriage

Jack Birthrider parked his truck in the driveway of his modest but mortgaged to the hilt home. She was home. She was often home before him, so this wasn't particularly notable, but he had hoped. Hoped she would be...elsewhere. Who's to say where. Maybe she had to run out for groceries. Maybe someone was running late to their hair appointment and she offered to wait for them, at the salon. Something.

But she was home. He walked in, kicked his boots off by the door, placed his lunchbox on the dining room table - a table that was only ever used to place stuff on, like mail, his lunchbox, his keys, the nice tablecloth if her mother was coming over - but a table in the dining room. The dining room table. She was in the back and called to him, making sure it was him and not some faceless assailant. What would be the odds? She was doing laundry. Well, she was sorting laundry. Everything always seemed so stop at the sorting process. "I need to do laundry tonight. I'm out of underwear," she would say. But some of the sorted piles would sit next to the washer for days, weeks. he could bring these piles up, but that would be him acknowledging that there was something that needed to be done.

Jack Birthrider needed a walk. Fresh air. Jack Birthrider needed more than that, but that was all that he could have at that moment, so that was all he would take. One block over he saw scrawled into the sidewalk pavement "Juan y Ruby". Juan and Ruby. Juan and Ruby. It felt stupid to pine for lost young love, but Juan and Ruby went and messed up his walk. Probably just a couple of teenagers. Or a couple of misled adults. Juan was probably scrawny, weak mustache, short close hair, aloof. Ruby short, curvy, full features...with big eyes, soft lips...like her. Just like her. How long had it been? How long had it been since they even spoke. Really spoke. All of their last conversations had gone so badly. Even the ones that started off well, ended poorly. Some just started out poorly. Juan y Ruby.

Jack Birthrider thought back to a time when their conversations came easy, when neither had to think before speaking because neither had to worry about saying the wrong thing, bringing up the wrong memories, having their words misinterpreted, having 100% confidence that what the other said was never said to hurt, always said in good faith. He thought back to those times, but those times keep seeming fuzzier with every step he took.

His truck needed an oil change three weeks ago.

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PRO WRESTLING FUJIWARA-GUMI SHOW #25 10/31/94

Minoru Tanaka v. Takashi Okano

TKG: We think Okano might be Winger, he has some nice kicks and does a neat rolling knee bar but this is mostly Tanaka taking Winger down and forcing him to go for rope breaks.

PAS: Tanaka did break out his northern lights suplex into an armbar, which I remember thinking was really awesome when I saw it originally, but looks kind of stupid now.

Don Arakawa v. Hiroyoshi Kotsubu

TKG: We think Kotsubo is the future Yone Genjin. I don't understand why you wouldn't run Wellington Wilkins vs. Arakawa instead. This isn't worked as comedy match so much as Yone Genjin vs. Arakawa working a really basic PWFG style match. Genjin really isn't very good at this as he has some horrible knee strikes in the corner. Genjin is able to take down Arakwa but Arakawa is better when they actually get to the mat. The finish to this is really awesome as Kotsubo goes for a hiptoss and Arakawa pulls away into a front choke.

PAS: For a comedy guy working shootstyle Kotsubu is no Lingerie Muto. I bet Lingerie Muto v. Don Arakawa worked PWFG style would rule.

Katsumi Usuda v. Shoichi Funaki

TKG: Last time these two matched up it wasn't very good, this time I dug it a bunch. Last time i think it was worked more evenly. This time Usuda works as stronger (higher level) of the two and just pastes Funaki with strikes, while Funaki gets in really fast near fall submission attempts. Funaki goes for one drop kick that felt really out of place, Usuda steps out of the way of the drop kick and just stomps Funaki when Funaki falls to floor.

PAS: Yeah Usuda was a real asskicker here, last match they were two debuting guys working even. Here Usuda was clearly higher up on the food chain, and he just pounded the shit out of Funaki.

Taka Michinoku vs. Naohiro Hoshikawa

TKG: This isn't really worked like a PWFG match. Its more or less a straight up juniors match just without pinfall attempts. I guess they do very little rope running. But essentially a juniors match. These two are really high end junior workers and best match on the show thus far. Still not a PWFG style match.

PAS: They start working the mat, but by the end they are breaking off dives and big nearfalls. TAKA in the mid nineties was my favorite wrestler and he was really awesome here. The springboard dive is still super impressive looking, and he did this great move where he started to whip Hosikawa into the ropes and instead clotheslined him in the back of the head. Not a PWFG style match at all, but still a total blast.

Daisuke Ikeda v. Yuji Nagata

PAS: This was pretty great, for some reason the yutz doing the handheld, finally realizes how to use the zoom function, so it is a lot more watchable then the other matches. This is worked really BattlArts style, as there is less matwork and more kicking people in the face and dumping them on the top of their heads. Nagata especially breaks out some nasty suplexes, you get the sense from this match if he had just worked BattlArts he could have ended up a second rate Usuda rather then a eighth rate Masahiro Chono

TKG: Ah he could have been a first rate Hijikata as heavy. And whatever else you want to say about Nagata, he is a lot better than Glen Jacobs. This has a lot more mat work then Phil remembers, simply cause thats less memorable than the strikes and violent throws. The matwork was really fast and all about jockeying for throws. the whole thing was worked at a really nice heavyweight sprint pace.

