Segunda Caida: Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 23: Family First

ER: My gosh you guys! Fenix and Melissa Santos are getting steamyyyyyyyy. They were acting like cute high school kids, with Fenix cruising up in his custom Camaro (I have to imagine the highway patrol would not recommend driving in a mask, as your peripheral vision is of utmost importance on the road) and suddenly the garage gets super windy as Melissa's hair swoops around. These wild eyed kids.

TL: I think what makes this unbelievable to me is that Fenix would drive that type of car, although it does vibe with Eric’s description of literally every movie we grew up watching depicting high school romance. If Fenix was wearing a jean jacket, I would have thought it was too on the nose. Marty is still psychotic, don’t you know. Don’t get why you have to bang your head through glass to prove it, but there you have it. Psychotic Marty Martinez. Psychomoth. Okay, how come he wasn’t just Psychomoth from the start?!? Shoutouts to Melissa for the wardrobe change before the opener.

1. Vinny Massaro vs. Cage

ER: Glad to see Massaro in an actual match, and it was a fun one. Vinny has always been able to crack a jaw with a forearm, and he blasts Cage a few times here. Cage is a beast and leans in to everything, all of Vinny's lariats and elbows, and throws back. Vinny works in one of my favorite spots from his old trainer Mike Modest, when Cage tries to slingshot him back in the ring Vinny just lets go of the ropes and gives Cage an eyepoke (Modest would usually throw a forearm). But Cage catches a lariat and slams Vinny on the apron. I liked Vinny's hope comeback and liked how the Temple crowd was getting into it. Naturally he goes for the Power Glove, misses, and Cage spikes him with the screwdriver. Postmatch Vinny gets busted open and chokeslammed from the ring to the floor. Vinny does not do well in Lucha Underground post match.

TL: Vinny Mass out here taking it to Cage and getting some offense in! He lights up Cage a bit with some nice forearms and then even gets a nice STO. With Cage basically on one leg, this is at least fun, especially to see Cage power through it to make some of this stuff work. Vinny took some pretty sick bumps, including the aforementioned chokeslam, where he really took a nasty fall. So sad to see the pride of Sicily go so soon.

TL: I’m now starting to see what Eric was talking about with these voiceovers, as the cheesiness is definitely apparent. Mundo going the full Johnny Lawrence is inspired, though.

2. Marty the Moth Martinez vs. Saltador

ER: Not loving how Saltador-heavy this match was, as working the LSD gimmick basically just means a sorta boring wrestler now also wrestles badly. It doesn't really work. And Moth isn't really a good style match for him, as they both brought out bad aspects of each other. It's fun watching Moth bump around for armdrags and run into a superkick, but he's a big guy and I like him more against other big guys. Here instead of throwing bombs and big bumps he broke out a bunch of indy offense, like a big silly chokeslam into his own knees while he takes a back bump. That stuff is almost always dumb. The powerbomb into the railing was sick, but didn't seem to mean anything to the context of the match.

TL: Saltador going full on tripped out World of Sport chain wrestling madness is going to get a win from me, even if I’m not a big fan of the mind games shtick. I get the disconnect Eric is talking about, but at least he’s playing up to the gimmick. Striker playing up the sensuality and Marty getting turned on by the violence just makes me shake my head, though. This match made me feel a bunch of different weird ways. It had some decent Marty offense. And the postmatch stalker collage is a bit much, but hey, character development!

3. Pindar vs. Mascarita Sagrada

ER: Pindar was a good choice for this match, as I'm both excited to see him advance (although I was half expecting them to let Sagrada advance improbably far in this tournament) and get more singles matches, but he's also a good base for Sagrada's insanity. Throw all logic out the window and just accept that a super sturdy guy is going to be taking flip bumps for a 60 pound man. Sagrada hits a nutso flip dive rana through the ropes and slaps Kobra Moon. Vampiro - I assume quoting Trump at a recent campaign rally - says he "slapped the bitch out of her". Pindar hits him with a stiff yakuza kick and an amusing flapjack cutter. Pindar was also benevolent enough to not recklessly destroy the little guy.

TL: Pindar continues to be one of the best bases in LU history by being right there for all of Mascarita’s offense and hitting some really nice power offense. He even does the damn Harley Race/Brock Lesnar high knee bump in the corner and I am all in. The Sagrada tope suicida con Dragonrana is an insane spot. And then he does the rope walk diving rana to the outside. The Pyramid Driver into the flapjack to finish by Pindar was ridiculous. This was very fun professional wrestling to watch.

4. Mariposa vs. Fenix

ER: This is probably the best showing in LU for Mariposa, which is a sentence that probably nobody cares about. Vampiro says "Mariposa has been beaten down all her life," which...is not something that has ever actually been implied in any of the Mariposa sketches. I assume Vampiro does not actually watch these shows. But Mariposa looked good, and Fenix is a nut getting spiked on a tornado DDT. Mariposa gets a nice rana to the floor, but really the match was pretty inconsequential. Moth comes out after and Fenix hits a wild dive on everybody.

TL: Mariposa seems extremely underutilized when Sexy F’n Star is getting all that run and she shows again why in this match, pulling out some fun as all hell offense and going toe to toe with Fenix with the highly contrived lucha sequences. I like that she got a bunch of offense in at least, but it was a sudden finish. Bleh way to end just to get to that dive.

ER: Is this tournament going to take place over the rest of the season? Tying up 32 guys like this seems like a really bad idea. I'm sure things will pick up a bit once we get through these first round matches, but we still have EIGHT first round matches to go. That's just too much. And tying up this much time on a cup that looks as silly as that really shows a major lack from the props department. Is this whole thing literally for just a title shot? Dario has stopped random matches to give title shots before. Now he wants to tie up 3 months of TV to reward one? This ranks right at the bottom of Dario ideas.

TL: Quick math shows that they have to go two more weeks for the first round, two more weeks for the second round, then maybe one more week for the third round? So five weeks at least? That’s a lot of tournament to watch, and I love me some tournaments. This might be a chore, though. We’ll get through this, my friend. Together.