Found Footage Friday: KNOBBS~! SAGS~! DREW~! TAYLOR~! YAHAMA~! CHOSHU~! KIDO~!

Chief Yaqui vs. Karl Kowalski 1/30/50

MD: This is worth watching, but I suggest doing it on mute. It's a fake audience track with sound effects and Bill Stern being particularly irritating and racist. A joke a minute and none of them good (well the one about how the white man wouldn't have made it further west than Hoboken if their opposition all fought like Yaqui was pretty good). The action itself, while clipped, was pretty good! Yaqui had a thousand little tricks when it came to getting presumably crowd pleasing little shots in with both his hands and his feet. Kowalski was bald and had a greased head gimmick, maybe.

When they took it to the mat, it was pretty gnarly, actually, not that you'd tell from the commentary. They got tied up pretty bad once or twice with some fairly unique leglocks and counters. At one point, Kowalksi had him upside down after jamming a rolling leglock type move and was peppering shots into the side. The finish was Yaqui locking in a sort of deathlock and rolling with it to turn it into a bridging pin. I'd like to see either of them in literally any other setting than this, but we're beggars and not choosers when it comes to footage from 1950.

Yamaha Brothers (Kantaro Hoshino/Kotesu Yamamoto) vs. Riki Choshu/Osamu Kido NJPW 1/24/79 

MD: This has been hidden for a couple of years but it was definitely new to me. This card had Jose Estrada vs. Fujiwara and I want to see Super Medico vs. Fujiwara, but we won't dwell on that. Let's just be glad for what we have. This is about fifteen minutes, JIP, and while maybe a little formless and back and forth, the wrestling is good. Choshu and Hoshino trade armholds early, but it gets kind of wild when Yamamoto comes in and just slaps the life out of Choshu repeatedly. You sort of wish this was the Choshu of a few years later to fire back. In general, Yamamoto looks great here.

There's a moment later on where Choshu comes in hot and hits a couple of double arm suplexes in a row and looks great, but some of his other fiery stuff doesn't hit like you'd expect from him. Hoshino's a little tank, like you'd expect, high impact charges into the corner, some nice teamwork with Yamamoto, and he matches up well with Kido, as he would for years to come. At one point Kido comes in with a bunch of bodyslams and it's funny because you're expecting takedowns and what not. There were some fun moments with clear momentum shifts and parallels. Yamamoto misses a giant turn around flying body press as Hoshino fails to hold on to his opponent and gets wiped out by his own partner. The finish is a similar set up with Choshu and Kido crashing into each other off the ropes. There wasn't a bad exchange in this one, but I'm not sure it all came together to form a coherent whole.

ER: I don't believe I have seen any 70s Yamaha Brothers so I had no idea what the hierarchical dynamics would be when I started this, but I was only excited to see a match with four extremely short legged men. You couldn't find shorter legs in 1979, this was the match for that. I'm so used to Kantaro Hoshino as a junior that I forget he was more beefed up in his 30s, but even then he and Yamamoto are still clearly smaller than Choshu and Kido...so color me surprised at how much of this was dominated by the Yamaha Brothers. The idea of Hoshino dominating Choshu or even Kido just a few years later is preposterous, but this gem takes us to the point in time where the Yamahas easily and efficiently cut Choshu off from Kido for the first half, peaking with Yamamoto just rocking Choshu with punches like he was Kurisu (Kurisu wrestled Hector Guerrero on this card by the way and holy god does 1979 Hector Guerrero vs. Kurisu sound incredible). Yamamoto really comes off like a supreme badass every time he's in the ring. At one point he gets swarmed by Kido and Choshu and in mere seconds he winds up holding both of them by the jaw in headlocks, standing on the bottom buckle, threatening to remove their mandibles from their heads until Hoshino comes in and punches Choshu to the floor. The hierarchy was so damn different in 1979, which is why something like this showing up is such a treat.   

Drew McIntyre/Dave Taylor vs. Nasty Boys WWE 11/2307

MD: Look, if you're reading this, you're reading it to see what Eric has to say. I'm reading it for what Eric has to say. I included it to see what Eric has to say, and I'm sure that'll be here soon if it's not already. Let me say just a few things. My understanding is that the Nasties lied about the shape they were in and were there to show off in front of a bunch of their buddies in the front row. Knobbs comes out and hugs a bunch of people and Sags has a long talk with one kid. They're super over. They come out to a version of their song I'm not familiar with (I know the "We're the Boys; we're the boys... the Nasty Boys" one). This had a Janet Jackson rip off to start and sampled lines from Gorilla and the Brain. Big Nasty Boys chant to start too. 

And you know what, I kind of dug the first half. They had a ton of heft behind everything they did. Drew was demonstrative and working big. He called out Sags which... I don't get why but it was kind of funny. I could have absolutely seen them have a 2 year run as sort of ambassadors and doing high school things like the Bushwhackers; they were about the same age as the Sheepherders when they signed in the late 80s and they obviously knew how to work a crowd and come off as stars. It felt almost like watching the Freebirds in 92. The back few minutes were pretty rough though. After Sags hit the craziest pumphandle slam I've ever seen (I was kind of glad to see it since I always wondered what would happen if someone took a slightly higher angle on the drop, like a powerbomb, and now I know!) he sort of just stood around for Drew to kick him for a brief, very brief, bit of heat leading to miscommunication and then casually walked over to make a hot tag. Brutal stuff. And of course the finish didn't work at all. So not a lot of gas in the tank but that's not to say there wasn't any at all. 

