Segunda Caida

Phil Schneider, Eric Ritz, Matt D and occasional guests write about pro wrestling. Follow us @segundacaida

Monday, September 26, 2016

DVDVR Puerto Rico 80s Set: Carlos Colon & The Invader vs. Los Pastores (Ambulance Match) (12/21/85)

Disc 1: Match 14: Carlos Colon & The Invader vs. Los Pastores (Ambulance Match) (12/21/85)

I'm not even entirely sure what to do with this. To begin, it's amazing. It's just wonderful wrestling spectacle and a beautiful and appropriate way to end the disc. It feels like something that could only exist in Puerto Rico. It's not really a conventional match by any means. Realistically, I should be ranking the disc at this point, but I'm going to duck that for now, precisely due to "matches" like these.

The Sheepherders had a reign of terror in Puerto Rico, injuring people, insulting the natives, causing havoc. This was them getting their comeuppance and being driven out of the territory. It was about the most definitive version of such a thing that I've ever seen and past certain key title changes or hair matches, this could possibly be the happiest a crowd has ever been sent home in wrestling.

It's not really much of a match. There's not much of a sense of danger for the babyfaces. They get worked over for a few minutes and then some of those poor souls that the Sheepherders had injured come back and beat them with weapons for about three times longer than the match had been at that point. It's basically a bloody tarring and feathering (but not a literal one, save for the blood part).

The crowd goes absolutely nuts for all of this, with the very best moment, and maybe the best single moment on Disc 1 being someone in the crowd swiping at Luke and a security guard with a big stick threatening him. Holy crap. I think in front of most other crowds, the sheer length of this would have almost made the Sheepherders sympathetic. I was feeling bad for them by the end. That wasn't a worry here though. This was as one-dimensional as it gets, but it's a dimension you'll never forget.

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