TNA IMPACT WORKRATE REPORT 11/2/06

WHAT WORKED:

Hey they found a good use for Christie Hemme. She was really great as the girlfriend of two metrosexuals starting to fight at a frat party. “Cuu, cut it out. C’mon. I mean it. Cut it out. Stop you guys” Hemme was shockingly great in that role. The match this lead to was pretty fun too. I don’t think Sabin is good enough or smart enough to pull off disrespectful heel in ring. But AJ is really great at working as contemptuous guy. AJ worked really contemptuous with Sabin as guy trying to prove self. It’s an odd way to work a match with contemptuous face vs. upstart heel but it worked nicely. And the roll up finish was pretty fun.

ECCLESIASTES~!!! ECCLESIASTES~!! Holy shit am I enjoying Christian Russo. I mea Christian morality plays are the stuff that wrestling is built on. Stories of fallings. Stories of redemption. Tests of loyalties and faith. Those are the things that Russo never seemed to understand. And so you get this thing where in 2006 TNA I think I’m going to get to watch two Russo’s: the really shitty Russo who is all about surprises and shoots and the new, and the Christian Russo who understands that the important tales are those of humble struggle. Lust and Greed vs. honor, respect, dignity and THE TRUTH. The TRUTH which is credit to the MAKER. How will the Russo raised on the WWE reconcile with the Chiristian who understands that you can’t have Passion plays with WWF style weak heels? Anyways fuck I’ve hated all the shitty TNA over the top fake horror movie video packages….but 700 Club Ecclesiastes Sting video package gets a thumbs up. Is Sting going to fall prey to the temptations that come with the gold or will he remain humble knowing that without Him he is nothing.

WHAT DIDN’T WORK:

So while I dig the Christian Russo, there is also the Russo not concerned with the TRUTH of the Maker…the Truth of the everlasting, the only truth that should matter. There is the Russo who cares only for the false truths of the earth..There is the Russo of the shoot and the meaningless run in and the matches that aren’t about tests of faith but instead are about retrieving silly objects from poles. I’m not sure if the main event would have been better if the poles held the Spear of Longinus, the Chain of Job, the Arc of the Covenant, and the Straight Jacket of Ezekiel. But still.

Really if you’re going with that kind of Dungeons and Dragons match to “retrieve objects that you will bring into the next battle”, you cant’ have the face win the first two of the four objects. I guess if there were five poles (and five objects) then you could do that but having the face win first two objects kind of kills the match. What the face is going to come into next match with advantage having three of four objects? I’m not sure if I fully understand the concept anyway. Will Christian get DQed if he uses one of his opponent’s objects? I don’t mind Esau being booked as face opposite Jacob but this thing was both goofy and poorly put together.

“And the men of Sodom were very wicked, and sinners before the face of the Lord” What the fuck was that dance that Lance Hoyt did as part of his entrance? I mean what the fuck was that? Suddenly it’s a match between the top dancer on Chocolate Tuesdays and the top dancer on White Guy Wednesdays. Winner gets more filthy bills from Borash? Match itself wasn't very rhythmic or enticing. Truth is a two time champion why is he struggling so much to figure out the riddle of his own tag partner? yikes! The Battle for Borash match was bad. Entrance dance was un-Christian. Is fatback grissy? Is Lot's wife salty? What's up?

Wallstreet Robert Roode vs.Chris Daniels wasn't as good as Michael Wallstreet vs.Starblazer. In 1990 female corporate power carried a computer/word processor. She used that computer to taunt the low income blue collar men around her. In 2006 the evil that is female corporate power comes from the "creative class" and wields a pencil. The pencil taunts the low income men who work in cubicles stuck to their computers. So let me get this straight...Chris Daniels is "frustrated" because AJ Styles is so "focused" on the X division title that he wasn't paying proper attention to the match....a match that AJ Styles wasn't in...!!! Does that make any sense? You know the Bible is filled with stories of jealousy and disputes between friends and brothers. Stories that have been read for centuries because the motivations and behaviors make sense. People can identify with these stories. I don't know how you can read the Bible and be completely incapable of writing a "dispute between brothers" storyline that makes sense.