2020 Ongoing MOTY List: Big E vs. Sheamus Falls Count Anywhere

25. Big E vs. Sheamus WWE Smackdown 10/9

ER: What a couple of psychos. This was a falls count anywhere match that played like Big E and Sheamus somehow saw Yard Call and wanted to do their own version of it. Except do it in the middle of a pandemic, without a crowd surrounding them and urging them on. No, this was just two guys hitting each other as hard as they could with weapons for 10 minutes, like neither had heard of the concept of pulling your shots. This lost any pretense of "wrestling match" within the first minute, and once Big E crashes Sheamus to the floor with the out of ring spear (how crazy do you have to be to not only still be regularly using that move, but using it with no live crowd?!?), this was two guys hitting each other with disgusting weapon shots. Sheamus and Big E were beating each other up so bad that you'd think Big E was refusing to wear the special glasses Sheamus wanted him to put on. 

These might have been the sickest Singapore cane shots I've seen, with Sheamus tying Big E's arms in the ropes before hitting him in the ribs as hard as he could, and Big E paying him back by welting most Sheamus's back. Sheamus had a wide bruise going from the back of one arm, across the broadest part of his back, and off the other arm. They break brooms over each other's heads, Big E beats Sheamus with a trashcan that doesn't really give, then runs him hard into a concrete wall before scraping him out a door. These hits looked nastier the more they did them, as every fall looked painful, every hit looked as hard as the first, and they were doing this with only a ref and cameraman around! This is among the sickest most inspired teenage backyard matches in their willingness to kill each other for no live crowd gratification. They do a lot of great things in and out and off of cars, including some sicko car bumps. Big E takes a White Noise on the windshield of a car, and Sheamus takes a powerbomb on a car windshield and slides off to the concrete; Big E gets his hip and legs slammed in the car door, and I loved the spot where he got his leg up to keep Sheamus from slamming his arm in the trunk. By the end Big E has cuts on his legs, Sheamus has cut up elbows and dark welts, and you know this whole thing would have played great at the Zone 23 junkyard. 

PAS: It is pretty crazy the amount of punishment wrestlers are willing to take in these sterile audienceless gimmick matches. I wasn't going to watch War Games but the clips I saw looked nuts, and I wasn't going to watch TLC but I can imagine the dumb shit they did there. This had a bit of random WWE weapon brawling in it, but it got pretty nasty pretty quick with the Kendo stick shots. They were really on the "Sandman canes Mikey to make Woman cum" level of violence (Rest in Power Nancy) and Sheamus's seal white body is a great wrestling special effect, it really accentuates every welt and cut. They really shouldn't have done the white noise on the windshield to set the match up, as it took a little of the steam off seeing it a second time, still totally nasty stuff, and both guys were smearing blood all over the hoods of the cars after the match. Uncalled for stuff, for something which was basically forgotten the next day, but we didn't forget it. 

2020 MOTY MASTER LIST