Fire Fundraiser: Andre the Giant vs. Bret Hart, 4/10/89

Andre the Giant vs. Bret Hart, Milan, Italy 4/10/89

So I had an anonymous donor give $20, but not have any clue what to request I write about. So he said to just "pick something good". So I decided to just search for some things I've never watched before and write about it. Earlier I watched a Portland match where they announced Andre being brought in, and I thought about Andre in Portland, and then I thought about Andre in general, and how much I love late career fairly immobile Andre (probably more than most human beings, likely more than most fans of Andre). So I saw he had a singles match with Bret Hart at one point, and lo and behold it is on the motherfucking internet. I never realized Andre worked Bret one on one, and I can't recall anybody talking about this match before so I was immediately intrigued...

And the match totally rules. Andre may have been fairly immobile but he surprised me with a lot of offense. Hart of course was really smart about getting Andre into position for things, and Andre was smart about building to things. I mean these two had this match down, so down that it's surprising they didn't work a whole circuit together. Match was built around Bret going hard at Andre, backing him into corners and trying to work body shots, trying to quickly hit his shots, until Andre would inevitably catch him, then we'd restart. Sounds simple enough, but man did it lead to some awesome moments. I love Hart actually locking up with Andre to start leading to Andre easily backing him into the corner and just squashing him with his body. It also makes a nice open for a Hart escape, as Andre is pressing in with the backside of his body. He goes for another squish and Hart moves, with Andre slamming himself hard into the buckles. Hart takes it to him with body shots, and Andre laughs menacingly - like Jaba the Hutt's laugh from the darkness when Luke is trying to rescue Han - before unleashing a big knife edge chop. Andre throws a great knife edge. I'm more familiar with his standard overhand chops, but his knife edges look beastly.

Sidebar: At this point I think we can all agree that Andre's Kentucky Headhunters muttonchops/black singlet was the coolest Andre look.

Hart keeps trying to attack the body, so Andre messes with him by nailing him with a mean headbutt, then standing on him while taunting the crowd, and then just sitting on him a couple times. Andre jawing with the crowd is really important to this match as it creates a couple believable openings for Bret, but this one was clearly the best: Hart dropkicks a just-turning-around Andre, and it's a great, forceful dropkick, and it sends Andre sprawling wildly backwards into the ropes. I had no idea Andre was still doing his great "caught in the ropes" spot this late in his career, and the set up for this one couldn't have been better. Crowd goes crazy for Andre getting stuck and Hart responds by wildly teeing off on Andre's giant dome. But then Andre gets an arm free, and Andre ripping his arm from the ropes and grabbing Bret by the throat looks amazing. And from here Bret gets crushed. Andre chokes him, locks on a smothering chinlock, gets caught in a bearhug, and Hart is great at looking like Andre was crushing the life out of him. Andre backs him in the corner again and another awesome moment happens when Andre goes low for a shoulderblock, and Hart times it perfectly and knees Andre right in the face!

And then we go into the glorious end run, which is indeed glorious. Bret gets his second win and starts wildly teeing off on Andre with any strike he can land, hitting hard kidney shots while Andre is staggering, kicking him, going after the body, Andre finally looking like he's reeling...and then he nails another headbutt. Hart goes down and Andre hits a fucking soccer kick to Bret's ribs!! Andre uses his awesome pulling strength to send Bret into the ropes, but Bret ducks a big boot and hits a shoulder tackle to launch Andre into the corner! Crowd is going crazy, Hart gets too overzealous and flings himself at Andre in the corner.....but Andre catches him by the throat and PLANTS Bret with maybe the earliest chokeslam ever. Andre casually walks to the middle of the ring, flexes his bicep while making an awesome Popeye face, and then just drops a ribcage crushing elbow on Bret for the win.

This match was so damn great. I can't believe I've never seen anybody talking about this. Go watch it. Watch it now.


***I'm probably sounding like a skipping record (like my Metal Health LP that awesomely skips during the first chorus of "Cum on Feel the Noize", so it just gets stuck perfectly on Kevin DuBrow yelling "Mooore moooore moooore") at this point but I'm still trying to raise money for my friend and coworker whose home burned down, completely disappearing every single one of her possessions. The donations have slowed but no matter, I still have plenty of neat requests to fulfill and WILL be continuing to fulfill them! I'm matching EVERY contribution and will continue writing above and beyond for those who donate. You donate $1? That's awesome. Whatever you can do, and then you get to make a request. This means SO MUCH to me and you all are making me so happy***