Found Footage Friday: CHICANA~! FARAON~! MAYNE~! VENTURA~! SAVAGE HANDICAP MATCH~!

Jesse Ventura vs. Moondog Mayne Portland 5/7/77

MD: Savoldi footage here but on youtube. Definitely new to me and among the earliest Portland I've ever seen. We just get eight and a half minutes but it's great. Watching old Portland wrestling always feels like going home to me. It's just the atmosphere. Just such a family set up. Ventura here has a mask because he lost his hair so that's novel. Mayne is the One Man Gang, the Blond Bomber, scruffy and a local legend even by this point. 

Ventura controlled early with pretty conventional stuff. We don't see how he took over on either fall that we get unfortunately. Mayne's comeback is great as someone gave him coffee and he just blatantly tossed it into the mask. He took the first fall with the bombs away kneedrop, that stalwart of the west coast (used by Stevens, Patterson, Mayne). When we come back in the second fall, he's trapped in the ropes and takes this great bump through them as Ventura frees him. He comes back with an eyepoke after a little bit of king of the mountain though and we leave off with Snuka having tossed him a cowbell from outside and him going to town on Ventura. Just a nice snapshot. Hopefully even more of this 77 Portland shows up. It's always wild to see pre-Buddy Portland.

ER: I thought this was pedestrian stuff until the moment Moondog graciously accepted a fan's cup of hot coffee and threw it in Ventura's face. Throwing beer or getting hit with a soda is always great wrestling, but you never get guys utilizing hot coffee or cocoa. Hot coffee to finally kick the main event into gear is so great. Lonnie Mayne is only 33 years old year but looks 60, so it looks cool when he takes the Harley Race bump to the floor. It looks like an old man falls head first on the concrete or an old man jumped off the rope onto his knee and it makes Mayne a more compelling babyface. It means he's the kind of great babyface who got loud cheers for eye raking and bashing Ventura with a cowbell. So we only get the first 7 minutes of a 20 or 30 minute 2/3 falls draw, which is not much. I want to know if there was blood, and what Ventura did when/if his mask got torn off, and how he looked. We need to go further back to establish when Sandy Barr firmly established his trademark look that he carried through the 80s.   

Randy Savage vs. Danny Doyle/Buddy Landel ICW 1980

MD: New footage Allan uncovered and posted to Twitter. This is fascinating because it's Savage against two real undercard guys. This isn't even on Cagematch. The earliest Landel we have noted there is 81. Roop (injured) is on commentary with Izzy Slapowitz and a little of the latter goes a long way. Doug Vines is in the crowd watching. There's a 10K bounty on Ronnie Garvin who Savage (the champ) is dodging.

Like I said, it's Savage, as a vulnerable but dangerous champ against two undercard wrestlers, saying he can beat them both in the ten minutes, elimination style, and they really play up the numbers advantage and just how high a hill Savage has to climb against two guys. It's a while before he gets any offense at all and then even after he gets it, it's hard to keep it. 

He hits the top rope axe handle to the floor on Landel and they note that while a top rope move into the ring is illegal, there are no rules against jumping to the floor since no one's ever done it. He then finishes off Landel by suplexing him back in. Doyle immediately rushes him and while Savage takes over, the bell rings as the time limit expires. Then Savage has a fit at the commentary booth, threatening everyone until Vines offers to take out Garvin next week for just $5000. Pretty engaging stuff that really made Savage look like he could be beaten and that he was edging ever closer to losing his mind and just accepting a challenge from Garvin. Very cool find.

ER: I never think much about the handicap as a match structure, but it might be our least explored "common" match structure. I say least explored, because they are not often worked like Savage works here, which is approaching the match as an actual obstacle. Yes, these two men are undercarders who Savage would have no trouble with in a singles, but the match takes an honest look at how tough it would be to face off against two men. Handicap matches are most commonly used to put over one man dominating two men. The Andre handicap matches are entertaining, brief looks at Andre stacking boneless men like cordwood, but rarely used as a way to actually just double (or triple) the danger Andre was in. It's like fighting a zombie. Easy in theory, but throw in another and it's suddenly easy to get overwhelmed. Savage was facing a couple nobodies and not getting overwhelmed, but he's treating it like being outnumbered and it's a fascinating approach. 

