2022 Ongoing MOTY List: Darby vs. Hardy

19. Darby Allin vs. Matt Hardy AEW Rampage 9/14 (Aired 9/16)

ER: A lot gets written about how broken down and immobile and even irrelevant the Hardy Boyz currently are, but I can't think of ever not having love for two completely chaotic fucked up backyarders who publicly thrive and fail and endure in constantly entertaining ways. We would be so lucky if pro wrestling had more disorder. I don't want to watch a ring full of gamers, I want to watch guys who have a real chance of wrestling great and suddenly dying in an accident tantamount to Billy Joe Travis in a tanning bed. The Hardy Boyz occupy this amazing pro wrestler spot far above Billy Joe Travis doing blow, more akin to the wealthy but physically broken and addiction-prone Jackass boys. I love those boys in Jackass enough that I unexpectedly cried during a theater viewing of Jackass Forever, watching these old bump freaks no longer able to take the same amount of crazy bumps, supplementing their legacy of falls by battering the absolute hell out of their dicks. They were smart enough to know to pivot away from the legdrop finisher until their hip and back were fucked beyond repair, but also too stupid to not fuck up their hip and back beyond repair anyway. And I love them for it. 

I love the Hardy Boyz in the same way. I almost always love every broken wrestler that way. 1990s Andre is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, an era of a man that fills me with passion every time I watch one of the 90s Andre matches I keep saved for rainy days. The Hardy Boyz are slower and broken and now Matt is getting publicly divorced and I saw someone compare their mobility to Rankin-Bass Christmas special characters. Brutal. But put modern broken Matt Hardy - who gets to his feet like Super Porky in his 50s - in a match with the greatest fusion of Jackass and Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 and it's everything I want in pro wrestling. 

Darby gets his spine worked over and does that think where he realistically horrifically injures his spine several different times. Hardy moves like a retired power forward but has a way of ending strings of broken movement with explosive impact. He takes a bump back of head first into the ring steps and seems to make it his mission to wreck Darby's spinal cartilage. Darby misses a coffin drop onto the apron and Hardy runs him into the ringpost with a powerbomb and the damage Hardy wreaks is righteous. Hardy playing his greatest hits louder and heavier plays so well to me. His splash mountain bomb, his side effect, pulling Darby out of the corner with a sitout powerbomb, it all hits heavy and negates any loss of speed. He really looks like he's destroying Darby and there's few wrestlers in history I have loved getting destroyed the way I love Darby. Matt Hardy's missed moonsault is a great piece of bravado, a too high risk by someone who can't be taking those kind of risks that he knows has never lead to a finish. Darby Allin is someone who knows how to utilize a successful backslide, and Matt Hardy is a tough guy who looks highly susceptible to backslides and leveraged pins. His Last Supper is a convincing pinfall hold against any wrestler, but against Matt Hardy I fully bought that it stretched his aged hamstrings tight enough that a kickout never crossed my, or his, mind. 

2022 MOTY MASTER LIST