Phil Schneider, Eric Ritz, Matt D, Sebastian, and other friends write about pro wrestling. Follow us @segundacaida
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Uprising Lucha Libre Workrate Report 1/18/14
This is another match from the 7/28/12 Watsonville show. Looks like this will likely be the only match shown on this episode, which is fine. You bring in two different workers from Mexico, you should be highlighting them (although they really should have had some sort of bumper the week before running down that this match would be shown next week). They are getting better, as in the new year they've at least been advertising upcoming live event dates. They even had a promo for an upcoming February card in SF, but seeing as the main event will be a Blue Demon Jr. singles match I can't really see heading out for that one personally. Still, they're smart and they get a bunch of local Mexican restaurants to sponsor them and I'm sure Blue Demon Jr. as a name plays well.
1. Lady Apache vs. La Diabolica
It's a bummer they have a 30 minute show and stretched a 13 minute match out to fill all that time. It made the whole thing feel pretty chopped up. Also, this struck me odd: The in-ring announcer announced Lady Apache as "One of the best wrestlers I have ever seen...Lady Apache!" Which is true. I can't think of many female workers, let alone luchadoras, who have had a better career than Lady Apache. But it seems bush league and fanboyish to have the ring announcer say "Gee this wrestler is good at wrestling!" Have the announcers do that all you want (although they were really busy doing their trademark move of pointlessly talking about the referee most of the match. I have no clue why they are making that a thing), but a ring announcer shouldn't be opinionated. I've never heard them do that for another worker, so why now? Feel free to announce credentials for a worker, but why give personal thoughts during ring intros?
Anyway, opening matwork was real good and the best part of the match. Apache has some cool leg picks worked in with smooth floatovers and Diabolica works with it well. The control segment gets kinda hacked up. It feels like we got all of it, just commercial breaks cut into the flow. Diabolica hits a big bronco buster and scrapes her shin across Apache's face. Tides turn with Diabolica taking a Cassandro bump around the post and then getting hit with a big Thesz press off the apron. Back in and Apache hits some alright backbreakers before Diabolica gets the win with a Gory bomb. Have to say I did not see them putting the title on Diabolica. I mean, she's in her late 40s and lives in Mexico City and won't actually draw too many additional fans to a card. I'm not even positive she's worked for the promotion after this, which would just continue a long indy tradition of putting a title on a non-regular. Match itself was perfectly fine, but again too bad it couldn't have been edited into the show format better.
1. Lady Apache/Princesa Blanca/Princesa Sugehit vs. Goya Kong/Dark Angel/Luna Magica
These 6 are really good so it's no shock that this match delivered. And it warms my heart that Goya Kong is so over, the fans really go nuts when she tags in. Her working arm drag, arm twist, arm wrench, arm wringer spots with Blanca was hypnotic and awesome. It was like some weird dance that got cut from "Beat It". And I was drunk.
2. Mistico II/Atlantis/La Mascara vs. Ultimo Guerrero/Dragon Rojo Jr./Euforia
Now this was just super fun. Great showing by new Mistico, and an awesome showing by Euforia (who I suppose is going to be the Averno in this relationship) and UG. Euforia and UG bumped wildly all over the place and set up new Mistico very nicely to look spectacular. And boy were there a couple spectacular moments, including another awesome ran from the ring to the floor, which saw UG vault Mistico over his shoulders, over the top rope, into doing a rana on poor Euforia on the floor (who again, sticks the catch awesomely and continues vaulting up my rankings). One of my favorite things about Mistico originale was how high he would bump for everything. He would get insane height on backdrops and bumps to the floor and press slams and all sorts of stuff, and always do really great belly flop bumps as he came back to earth. Lee has started trying to bump that way and it kinda works for him. There was a great press slam spot on the floor with UG pressing him into the guard rail and Mistico spilling out all nastily (I do love press slam spots though). Also there was some really well done team tension with Rojo and UG. both of them want to do their corner offense on a upside down opponent, they argue, UG pie faces him (which I foolishly thought looked too "real" to be part of the match, like Rojo was just in the way and UG got pissed and acted unprofessionally and pulled rank), and then when UG is doing his headstand buttsplash Rojo runs over and shoves him over the ropes. It all looked really awesome and was a great example of team miscommunication adding to a match. Well worth checking this one out.
