ER: So, Negro Navarro ran a show inside an octagon, for reasons I personally do not know. But I've never seen lucha take place in an octagon. I've seen plenty of lucha cage matches (which are mostly dreadful) and plenty of Octagon (which I couldn't say is completely dreadful) but never lucha in an octagon. This feels worth writing about (even though it is almost certainly going to be dreadful). The show was not actually called Bloodsport, but it probably had some kind of name like Arena Lopez Collision Course! so we'll instead go with Bloodsport.
Explosivo/Murcielago vs. Dankar/Fuerza Ballenata
ER: Well, yep, it's certainly weird. The first part of the match is normal, as it's mostly in the center of the cage and has the guys pairing off doing the kind of lucha exchanges that you'd expect. There's more mat stuff, more arm drags, more standing work around arm twists and blocking hip tosses. It's weird because the partners are just standing inside the cage off to the edge, waiting for their turn. It doesn't turn into a full tornado match until halfway through, and then it gets amusing as we get rope running exchanges with no ropes. So guys are bouncing off the cage, or just working more clever start/stop spots, rolling away to get distance before running back to do quicker lucha spots. I have next to no clue who any of the guys are. I think I have one of them figured out - the stout rudo has "Fuerza Ballenata" across his back, which would seem to be a strong indicator that he is Fuerza Ballenata...but he also has the Batman logo on his shirt. Murcielago = Bat. It's as if these guys weren't even thinking about the white men who would be writing up this show at a later date. There are no sure things. The guy in gold (Explosivo?) took some nice bumps into the cage, Ballenata threw a couple decent low dropkicks and bumped big off a dropkick to his own knee, and one match in we're definitely already feeling confined by the octagon.
Baronessa/Lolita vs. Chika Tormenta/Ludark Shaitan
ER: Also having to guess who is who here. I was hoping one of them would have a Nabokov shirt on or something and then we could move from there. But I'm gonna pretend Tormenta is the blond bully, and this was pretty fun. As in the first match, I think the one on one portions are strong but things get messy once it breaks down into a tornado tag. We need the partners standing awkwardly in their respective corners. I cannot wait for the trios on this card as you'll just have bulky guys lurking around the edges of this very large octagon. I liked the standing exchanges, and Lolita-or-Baronessa had some nice arm work, a few cool ways to work into an armdrag, nice back elbow and she also takes a nice face first bump into the cage. Tormenta has a really impactful dropkick and nice big boot and a cool inverted Samoan drop, and Tormenta/Ludark work a backcracker/chestbreaker combo that doesn't come off forced and looks good. Ludark takes a suplex at a nice high angle and throws a nice butterfly suplex of her own. This was fun.
Demus 3:16/Pasion Cristal vs. Angel Del Amor/Jessy Ventura
ER: This octagon is really proving to be quite a hindrance, as so far all three matches would have been much better inside a normal ring. I am now regretting watching this entire show, and not just the intriguing main event (which was the only reason I even found out about this show). But also, the matches have gone on entirely too long. 18 minute una caida matches in a limiting environment feel eternal, and every match so far has been allotted way too much time. More than anything, this made me want to see a Demus/Jessy singles. I believe this is my first time seeing Ventura (and Jessy Ventura is a GREAT exotico name) and I came away impressed. She has great dramatic exotico chops and slaps, really laces in with stomps and kicks, cut out the knees on a cool backdrop, and seems like someone who would be great within an actual ring. Her brawling with Demus was a real highlight of this, as was her putting the boots to Cristal, as was her 0.8 Zeuxis level hair. Demus didn't go fully enraged honey badger, but it was telling that 15 (!) minutes into this when the octagon door got opened and the combatants started spilling out I thought "oh this might actually be picking up!" This was not bad, the exoticos and Demus looked good (though all seemed completely thrown by not be able to time rope running, and there was a weird botch where Cristal just kind of fell off a cage after taking awhile to get up there), but at least they brought some unique elements to a restricting environment: crowd brawling, and brawling on top of the octagon. And it should be noted that while the octagon is a problem so far, the real problem may be the continued insistence on working traditional lucha style within the octagon. If the matches had all been worked more appropriately to their confines and focused far more on shorter matches structured around matwork, this could have been killer.
