2019 Ongoing MOTY List: Goldberg vs. Undertaker

34. Goldberg vs. Undertaker WWE Super Showdown 6/7

ER: I hadn't planned on watching any of Super Showdown, not because I was taking any moral stand against Vince's buddy Mohammad bin Salman, but more because I was taking a stand against a wrestling card that didn't have matches I was interested in seeing. But as the event approached I found myself undeniably interested in Goldberg/Taker. Now, for the most part I have not enjoyed any of the propped up Corpse Taker matches over the past decade (outside of the legitimately great Lesnar match from a few years ago), and Goldberg has been barely even a wrestler since his mid 30s. But I've always been a big fan of Goldberg, and I adore old man wrestling matches, and believe it or not these two have NEVER matched up in a pro wrestling match! That seems impossible, that WWE had Goldberg hanging around an entire year and never ran this match. But they didn't, and instead we get it for the first time when both men are old, broken, and running on fumes in the name of Mohammad bin Salman. You know, the biggest Jewish wrestling star in history just main eventing a show in the notoriously Jew-friendly Saudi Arabia. Goddamn this show is fucked. So these two old mules go out and fight for mule supremacy, and I kind of loved it.

I hated that I loved it but I just love old dudes stiffing the hell out of each other in a wrestling ring. For my obit you can just shorten that to "He loved stiff old men", put it right on my tombstone. This whole thing was laid out as expertly as you could lay out a match between two legends, and with old guy matches the errant blows and sandbagging play to a match's strengths for me, play into the inherent vulnerabilities of two broken down bags of meat. It's a different side of a much more expensive Randy the Ram coin. There's main eventing VFW's and selling fewer and fewer polaroids, and then there's main eventing King Abdullah Sports City Stadium for wheelbarrows filled with cash. Either way it's an ugly look for the business, but at least a couple of old guys are getting compensated for their death stunts. And my oh my were there death stunts.

This was my favorite kind of old man match, where the two recognized their lack of gas tank and speed, and increased the stiffness and danger to balance it all out. Every shot Goldberg threw looked great, all his punches and especially his stomach kicks looked like he was gearing up to work a Futen anniversary tag. Starting with that big spear was an awesome moment; Goldberg can still make the spear look like a kill shot, and knowing the show was being booked for a 33 year old who was apparently a huge wrestling fan when he was 14, the opening nearfall worked because it's not crazy to think that an agent went "Look the prince remembers loving Goldberg spearing Glacier and Wrath and Reese when he was a teen, just do that and end it in 30 seconds. Also, why didn't we get Glacier?" And it sets up a fantastic spot where Goldberg misses a spear into the corner and busts his head open hitting the ringpost. Goldberg really committed to nailing that spear and committed even more to missing the spear. He really made his miss look like something that was going to hit, and that's a talent not many have. You would think Goldberg getting color from flying head first into a ringpost would be the craziest thing to happen in  a match featuring two men a couple years away from getting the senior discount at Arby's, but you would be wrong. Instead Taker drops Goldberg on the top of the head with a gnarly tombstone. It gets a great nearfall, and Goldberg pays him back nicely by dropping Taker on his head like he was Shinya Hashimoto facing an unknown karate guy, truly one of those great "botches making a match even better". I also really genuinely liked Goldberg falling over trying to tombstone Taker, no matter the actual reason he fell over. Old guy, tired out, bleeding out of his head off a nasty shot to the ringpost, the idea of them working a series of silly 69 reversals would have been horrible. Instead you get him collapsing and then Taker dropping him in the grave with a chokeslam, made tons of sense as a finish. These two beat the hell out of each other, nothing but stiff shots the whole way through, laid out wonderfully, with some insanely memorable moments. I flat out loved this.

PAS: I thought this was unreservedly great. Total spectacle with a bunch of well executed big moments, and some moments that weren't as well executed, but awesome in their sloppiness. The opening big spear by Goldberg looked awesome, and set up the Undertaker sit up great. I loved the awkward kneebar, as RINGS Goldberg was always my favorite Goldberg. I thought the missed spear was super nasty looking as was all the blood (I guess Goldberg legit concussed himself with that move, but it still worked great in the context of the match) Taker and Goldberg were both throwing potatoes, I imagine the need to deliver a receipt led Taker to actually look like a great striker as opposed to someone playing one on TV. Goldberg obviously couldn't get Taker over for the Jackhammer, but a dead drop Hashimoto brainbuster is a cooler spot anyway. I actually liked the finish with Goldberg collapsing while trying the tombstone, and kind of sandbagging the chokeslam. It worked with the idea of an old guy losing a ton of blood gassing out when his big shot failed. Cool wrestling story, even if it was legitimately an old guy gassing out when he cracked his head.


2019 MOTY MASTER LIST