New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV 8/14/15 Review

1. Minoru Suzuki & Takashi Iizuka vs. Toru Yano & Kazushi Sakuraba (9/21/14)

This kind of thing is refreshing after getting so many weeks of Okada WORKRATE EPICS it's just nice to see a couple old shooters be cocks to each other in a completely inconsequential match. I mean...I'd obviously always rather watch that than long Okada matches, but stay with me here. You watch this to see how Suzuki acts around Sakuraba, and in that regard it delivered. You had Suzuki (to the shock of nobody) pulling rank on Sak and bullying him a bit, and Sak was kinda playing the wounded child. Suzuki does bully better than just about anybody, and it all built to Sak locking on an awesome kneebar while Suzuki was tied up in the ropes, and I just loved Sak maniacally locking it on while Suzuki writhed on the apron. Nobody cares about what Yano did in this and as I type this I've already stricken most of it from my memory. I did dig the finish as Iizuka gets the claw and Yano cuts him off with a kick to the balls and a snug roll up. Afterwards Suzuki laughs and spits at the camera and does a great exaggerated Vince walk to show off how his hurt knee isn't hurt even though it's hurt.

2. Kota Ibushi & Tetsuya Naito vs. AJ Styles & Tama Tonga (9/21/14)

Dug a lot of this (well, I mean, Naito is...well you know), Ibushi is easily one of the best flippers who - like Styles did years ago - has transitioned nicely into using those spots as a heavy. Tonga is the best lackey in the Bullet Club and he really needs to be featured more instead of duds like Archer or Davey Boy. He moves really cool, bumps big and works way more stiff that guys like Karl Anderson or (obviously) Archer. Styles gets a little too hammy with the bumps here but he and Ibushi work great together and I really dig the Styles/Tonga team. Ibushi always hits his flying offense impossibly on point, and yeah, nice to see some fresh faces on this show. I don't think I can write up another Okada main event (which was why I skipped last week's show).

3. KUSHIDA vs. Ryusuke Taguchi (9/21/14)

A flawed but fun match with the strengths outweighing each guy's weaknesses. We had some issues of convenient selling and some funny build, but the overall story worked for me. I don't really love either guy's personality but something clicked for me. It's possible my White Russian is doing the clicking for me, who knows. But I got into the leg work vs. arm work aspect, loved KUSHIDA kicking the hell out of Taguchi's arm to set up the Hoverboard Lock (which really is a great looking sub) and Taguchi going after the knee to set up the ankle lock. KUSHIDA does a lot of handspring offense and he snaps off handsprings more believably than anybody else in wrestling. I'm not sure what that means, exactly. Because handspring offense is almost universally idiotic. It's like someone being the best at plunging a toilet that they clogged. Or somebody being really good at scraping the black parts off of toast that he burned because he doesn't realize that the dial on the breakroom toaster IS A TIMER. TURNING IT UP DOES NOT MAKE IT HOTTER, IT IS A FUCKING TIMER. It is a set of heated coils which stay heated for a set amount of time based on what number the dial is turned to, but this guy is really good at making his burnt bagel somewhat edible. They do some roll ups that are entirely goofy but I had fun with them, I totally bought into the Hoverboard teases and certainly thought a tap out was coming, loved moments of Taguchi scrambling for ropes, and yeah. This was fine. This was fine pro wrestling. My time did not feel wasted.

Post match and Taguchi does an interview where he keeps saying something translated as "Oh my and Garfunkel"....which is weird. Is it like when religious people avoid saying the Lord's Name so they say something like Oh My Land or Oh My Stars? Is he just being a silly goofball? He kept saying Garfunkel and it was equal parts amusing and confusing.