There Was a King, a Very Enchanted King

Jerry Lawler/Jimmy Valiant vs. Takashi Ishikawa/Great Kabuki AJPW 2/5/85 - FUN

ER: Lawler in Japan is so weird, somehow even weirder than Valiant. He feels so anachronistic here, in the way that Memphis often feels weird in a more solemn setting. Even his appearance is slightly off, as he comes out in tights that felt closer to something Rick Rude would wear than Lawler, not to mention the studded leather cross-chest straps holding his cape on. This is not a Lawler look I've seen more than twice. He worked less than 15 matches in Japan (Valiant worked less than 30), and the two of them were only there for this one week tour. And this match is weird. The crowd doesn't seem to know how to react to Valiant, laughing tentatively as he constantly talks on the apron (rooting on Lawler, talking to the ref, general cheerleading), but they react to Lawler like he's a big deal (he even gets a couple streamers in his intro). But the match is barely 8 minutes and they work it as if it was going 30. So we basically get 7 minutes of a match that was shaping up to be really cool, and then a finish that felt like someone suddenly shit their pants and they needed to get the hell out of there. 

Lawler works wristlocks with Ishikawa, and has a strike exchange in the corner with Kabuki that the camera mostly misses (seriously, who is cutting away while Lawler and Kabuki are striking??) when Lawler hits him with a right and Kabuki throws an uppercut that bounces Lawler to the center of the ring. The only real fire of the match comes when Lawler hits an insane top rope fistdrop (no idea how your aim and body restraint gets that perfect) and a couple more drop down ones, with some of the sweetest moments of Lawler shaking out his fast after each one. There's a neat touch I really liked, where Ishikawa broke up a pin by stomping the back of Lawler's head, and Lawler does an excellent sell of this stomp, the move that essentially keeps him from saving Valiant. Lawler really staggers around holding his head like he took the sickest rabbit punch - an accurate way to sell a nasty stomp from Ishikawa - and stumbles to tag out. The finish is what makes this match so perplexing, as you'd think they'd still be working another 10 minutes, but instead Valiant gets the tag, sort of takes a savate kick from Kabuki, then just quickly taps to a Boston crab. I don't get it. 

Jerry Lawler/Maria/Ashley vs. Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix/Melina WWF Raw 3/24/08 - FUN

ER: I think it says a lot about the abilities of Lawler and Santino that this was as entertaining as it was. This started as a bad Maria/Melina singles match that quickly ended with interference, and Lawler stepping up in jeans and a t-shirt to take another opportunity to punch Santino. Regal makes it into a trios, and it's Lawler and Santino working around several people who don't totally know where they should be. That Santino can actually properly sell a terrible beating from Ashley and Maria - two people who mostly did not know how to hit someone - while selling it within gimmick, is why he was so good. Lawler gets nothing but great shine here, sending Santino high up in the air with a great backdrop, then squaring up to hit a genuinely great standing dropkick for a man in his late 50s. 

The women's stuff was what it was, though it lead to one really good moment where Lawler had to consider whether or not to punch Melina in the face. This was intergender, so the two men didn't have to tag out, and Melina was literally asking for it. But Lawler instead sneaks a tag to Ashley, who throws her only good strike of the match once Melina turns around into her elbow. Santino has several actually funny stooge sells in a relatively short runtime, reacting to Maria and Ashley's light chops and slaps as if he were Maximo being tickled, or selling a Lawler atomic drop by duckwalking to tag out. The final payoff of the match is Santino walking into Lawler on the outside, where Lawler gets to throw his first punches of the match as Santino groggily attempts to escape into the crowd. Lawler is one of the few people in wrestling that has examples over the decades of elevating non-wrestlers in a fun match, and this was a fun look at Santino being one of those guys too. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE LAWLER