Heddi Karaoui/Zumbi vs. Francois/Pierre Montanez
ER: This definitely felt like the most wholly realized version of the show's gimmick so far. Francois and Montanez come off much more like MMA guys in a lucha environment whereas everyone else on the show have been lucha guys uncomfortably doing lucha in an MMA cage. This match seemed to get the vision right. It was kept to 8 minutes and was almost entirely a tornado tag with guys pairing off working submissions concurrently, with some fun moments of pro wrestling thrown in. It felt exhibition-y, but in a mean aggressive way. The transitions made up for lack of real struggle with what looked like some actual pain, which is good! Karaoui and one of the MMA guys trade armbars and Zumbi is watching from a distance and is really great at getting involved, with my favorite moment being Zumbi running in and breaking up a sub with a hard dropkick. The chaos on this was cool as it looked like 4 guys doing gym sparring so there always looked like danger, with the fun added element of a partner trying to rush over when things got dangerous. Two moments showed that these guys knew how to come up with neat ways to utilize the octagon setting more than anyone else on the card (so far): Early on Karaoui threw an MMA guy into the cage and hit him with a great belly to belly as the guy was recoiling from the cage; and for the finish Zumbi locked in a triangle but was picked up and swung into the cage a few times before sinking in the triangle for the stoppage. I liked Zumbi's energy in this, throwing strikes and mixing up subs, and Karaoui worked some tough looking holds with both MMA guys. If the whole show was like this, I would be recommending this show.
Ricky Marvin/Estudiante Jr./Hijo Del Solar vs. Trauma I/Trauma II/Hijo del Fishman
ER: We're getting a little warmer, but this concept is still dead in the water. The ring ropes can provide such visual distance and now it's just every single person involved in the match standing inside the octagon, off to the side. Someone will lock on a nice submission, but teammates are literally standing a few feet away against the cage, so nothing has time to breathe. Traumas both at least understand that the way to make this work is to just work stiff, so they mostly avoid the prior "just try and work bad lucha without any of the ropes that make it work" and just beat down Hijo del Solar. A lot of this is them cutting off the octagon and stiffing Solar Jr. . Marvin shows good spunk but all of his spectacular spot potential is taken away by the cage, so he does a really nice dropkick and a less successful crossbody off the top. I really liked the Traumas here, but this is a tough style to work with, and they were more successful than most. They really started throwing hard shots (T1 bullied Solar Jr. through the cage door and dragged him back in) and T2 was using the cage to work takedowns, but everyone being so close means there is no drama for submissions.
Negro Navarro/Mascara Ano 2000/Scorpio Jr. vs. Solar/Mano Negra/Canek
ER: We made it! We made it to the end of this cursed show that I was tricked into watching by Siobhan. And this match and the prior were the ones that excited me enough to fall for the obvious trick. But man this match was a bummer. These guys are old, and I love old man matches, but these guys were old old. And what's annoying, is that we were one guy away from having a legitimately 60-and-up match. Scorpio Jr. is 52 (and moves as if he was the 5th oldest in the match) and fucks up everything. However, the mean age of the participants is 61, so make no mistake this match is still filled with old as fuck luchadors. Mascara is easily the most feisty, taking far and away the most bumps on the clearly hard as hell mat. But Mascara took rolling armdrags and was the only one keeping the rhythm tight when the match broke into classic comedy routines. This whole show had been clunky shootstyle and clunky lucha, and it's like Mascara noticed that and fell back on an old routine, an established stand up falling back on greatest hits from their first special. The rudos all accidentally chop each other when tecnicos move, and they work in a genuine funny moment when Mano Negra (masked) is holding Scorpio Jr.'s arms behind his back, and Mascara sneaks in behind Negra aiming to kick him, and Negra turns around as Mascara comically holds back on his kick so as not to kick Scorpio. Navarro repeats the bit. It's a funny bit done by old pros, in the middle of a lucha octagon. But this was rough. Canek is the elder statesman of this group, and while he looks cosmetically in impressive shape for a 67 year old, he moves slower than maybe any wrestler I've seen. He came off slower than late career Andre or Baba. He could barely lift his arm to throw a couple lariats and couldn't hit with any ounce of force, and his best armdrag was him holding out his arm to his side and falling to the mat, as Mascara held the arm and rolled through it like he was being tossed by a legend. Canek was kind of sad here, but weirdly inspiring as he still looked resplendent as fuck in his luminescent deep orange tights. Canek slammed Andre. I'm cool with him throwing bad lariats several years into AARP eligibility. Solar also looked slick as hell; his gray, black, and dashes of red ensemble made him look like an asskicking NES, and as you can imagine we did get moments of he and Navarro doing their thing. Not as many as you'd think (Navarro disappeared entirely for large portions of this), though Solar's climb up victory roll was a cool as hell move for a guy in his 60s to pull off. This was not good, but had some moments of inspired surreality, and made me like Mascara Ano Dos Mil somehow even more than I already do.
This was a show with some genuine, weird on paper appeal to it. But no match on this card benefitted in any way from that damned octagon, and here we are at the end of the show when we wind up saying aloud, "literally every one of these matches would have been better in an actual ring." I am dedicated to viewing weird things people tell me to view. But goddamn, people. Appreciate my efforts, please.
Labels: Canek, Demus 3:16, Heddi Karaoui, Hijo del Fishman, Hijo del Solar, Jessy Ventura, Mano Negra, Mascara Ano 2000, Negro Navarro, Pasion Cristal, Ricky Marvin, Scorpio Jr., Solar, Trauma 1, Trauma 2, Zumbi
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