Paragon Pro Wrestling 11/14/15 Review

We only got two of these babies left! That's only 21 weeks total. It feels like I've done more. Maybe after this I go back to NXT reviews, going ALL the way back to the beginning of what's on WWE Network. Yeah that will put me far behind everybody with zero chance to catch up, but I want to see how shit develops. But that's for the future, for now I'll remain barely focused on PPW.

1. Amerikan Gunz vs. Wes Brisco & Jessy Sorensen

This was a match. Jessy got jumped backstage the previous week. Or so they say. I have zero actual recollection of this happening. Apparently it was a mystery assailant. Something tells me this mystery won't be wrapped up by next week's final episode. So Sorensen works a knee injury the whole match, and he does a good enough job, limping all around and fighting the odds, you know. That stuff. Gunz alternate weeks looking forgettable one week and like the surest hands in the fed the next. This was somewhere in the middle. Possible that it depends on the opponents, but I've seen them look good against bums before. So yeah. This happened.

2. Chamberlain vs. The Man They Call Exile

Exile is wearing a duster on the way to the ring. Of fucking course Exile is wearing a duster. Just a duster, wifebeater and pleather pants. Good name for Exile's nemesis: "Network elects to not extend contract to Paragon Pro Wrestling - Effective Immediately". I just can't wrap my head around why a man is named Exile. It would be halfway amusing during a battle royal, if every time he eliminated somebody he told them that they were exiled from his ring, the ring of Exile. But his name cannot be more straightfaced than they're using it. "The Man They Call Exile". Who are They, and Why are They calling this man Exile? Is there a definition of the word that I don't know? Vocabulary isn't my strongest suit but it doesn't seem like a word that can be simply misunderstood. Did he just think the name sounded cool? Mysterious? Dangerous? If a friend was to get a new dog, and name them Exile, you can bet that most people who heard the dog's name would first respond by saying, "Exile??", as if they possibly misheard the name, to which the dog owner would reply "Exile," and the friend would then reply, "Oh," and then likely follow it up with, "Why?" or "What does that name refer to," or ,"Oh that's what I thought you said before, but I assumed I had heard wrong due to what a stupid name for anything needing a proper noun." But no, the announcers just call him Exile. They've even talked about other places where he has worked! But never mention if he was exiled from those places or not.  Chamberlain's strikes looked lousy. Exile just kinda lied there. A real cold fish. He hits a nice powerslam, so that's not nothing.

3. Hammerstone vs. Gangrel

 According to the announce crew, Hammerstone "lived up to his name" in the last match. I...have no clue what that could possibly mean. Hammerstone made Gangrel look really good in this match, planting himself on the Impaler, dumping himself on a German suplex, splatting on a bulldog. Gangrel is fairly slow now but Hammerstone made him look like he had effortless strength. This was oddly one of Hammerstone's better showings, although maybe it was a bit too generous of a performance. Remy Marcel interferes leading to Gangrel's win, meaning they're building to the FIFTH showdown between Whirlwind Gentlemen and Hammerstone/Chamberlain. Will we get that as our final match of the show's run? Seems only fitting.

4. Caleb Konley vs. Wes Brisco

Brisco has the ribs taped up and is doing a halfway decent job of selling them. And this match is actually really good! Maybe the best singles match in PPW's long illustrious history. Konley goes after the ribs the whole time and Brisco is a curiously strong salesman. Kicks, punches, bearhugs, body vices, all targeting Brisco's ribs. Brisco has some nice moments of fighting back from his knees, desperately lashing out to try to stop the onslaught. The only explanation I can think of is that Brisco is a method actor, and he drew upon the expressions of all of his numerous victims, with their pained faces, bodies damaged in innumerable ways, making last gasp desperation attempts at escape from their knees, fighting back against a violent, creepy attacker.