1. Hombre Bala Jr./Super Halcon Jr. vs. Cholo/Apocalipsis:
Damn, Cholo and Apocalipsis? Did I accidentally start reviewing an LATV show? This was kind of a tale of the two good guys on each team, Cholo and Bala. Those guys rule. The other two aren't bad but they're just kind of...guys. Bala was awesome here, and he broke out all sorts of tope variations that I haven't seen before. He did one onto the rampway, splashing Apocalipsis in the process. It was basically him doing a giant running Pete Rose head first slide but landing right on the guy. Later he did the same Pete Rose to Cholo sitting in the corner and ended it in a headbutt instead of a splash. Awesome. Does Osaka Pro still have a large baseball stable? Change his name around and make him the Human Baseball.
2. Tiffany/Princesa Blanca/La Commandante vs. Lady Apache/Marcela/Dark Angel:
Really fun women's match with all ladies firing on all cylinders. Marcela and Tiffany always match up nicely together, always dig them on the mat and Tiffany kicking her face, and dig Marcela's cool springboard double knees to the stomach (which later cost her). They start the first few minutes and have a nice singles match. Lady Apache looked really fired up here. She always looks good, but she was approaching her peak level work here, though Blanca tends to bring out the best in other ladies. When Dark Angel was in with Commandante, it sure felt like one of the largest "foxy" to "rake face" ratio I've seen in some time. Match sputtered a bit at the end with the normally awesome Tiffany looking a little lost at sea, but I take my good women's wrestling when I can get it, and this was mostly really good.
3. Ephesto/Rey Escorpion/Mephisto vs. La Mascara/Mascara Dorada/Black Warrior:
Well God Damn is Dorada awesome or is Dorada awesome? The answer, in fact, is that Mascara Dorada is awesome. I know I spent last week's review just blowing La Mascara but good lord did Dorada just outclass him here. I could watch a match that was nothing but Dorada ranas. So smooth, so effortless. How neat is it when he does one and lands on his feet as the other guy goes sprawling away? You know I love me some Ephesto and Escorpion, and those guys always shine against Dorada and Mascara, as they are the aforementioned other guys that go sprawling. Black Warrior seems to be one of the main pushed guys in CMLL right now, at least that's how it comes across on TV. I don't know. I don't mind the guy. He does some cool things, has some good energy. I like his slingshot elbow. Hits a fast tope. But is he really a guy they're pushing that hard? It seems like Galavision is really pushing Rush and Black Warrior. Am I crazy?
1. Princess Sugehit/Princesa Blanca/Amapola vs. Lady Apache/Estrellita/Dallys:
Pretty short match, so the falls ended way too quickly, but everybody seemed to work more aggressive than normal so it benefitted from that. I like the rudas team a lot, they have no problem just wandering around and smacking ladies. Sugehit is always a treat in matches like this. Apache always looks way better than the other tecnicas, just a whole level or two higher. Estrellita comes off so desperate all the time. Something about her just seems to constantly scream "Oh please please look at me."
2. Ultimo Guerrero vs. Atlantis:
This was definitely a modern era CMLL main event. First two falls? 3 minutes total. Then a long, laborious your move/my move third fall, filled with big moves, guys kicking out of those big moves, and then guys lying around for a long time before getting up and switching. It just went on forever and wouldn't end. All the goodwill UG built up in 2011 with me (and he had TONS of awesome performances in 2011) pretty much went right out the window here, as this was every UG main event I hated from 2004-2010.
And naturally that Reyes Del Aire was on this same card, but that gets scrapped. Should I mention again how much I hate that CMLL is only 1 hour? I'll watch the RdA sometime soon and post the match with a review.
Damn, LATV is really crate digging this week. This reminds me of episodes a year ago before more stars got injected into LATV. I believe this is the first time that Camaleon has popped up this year, and the first time I have ever seen him. He seemed OK, hit a big dive, has a goofy fun mask. Horuz looked even better here. He's another guy I haven't seen since like March or April, and I wasn't too into him then. But CHOLO. Motherfucking CHOLO is where it's at. I want a Cholo/Bronco team, of tallish rudos who are not flashy, but always solid. Cholo also has a great mask (it looks like Super Calo's, but with a drawn on Mexi-stache). He bumps, he hits a nice splash, you might not think of him often, but you appreciate him while watching him. Rammstein is getting tubbier, but hey, I like fatsos.
