WWF 305 Live: Uncle Elmer! Big John Studd! Boss Man! Dusty!

Big John Studd vs. Uncle Elmer WWF MSG 8/10/85 - VERY GOOD

ER: Anyone who says the Hillbillies were not an insanely over act in WWF's main touring markets is an outright liar who has never actually watched any Hillbilly matches. Because on this night in 1985 there were 22,000 people packed into MSG and they lost their collective minds when Uncle Elmer made his comeback, and it was glorious. The whole match is a lot of clobbering and stomping, with Studd jumping Elmer the moment Elmer crossed the plane of the ring ropes. Studd clubs and stomps Elmer so much that Elmer isn't even on his feet until his actual comeback! Studd clubs him to the ground and then stomps away while Elmer rolls around in a daze, and when Studd drags Elmer to his feet (lifting him up by his overall straps), that's when Elmer starts clubbing Studd in the ears and throwing a couple great forearms to the chest, then hits a big avalanche in the corner. 

When Elmer calls for the powerslam the MSG crowd loses it, just an insanely loud crowd reaction for these Hillbillies. And just as Elmer is about to lift Studd, Heenan flies into frame and starts throwing stiff as hell shots at Elmer, and the crowd loses it all over again when Hillbilly Jim gets in the ring to punch Studd in the head as Elmer starts to choke Heenan. I immediately go to look up where the follow up Elmer/Hillbilly Jim vs. Studd/Heenan matches happened, and of course Elmer never had any kind of interaction with Studd OR Heenan after this match. WWF had this very bizarre habit during this era of using an MSG match for an angle to set up a molten hot return match, and then never cashing in on that return match in any way. This whole match was maybe 4 minutes (including the excellent post match Heenan involvement) and it is so weird to me that something this and a match this fun was sadly both angle AND blowoff. 

Big Boss Man vs. Dusty Rhodes WWF SNME 11/25/89 - FUN

ER: This was good but really should have been great. Instead it was a short match that served as more angle than match, bringing Sapphire from exuberant ringside Dust fan to Dusty's new manager and setting up a run of house show stips matches. There's a lot of Slick distraction, a lot of Boss Man and Slick yelling at Sapphire, and some fairly unnecessary arm work from Boss Man. But there are also several memorable exchanges. Every time they are throwing strikes is great, with nothing but exciting right hands from both. We got some nice flashes of young Boss Man's speed when he chased Dusty to throw him into the ringpost. Best moment of the match is a real beast of a kitchen sink that Boss Man buries in Dusty's belly. Boss Man's kitchen sink was so great that it would have made a believable finisher, and I love how Dusty bumped for it. There are a few fun big misses, like Dusty missing an elbowdrop and Boss Man missing an avalanche and winding up draped over the top ropes, but the schoolboy finish is incredibly weak. The match would have been way better if they had just brawled to a count out, and we didn't ever get another TV singles match between them. 

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WWF 305 Live: Mark Henry! Undertaker! Yokozuna! Uncle Elmer!

Uncle Elmer vs. Bigfoot WWF 7/29/85 - SKIPPABLE

ER: This is more of an on paper inductee into the 305 annals, if only because big ol' Uncle Elmer taking on the Sasquatch sounds like the thing of heavyweight pro wrestling dreams. Now, in reality, Bigfoot is Rip Morgan, whose size is generously upsized to make him seem like a larger threat (and they also upsize Elmer, as Gorilla outright says "I know he was announced at 412, but he's 7' tall and 500 pounds if he's an ounce"). Really, Morgan likes like a deflated Bruiser Brody, with legs that appear to be about the same size as mine. I'm an Elmer fan, but this is quick work. A couple of nice avalanches, a backdrop that Bigfoot flies into (I like the way they played it, as Bigfoot went for a sunset flip but Elmer just straightened at the right time, making it look like he just bucked the sunset flip attempt to his advantage), and a nice Elmer legdrop followed by Elmer just steamrolling onto him for the pin. Area Hillbilly Bests Bigfoot!


