Borga & Boogie: A Tale of Nordic Strongmen

Tony Halme vs. Boogie Commando  FWF Super Star Wrestling 7/27/97     Pt. 2     Pt. 3 - GREAT

ER: Tony Halme was a fascinating guy, and had one of the coolest careers of any human in history. But you might not know that he worked shows for a Finnish outlaw mud show promoter! Halme essentially ran backyard wrestling shows with three other bodybuilder/strongman types. Four huge jacked Finnish guys who all looked like slightly different versions of each other decided they didn't want to start Finland's version of the Power Team, and instead of tearing phone books in half for Christ they opted to wrestle outdoors in front of a couple hundred people, everything set up on grass. 

Boogie Commando was one of the other bodybuilders (there was also one with a Viking gimmick because obviously one of the four Nordic strongmen was going to be working a Viking gimmick). This is Boogie Commando's retirement match, and he comes out to Van Halen's "Jump", wearing short jean cutoffs and a tactical vest over his gassed physique and yellow/black striped wrestling singlet. The tactical vest comes off, but the cutoffs stay on. He is wearing an ammo belt and looks like if WCW had added a beefcake stripper to High Voltage. He hands out 8x10s to the crowd during his long entrance (I guess it was give them to the crowd or have a box of 8x10s taking up space in your house during your retirement). He poses in the ring for the entirety of Jump, makes small but aggressive rolling pelvic thrusts at the crowd, and when Jump ends they just start it over while he continues to walk around inside the ring, thrusting. A Finnish woman says some things that seem to be about Boogie Commando, and we can assume she was listing accomplishments and talking briefly about his retirement, as the fans keep politely clapping while wondering if they're going to hear Panama and the rest of 1984's A side or just a third run through of Jump.  

While fans are distracted thinking about their prospects of hearing Hot For Teacher, Halme just walks out wearing a white USA tank top (curious) and sweat shorts, Finnish house music replacing the chunky squawky guitars that American teen boys and Northern Europeans love. He looks exactly the same as his Ludvig Borga run other than sporting a now completely shaved head. He gets the microphone and speaks quickly and angrily into it. I have no idea what he said, but it sounded incredibly threatening. His face wore the seething expression of a man explaining to terrorists how he's going to get his teen daughter back. However, his threats/well-wishes get an enthusiastic reaction from a group of girls in the crowd, who have short fashionable haircuts and beers. 

The match is a sincere warts and all look at the late 90s Finnish backyard bodybuilding wrestling scene, and has a weird shoot element due to Halme's permanently angry face and Boogie Commando appearing to be non-trained (but also the champ, on a show with only this match). The ring is low and has no give, and you better believe that the Finnish house music Halme walked out to will continue for the duration of the match. This certainly felt like bodybuilders doing wrestling, and it was a really entertaining version of bodybuilder wrestling. Boogie had a couple of powerslams and some preposterous dropkicks that looked like first attempts. Halme sidestepped one and sent Boogie crashing fairly recklessly into the corner, and Halme flat out ignored another one. The dropkicks are a reasonable facsimile of what most pro wrestling trainers see on the first day when they ask "okay who wants to try a dropkick?" But what FWF champion Boogie Commando might have lacked in dropkick ability, he made up for by running neck first into a very stiff Halme clothesline. The ropes break while Halme runs his full weight into them, and from here there are several moments where Halme appears to step through the ropes to offer to fight fans...or maybe tell jokes? It's hard to gauge what is being said when you're basing your guesses on the reactions of pale backyard wrestling skinhead fans in bomber jackets. 

There are round breaks, and the second round seems to end when Halme just decides the round is over because he needs water. There is no bell, Halme just waves off the ref and walks to the ropes, signaling to a woman at ringside for water. Both men look completely gassed at this point, with Halme putting his hands on his knees several times and Boogie leaning chest first so heavily on the turnbuckle pads that it looks like he's falling asleep. With the ropes no longer an option, the entirety of the match is two gassed hulks lifting each other and slamming each other onto an unforgiving mat. And I can't see a scenario where that won't ever be really cool? Boogie hits a heavy Samoan drop that knocks the wind out of Halme, Halme keeps knocking Boogie off his feet with brutal body shots and kneelifts. Halme torches his elbow on a high missed elbowdrop and Boogie hits a sincerely great elbowdrop of his own. The slams all look painful, with Halme's waterwheel suplex a highlight. We also get a long Halme STF that Halme appeared to improvise once he saw Boogie Commando was too tired to get off the mat, and had in fact rolled over onto his stomach to rest in the middle of the ring. 

Boogie loses his title, poses for pictures and signs autographs for fans (even signing the forearm of a man in his 40s, by request). And, while saying his final goodbyes to the world of Finnish backyard wrestling, we get to hear Jump a couple more times. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE TONY HALME