Buddy Landel looks like Gino here and I love it. This is teenage Buddy Landel! Savage hits this kid with a middle rope elbowdrop that's weird because it's different than how Savage hits his top rope elbowdrop. Buddy takes two massive bumps to the floor, both through the ropes: the first bounces the side of his head off the apron, the second is after he's pinned and Savage sends him into a sprawling bump onto the concrete. Seeing No Kneepads Buddy Landel bumping this big is like a DVDVR version of the Can't Powerbomb Kidman joke.

Bob Roop is a real scary type. He's the most dull man you've ever heard on commentary, getting just trampled over by Izzy Slapowitz, who dominates him with his routine like Robert Smigel on a red carpet, and Roop just takes it with the sad little quiet responses of a man playing by the rules. It freaks me out man. Do you know how tough Bob Roop is? It's chilling to hear a real shooter and killer sound this soft, like finding out some guy who works at your mom's office has broken multiple mens' bones. Slapowitz and then even Savage call Roop a gimp and a "stupid cripple" when Savage's 10 minute time limit is legitimately shorted by a minute and it made me want to see Roop/Savage so bad. We probably don't have that. 

Sangre Chicana vs. El Faraon CMLL 11/23/85

MD: This was a hell of a find. Yes it's anticlimactic but it's anticlimactic because they're trying to kill one another with a bottle which is the very best reason in the history of wrestling for a match to be anticlimactic. Props to Roy for finding this and the associated full episode of 85 EMLL That we will get to eventually.

Chicana is wild to start, massive hair bouncing around his head, the sort of hair that you'd pay a week's salary to watch him lose, that kind of hair, and he's relentless to start, guzzling Faraon's throat on the top rope, just all over him in the short, direct primera stretching him a couple of times before the ref calls it (though none of his trademark punches; those will come later). Then, for good measure, he decides it wasn't enough and that he needed to find a glass bottle.

The ref tries to intervene and he does stall things just long enough for Faraon to get his windback. He sells beautifully here, staggering but less and less as he gets his balance. He has this great trademark way of moving where he slides down through the second and third ropes to get to Chicana more quickly, and after an attempt at it that fails, the second hits and he gets the bottle and gets his revenge. 

Eventually things make it back into the ring, and Faraon takes the segunda, but things go even again in the tercera, with Chicana firing back with some of the biggest, best sweeping punches you'll ever see. It all devolves to the floor and given the blood and chaos and mayhem the ref calls it off to no one's satisfaction. You get the sense this led to an even better match but at least we've not got to see this one in full.

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Pirata Morgan, Killing So His Power Grows

Pirata Morgan, Satanico, & MS-1 vs. La Fiera, El Faraon, & El Egipcio EMLL 3/29/1985 - EPIC

Damn, that was violent. I've had the chance to see Pirata in a bunch of different settings thanks to this project, but at the end of the day, he's still a guy at his best working out-of-control lucha brawls, and this here was an out-of-control lucha brawl. He starts right out by punching El Egipcio in the face when he tries to get in the ring. Egipcio returns the favor, and their brawling is sort of the big hook throughout this match (unsurprising, as they were building to a hair match between the two). I've seen a handful of Egipcio matches now, but this is the first time he's actually stood out to me. And yeah, that's probably because he was booked so prominently in the match, but when you're throwing hands with Pirata and look like you're actually in his league, I'm inclined to think you're doing something right. They pave a nice little path of destruction through the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is any good Infernales brawl, including some great brawling around the ring where Pirata wins the award for most violent apron bumping now and forever, actually breaking the wooden barricades surrounding the ring. Satanico and the recently deceased MS-1 lend some very able support. Satanico in particular almost stole the match from Pirata and Egipcio. Phil said he looked like the abusive husband in a Lifetime made-for-TV movie, and I'm hard-pressed to disagree. Fiera and Faraon maybe perform below expectations insofar as they don't stand out the way they usually do, but you'll be too busy in awe of the Infernales' brutality to notice. Although you will notice at the end of the match when Fiera uncorks a "Hector Garza under-rotating on a shooting star press to the floor"-level horrifying botched dive. He comes off of the top rope with essentially a completely vertical upside-down bodypress to Satanico, except he lands just short of the target and Martinetes himself on the floor. Ouch. Surprisingly, for a brawl this intense, there actually wasn't any blood, but I don't suspect you'll find too many bloodless brawls better than this one.