Yokozuna vs. Isaac Yankem DDS WWF Kuwait Cup 5/11/96 - FUN

MD: I feel like I really need to go back and watch whatever babyface Yoko is out there. When you combine his selling with his timing with his charisma, he's just an amazing presence. I don't think he could do too much for too long, but what he does do on this tour is constantly worth seeing. I think there's still a chance that a new Owen vs. Yoko match will show up. Yankem stalls and stooges for Yoko pretty well to begin and has the great punches when he does take over. They repeat the punches on a second attempt to cut off a Yoko comeback but he ducks it to set up the finish. Nice little wrinkle that is smarter than what they'd need to do in this setting. Honestly, there's a real Rock vibe to Yoko between the amazing moment of Yoko taunting with the Just Bring It and the straight up Rock Bottom he uses at the end. He was just that charismatic here.

ER: I am in love with Matt's revelation that babyface Yokozuna is the Rock, because it's really accurate. He was a charming guy with a super warm smile. You see Yokozuna toy with Yankem and lean in the corner smiling at the crowd, and it's a face that's impossible to hate. I have a real love for immobile wrestlers, whether it be due to size or age. Yokozuna is so huge here, you can see how mammoth he is just during his entrance (that doesn't show his lower half). Every month he was in WWF he became more and more worthy of his own show on TLC. So the lion's share of the actually movement was left up to Yankem, and Yankem blows, my dudes. I think his punches have nice form, but they aren't as "tight" as they would be 3 years later, so he throws an insanely slow overhand right and a couple decent uppercuts, with some corner stomps that looked so bad you'd think this man was an actual dentist who was just play fighting with his kids. Yokozuna was 600 pounds man, feel free to throw a couple boots to the gut. The real joys of this were watching Yokozuna use his small movement for max effectiveness, like seeing him avoid lock ups early. And that rock bottom finisher was spectacular, shaking the ring so much I thought a new oil reserve was about to spout.


Undertaker vs. Mark Henry WWE Unforgiven 9/16/07 - GREAT

ER: The hype video for this was so sick. It really captured a weird Italian horror movie vibe, torch bearing druids digging up a crate of rattlesnakes in Death Valley after Mark Henry murdered him and cost him his title a few months before. Henry's in ring boasts were edited in nicely, guy came off like such a killer and it's crazy how long it took them to pull the trigger on him. This match could have been the first match in a big feud, but Henry was knocked down swiftly and became the big guy all the other bug guys got constant wins over. Totally baffling. Henry even gets right into some kids face on his way to the ring, a kid there with his family wearing matching safety green shirts. Henry just came off like a big deal, clearly ready. Undertaker gets one of his good entrances too, which Henry trash mouths as it's happening. "Where is he? Where is he?" The crowd oddly couldn't be bother with it, much colder reception than I thought the match deserved.

The match had a slow pace, and that probably turned off a lot folks looking to be critical. But I was into the pace, thought it made the strikes come off like Kong vs. a T-Rex. And they laid out everything appropriately to the story, with Taker coming out ahead quick. If someone had put you on the shelf for 4 months and this is your first opportunity to punish them for it, of course you're gonna come in with big right hands and headbutts, corners splash, more punches, really overwhelming Henry. And I love that Henry's first offense of the match was something big, Taker so fixed on punching Henry and hitting corner splashes that Henry ends up hitting a superplex. If the earlier parts were Kong battling the T-Rex, this was the two of them tumbling off a cliff. I'm not sure I'd seen Henry do a superplex before this, and it looked incredible. Henry throws a great clothesline too, just brickwalling himself into Taker, even catches Taker with a big STO. And then Henry starts spamming splashes. I always love when a big man just starts using effective repeated crushing offense. There's an odd stigma on repeating moves in a match, but there are certain moves that you can do plenty of times and not diminish their value. Henry tossing out several different standing splashes in a match is just smart, and it's a smart way to set up a Taker comeback as he eventually misses one. Henry bumped really well for Taker's big comeback (Henry eating a clothesline over the top to the floor is always going to be a cool visual), and the nearfall off a Taker chokeslam was timed so well, I thought for sure Henry was done. Earlier in the match Taker had gone for a Last Ride, a crazy enough thought that I said outloud "Wait, Taker is going to powerbomb MARK HENRY!?" It failed, but he eventually plants Henry with one as Henry had him trapped in the corner. I like the juxtaposition of Henry hitting that awesome superplex to really take control in the match, with a big powerbomb off the same turnbuckles being the thing that puts him down for good. If people can get over the slow pace - and a fast pace would be a silly thing to expect from this pairing anyway - there's a ton to appreciate here.


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