Every Night Lawler Tells Himself "I Am the Cosmos, I Am the Wind"

Jerry Lawler vs. NY Mauler USWA 4/28/90 - GREAT

ER: Limited, simple match with a silly stipulation tacked onto the ending that Lawler makes completely work. This is Lawler after his mid '89 heel turn so he comes out and announces since technically he's only required to defend his title every 30 days, he's sick of working himself ragged putting his belt up all the time, so it's time to sign up for some easier competition. So Lawler signed a contract to fight some "jabroni" (is this the earliest recorded use of that term on a wrestling broadcast? I certainly don't remember anybody in the 80s sets getting called a jabroni) named the NY Mauler. Lawler is great here talking about how he's smarter than other jabronis, because the NY Mauler wears a mask. That means his identity would be hidden so that kids wouldn't be coming up to him on the street and calling him a loser every week. So the Mauler comes out and it's clearly Jimmy Valiant under a mask and Lawler is furious as he didn't agree to put up the title against Valiant. The match against Valiant is really fun and quite the testament to Lawler that he was able to work a compelling match and story with a near 50 year old Jimmy Valiant. Lawler makes Valiant look great and flies around for punches and generally puts over how off guard he was taken by not preparing for anything other than a jabroni. This goes the full 10 minute TV time with Valiant getting some close nearfalls (but Lawler always being too close to the ropes) and that's when it's revealed that there was some goofy new USWA rule that in a sudden death portion of a draw, that the first person TAKEN OFF THEIR FEET will lose the match. I've never heard of such lunacy, and Lawler is furious. But this is when the match gets fucking awesome as Lawler and Valiant are both great punching each other and staggering around and alllllmost falling over. For me the first 10 minutes were a fun time, but once we go into OT with the ridiculously stupid and ridiculous "first guy that falls over loses", I couldn't help but get way into it. Lawler was so awesome about falling and landing on the middle rope, barely avoiding the mat, not wanting to lose his title. It took an absurd concept and really engaged me.

PAS: Lawler is such a douche in his interview it is pretty amazing that he was such a beloved face. There was a youngster named Ben Jordan talking about getting a title shot and Lawler just comes out and stands right in front of him. I didn't get a ton out of the first ten minutes of this. Valiant has a lot of a charisma and I enjoy Lawler v. Broomstick, but there really wasn't much going on. I did love the goofiness of the sudden death period. It is a testament to Lawler that he pretty much invented a match formula on the spot. This feels like a blueprint for working this gimmick match, all of the creative weeble wobble near falls, the way Valient gets the win. I could see hundreds of matches being put together with this match as the basis. Still a goofball stip, but really well done.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE KING