Pirata Morgan, Antifaz del Norte, & Charly Manson vs. Sangre Chicana, Alebrije, & Vampiro Canadiense Monterrey 5/21/2006 - GREAT

This is a big step up from the last Monterrey match I reviewed for this. There are still some annoying heel ref shenanigans, but he eats a Sangre Chicana armdrag really nicely, so I can't really complain too much. Also, there's no Hator in sight, and everyone looks really game here, even a load like Vampiro. This is a garbage brawl, and like most lucha garbage brawls, it feels less violent than it does when they leave the foreign objects alone, especially after the match above. But it's still on the higher end of your lucha garbage brawls, with Alebrije in particular looking like a star here. He eats and bumps for everything really well, including getting his head taken off with a nasty clothesline from Pirata, and taking some nutty bumps on the wooden ramp to the ring. And there's plenty of fun abuse of Cujie as well, with Pirata putting the little guy in a Romero special, before he's used as a projectile by Alebrije to get his revenge later. I thought Antifaz looked really good here as well. His foreign object shots all had some nice pop to them. This wasn't a standout Chicana performance, but I don't think I've ever seen a match where he looked bad, and this is no exception. If nothing else, he clotheslined a wooden board into Antifaz's face. That was pretty cool. I'm a little iffy on the finish, but I admire the gusto with which Pirata faked his getting fouled, especially after the ref didn't believe him right away and he started to sell more frantically.

Pirata Morgan, Emilio Charles Jr., & Astro de Oro vs. Rayo de Jalisco Jr., Mascara Ano 2000, & Cien Caras EMLL 1989 - FUN

This was a one-fall tournament match, but it's a four-team tourney, so they still get 10+ minutes and I can review it, just with lowered expectations. It's also apparently a parejas increibles tournament, as Rayo is not getting along with the Dinamitas, and Astro de Oro is not getting along with Pirata and Emilio. I am not familiar with this Astro de Oro character, so I checked out luchawiki to see what his deal was.

"Greatest Guatemala superstar. Tecnico, who teamed with Rayo Lazer, Skeletor, Starman (Guatemala), Silverman, Arriero de San Juan. Astro de Oro received 50 Quetzales in his first match.

His best match was versus Mascara Ano 2000 in June of 1989, and his worst was against Dr. Wagner Jr.. Astro de Oro's favorite wrestler is Ric Flair.

In his other life, Astro de Oro is an educator. Astro de Oro also claims to be a very successful amateur wrestler before entering lucha libre.

Greatest Guatemala superstar"

Well that clears that up. I don't know when exactly in 1989 this match was in relation to his career best match against Mascara Ano 2000, but I don't remember any especially great exchanges between the two. Overall, the greatest Guatemala superstar didn't make me forget Super Astro or Brazo de Oro, but he was harmless. Pirata and Rayo were the best guys on their respective teams, and their work against each other was plenty fun and fired up. Emilio looked good, but you'll see much better from him, and the Dinamitas were solid but unspectacular. Still, Rayo doing his comedic evasive twirl face-first into Pirata's fist with nobody else fucking anything up will at least earn this FUN status. In conclusion, greatest Guatemala superstar.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE PIRATA MORGAN

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