ER: So this dropped just a few days before we wrote about it, and I didn't watch it until last night, but all I saw written about it was how the Nasty Boys were unprofessional sacks of shit who went up there completely out of shape and took advantage of poor young greenhorn Drew McIntyre and how Dave Taylor (in his second to last match in WWE) looked outraged on the apron and broke character to tell off the Nasty Boys. They showed up looking like complete shit to pop their weird Tampa friends and children of those friends, fucked up a young innocent boy with no Arab strap and embarrassing the business. For three days I've been picturing how the fucked up fat somehow the same age as me now unprofessional Nasty Boys were going to mess this kid up like a PG version of Ian Rotten vs. Peter B. Beautiful and when I finally watch it...

It's a totally professional kind of impressive match that's far better and more interesting than at least 75% of the dark tryout matches we've ever seen. Dark tryout matches have a ceiling of quality. They are 3-6 minutes. Sometimes you reach nirvana and get Vic Grimes vs. Erin O'Grady. I saw a 2003 Psychosis tryout match against Jamie Noble and it was fine. My friends and I weren't expecting to start our night with a Psychosis match and we were all excited and it was fine. He did the rope flip bump on the back of his head, and I still remember it 20 years later so that means It Worked. That's the ceiling for a dark trout match tryout, and this Nasty Boys tag was a good one.  

It was also a totally normal match and not a single thing looked out of sorts or unprofessional to my eyes, and honestly it made it look like the Nasty Boys would have been worth a shot as a team working house show undercards in 2007. This was a roster that had Jim Duggan and had just had Tatanka and Road Warrior Animal. I really liked each one of those runs and thought nostalgia Legends Contracts acts would be far more interesting if used in an All Japan Old Man style division instead of [camera pans to Faarooq saying Damn]. A Legends division (which shouldn't be titled and should just exist as a thing but they wouldn't be able to resist calling it a Legends Division) that would allow one of them to occasionally break out of the old man trios matches into a short feud with a younger wrestler would be a thing that would make me watch WWE television again. 

The Nasty Boys hadn't appeared on any kind of wrestling television in over 10 years and came out with a theme song I have never heard anywhere else before that sounded like a cut up Steinski break, and the fans in Tampa reacted. That's important. It's good to have acts on your show that get reactions, and then work for the next 5 minutes to sustain those reactions. I was made to believe that the Nasty Boys were goof off/jerk offs and instead they just got a crowd invested in a match the way Brett and Brian Major or John Morrison or The Miz 100% did not do 20 minutes later. I said I saw no moments of unprofessionalism or even sloppiness, and I mean that. Knobbs looked as fat as I've ever seen him and was wearing a XXXL Nasty Boys blouse but had several moments where I thought he was going to punish Drew and instead just worked like a good heavyweight. There was one moment where Drew was selling a shoulderblock too long and was sitting up instead of lying down for the elbowdrop Knobbs was waiting to hit, and when Knobbs shoved him back to the mat I thought for sure McIntyre was toast. Knobbs hit a big heavy elbowdrop, but it was not an unprofessional amount of weight. Have any of you actually watched the 1991-1993 Superstars and Wrestling Challenge matches? Toughen up. 

The toughest thing about this match was Sags lighting Drew up with chops that should have been enough to sign at minimum Sags and put him in a Mad Max team with Road Warrior Animal because tell me a 2007 Animal/Sags team doesn't actually sound cool. Jerome Saganowich would have looked and worked so much better in a revamped Road Warriors team than Droz or Heidenreich did. Based on his chops and his pump handle slam I see no real differences between 2007 Jerry Sags and 1993 Kensuke Sasaki. 

Dave Taylor is the person who didn't do enough in this match. I liked the way the Nastys kept him out of the match down the stretch with punches and elbows to knock him off the apron, otherwise he just placed out of strike exchanges that could have actually taken this match to Dark Tryout Match Nirvana. Brian Knobbs threw three unanswered punches to the side of Taylor's head and it was the perfect opportunity to show Knobbs what the locker room thought of him with a pair of uppercuts, but Taylor just took a hiptoss and stood on the apron the rest of the time. Drew showed good timing in feeding for a returning nostalgia act in what was actually the longest stretch of time he was in the ring in any of his WWF matches to that point. Drew was trusted to stay in the ring for an extra minute or two with two guys making a 10 year return, and he did great. His visual reaction to a hot tag is one of the little things he did that you could tell he was going to keep getting better. 

The finish was botched but was a split second from being a direct hit Beverly Brothers Wrestling Challenge intro level of exclamation point. Drew would have suffered a head injury and been given a role as the slow third Highlander. The Nasty Boys should have been signed. In 2007 would you have rather seen the Nasty Boys every few weeks, or Deuce & Domino? You know the answer, especially if it means Cherry got given a Lisa Langois Class of 1984 look instead. This was better than both Morishima matches and it wasn't close.