Andre is Funky, the Bellhop's a Monkey

Andre the Giant/Jim Duggan vs. Kamala/Missing Link Houston Wrestling 9/9/83 - EPIC

ER: Phil and I are obsessed enough with wrestling that we write about it literally every day. But I can't even imagine how much more obsessed with it I would be if I got to witness something like this, live. If you needed any kind of proof that The Missing Link was a tremendous pro wrestler, this match is all the proof you need. Next time you get into one of those tired Missing Link arguments, those arguments that crop up regularly, direct naysayers to this match and laugh as their mouth physically shuts. This was a wild Missing Link bumpfest, quite the pleasant surprise, Dewey. Right from the beginning of the match he misses a charge in the corner and the ring physically moves. I mean a ringpost shifts a foot and the ropes flop for a second and everyone in the ring has a brief "oh whoa okay" and Missing Link doesn't fly so insanely into the buckles the rest of the match. Instead, he finds a dozen other ways to get tangled in the ropes on his way to bumping headfirst on the apron to the floor, or flying quickly over the top to the floor. This could dangerously lead the way down a Missing Link rabbit hole and I think I've already accepted that as I typing this sentence. Link does all these great pratfall bumps that felt like the same kind of excellent pratfall bumps Berzerker was utilizing a decade later, only there was no overlap in bumps. Link took some big ones to the floor, hitting a ton of points of contact on the way down, getting hung up stomach first in the ropes, clonking forehead to apron, tons of great bump shtick. The crowd was noisy as hell the entire time, child me probably would have been sitting there in stunned silence the whole time. Everybody else in this does what you'd want them to do. Andre is magnetic as ever, loved him working bearhug spots with Kamala, the wild Ugandan chopping at Andre's big dome while I marvel that Andre is still up to Kamala's collar bones as Andre is on his knees. This match is maybe 70% overhead chops and heavy bumps, with Missing Link dancing his way throughout the whole thing slipping on banana peels. Modern wrestling has nothing close to a match like this, and that's a problem.

PAS: This was totally boss. I love King Kong vs. Godzilla matches and this threw in Mothra and King Ghidorah too. It's pretty crazy to see guys as big and menacing as Kamala and Link working as pinball bumpers, but with Andre and peak Duggan it makes total sense. Link was great, just a total bump freak, and his headbutt is a great offensive move as well. I also really liked Kamala as a big hitter who could stand and trade with Andre at least for a bit. 83 Andre could still work at a quick pace, and the pushed pace is what made this so much better then the Andre/partner vs. Studd/Bundy tags I watched at the Oakland Coliseum as a a kid. Four huge guys hurling at each other with abandon, a hot crowd cheering every blow, what a spectacle. This was on the same show as the JYD vs. Buzz Sawyer match we reviewed a couple of weeks ago (along with Dusty vs. Bundy and II vs. Butch Reed, Jesus I need a time machine) and that has to be one of the great shows of the 1980s.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE ANDRE THE GIANT