Yuki Ishikawa v. James Anderson

PAS: I have no idea who Anderson is (maybe Jack Birthrider?), and the cameraman zooms out again, so I don't get a good look at his face. This was fun though, as Anderson had some nice takedowns, and Ishikawa's matwork was really violent. He looked like he was trying to rip Anderson's arm or leg or head off. They had some really nice near falls too, I wish I had a better view of the whole thing,

TKG: I don't think he was Birthrider. I think he may have been Charlie Anderson as he works kind of like Anderson. Anderson has some nice throws and nice matwork and does some neat stuff where he moves from clinch to the ground. He'll grab a lock and force Ishikawa down. His stuff doesn't really have the force of Ishikawa's. I mean Anderson isn't throwing week Momoe Nakanishi style suplexes but it still comes off as though he's working a whole lot more gentle than his opponent. cooler stuff in this match then in the one before, but Ikeda and Nagata were working with same level of force.

Yoshiaki Fujiwara v. Joe Difuria

TKG: Difuria is a big roided up US indy guy. i think I may have once seen him and Scott Putski work The Headbangers in King of Prussia. I mean he looks like the kind of guy that you'd see tagged with Putski vs. the Headbangers. He works like he may have been the Shane Twins trainer. I think Fujiwara vs. Putski, or Mosh would have been a much better match. I mean why wasn't DC Drake returning PWFG's calls? Difuria works like barely trained big roided guy and Fujiwara does the type of selling you do when faced with big barely trained roided guy. None of Difuria's stuff looked as good as Jacobs and on some level I think Fujiwara had Difuria control way too much. Not good.

PAS: I liked Fujiwara in this, as I thought he laid out a nice match, as DeFuria shrugged away everything he tried until he finally got the heel hook in. With Glen Jacobs this match would have been good, hell this match would have been good against Van Hammer, DeFuria is worse then both and so it wasn't good. Still I was impressed by Fujiwara.

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PRO WRESTLING FUJIWARA-GUMI SHOW #23 1/24/94

Katsumi Usuda v. Shoichi Funaki:

TKG: I've seen Funaki job in lots of short matches and never thought he took finishes in particularly compelling way. Here he's uninteresting for the bulk of the match but then eats a nasty kick from Usuda, sells it really great and then sells the finishing submission really great. This was nothing till the finish.

PAS: Yeah he is a way better shootstyle jobber then a Velocity jobber. This wasn't very good though. Funaki never really was particularly good, he was a fine fifth member of KDX when Hanzo Nakajima wasn't around. Hanzo Nakajimi v. Usuda might have been better.

Mark Ashford-Smith v. Minoru Tanaka

TKG: This started with a staredown. May have been the most homoerotic staredown in all of wrestling. I've seen HHH v. HBK matches. I've seen some homoerotic staredowns. Still if not number one at least top five. Really a nothing match. One neat spot where Mark Starr dodges a kick by dropping Tanaka on his head and Starr does a nice takedown to get the submission. Submission itself wasn't as cool as the takedown.

PAS: Short and underinspiring, Tanaka was really short, as Ashford-Smith dwarfed him almost as much as Kane dwarfed Ishikawa. Smith doesn't work as a giant though and he kind of needed to for this match to work.

Jack Birthrider v. Daisuke Ikeda

TKG: I don't think any match has gone over 8 minutes on this show but this was first that was actually semi-compelling. Birthrider looks like an even more roided Dan Devine. He also spends a lot of the match reaching into his trunks and adjusting his junk. When not playing with himself he works like an amateur guy with nice throws and mat stuff.Ikeda has nice kicks and submission attempts although Devines almost comedy selling kind of hurts it. Pretty much a five minute competitive squash. Best thing on show thus far.

PAS: Birthrider looked facially like Mario Cantone if he was a gym queen instead of a fashion queen. He had a nice set of takedowns, but this never got going really.

Yoshiaki Fujiwara v. Diuseul Berto

TKG: So I was looking for this to save the show and well it didn't. They mostly exchange standup till someone is in position for takedown and submission attempt. Fujiwara needs to go for rope break first, Deusuel goes for rope break after second exchange, and Fujiwara gets the take down in the middle of the ring after third exchange. Deuseul with nowhere to go taps out. Really the most primitive of shootstyle formulas. Enjoyed it but nothing really memorable.

PAS: This was the least of the recent Diuseul Berto matches, which is kind of ridiculous. I mean its Fujiwara, your Fujiwara match shouldn't be smoked by your Jerry Flynn match, but this really was. Fujiwara normally can find more interesting things to do with a guy below him, but this was worked the way Meada would work it.

Glen Jacobs v. Yuki Ishikawa

TKG: Glen Jacons looks huge next to ishikawa. Like Khali vs. Rey. Glen Jacobs is working as big guy with lots of knee strikes and giant throws vs. Ishikawa as guy who dominates on the ground. Jacobs throws aren't that spectacular but the real hole in Jacobs work is that he's either on offense or he isn't. When he's not on offense he just seems to be waiting for Ishikawa to run through his stuff before Jacobs can escape to the rope. Doesn't fight any of the offense. Just waits for Ishikawa to finish so they can be stood up. I like Ishikawa alot more than I like Takada but this was nowhere near as good as Takada vs. Mark Lewin. Most of that has to do with the falling quality of Evil wrestling monsters ( Purple Haze vis a vis Kane). Did Tamura get to work Ron Reiss?

PAS: Glen Jacobs really stinks and always has, but I may have like him more as gangly amateur wrestler, then as masked evil guy. Now that Undertaker and Kane are on the same brand again, they are clearly going to go back to that match up. I get the sense it might be fun as a Randy Couture amateur guy v. Chuck Lidell pure striker, see if Taker's sprawl can counter Kane's shoot.

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