Tiffany/Mima Shimoda/Amapola vs. Lady Apache/Estrellita/Silueta:
Well this was pretty sloppy. There seemed to be some spots where gals got lost, and the whole thing was pretty directionless and meandering. Some good spots (Tiffany was awesome again, I really love her head stomps), Amapola stiffing Silueta, Shimoda throwing a boss elbow drop. The crowd started making a lot of noise when Tiffany and Estrellita were in against each other (because booobz), and isn't that what it's all about, America? Just women taking armdrags and throwing 'bows and having jugz. Silueta also hit a neat Thesz press off the apron.
Loco Max/Hooligan/Euforia vs. Angel Azteca Jr./Dragon Lee/Diamante:
Another disappointment. I like most of the guys in this, but this never really got the chance to get rolling. Dragon Lee will hit some crazy stupid awesome stuff off the ropes, Hooligan was wearing a completely ridiculous and amazing get-up, with union jacks and tassles and leather vest, Loco Max makes Diamante look pretty great in taking a nasty bump on the apron, then getting just leveled by Diamante's crazy flip dive. So the match wasn't without merit, just had no cohesion.
Rey Buccanero/Terrible/Texano Jr. vs. Sangre Azteca/Stuka Jr./Sagrado:
You know, this match got a decent amount of time, and I can hardly remember anything about it. Sagrado may be the most forgettable wrestler on the entire roster. Is there anybody who likes Sagrado? Dude is blandness with a capitol B. He's been around for years now and he seems no better now than he was when his failure of a debut push happened. Sagrado: The answer to the question nobody asked. Terrible and Texano are always fun together, they're always playful and look like they're having a good time, kinda goofing around and just punching and kicking dudes. Stuka Jr. is always good for some pretty flying, and Azteca hit a giant jumping ball stomp off the top rope. Hey, it wasn't bad. You won't remember it tomorrow.
Averno/Ephesto/Mephisto vs. Angel de Oro/La Mascara/Super Porky:
Averno and Ephesto are just born to make guys like Mascara and Oro look good. I think Oro and Mascara are fine, but their value goes up insanely when they are opposite Averno/Ephesto. Like, when Phil or SLL post something write after I post something, they look way better just by association. Phil is my expert rudo base who makes all my ranas look good and bumps faster than necessary to the floor. But, hey, I *like* Oro and Mascara, and I *like* their ranas and headscissors and flippy hoo-ha. It's fun and slick and looks good. But I was a big fan of Mistico's flippy hoo-ha and we've all seen how that works out when a guy (you'd think would be capable) like Chavo gets his mitts on a Mistico special. Sin Cara still works for me because he has more physical charisma than most guys that do what he do. He takes moves well and projects well and gets great height on moves. I have a feeling that Oro would look pretty ugly in the ring with Curt Hawkins. But I enjoy Curt Hawkins. Just don't want to see him as a lucha base. And that's why Averno and Ephesto are fucking awesome. They make me want to see guys do moves to them. And Ephesto has an amazing mask that nobody ever really talks about. He looks like a stalker that Arnold would kill early on in "The Running Man". I mean that in the best possible way. Richard Dawson.
I've been falling behind. I'm sorry. Turner Classic Movies has been really good lately. They've been digging deep and showing great stuff like Dodsworth and weird 70s prison movies like The Slams. So lucha fell by the wayside a bit. But I'm back. This episode had two short matches that I enjoyed. In fact, I loved the main event. It was short, sure, but everybody was working with a passion that you don't always see in your Arena Mexico main events. Volador is fast becoming my favorite luchador, but this match highlights another great Ultimo Guerrero performance, who's showing more energy in 2011 than he has in years. Main event is well worth watching. More below.
Tiffany/La Seductora/La Commandante vs. Lady Apache/Dark Angel/Estrellita:
Yeah!! Tiffany is back and she fucking ruled it in this match. Talking tons of shit and bumping all over for all the tecnicas. When did Estrellita turn? Tiffany goes out with an injury and Estrellita is just a good girl now? A good girl wearing caution tape over her business? Rachel is watching this with me and she thinks Commandante looks like Harvey Keitel. Like, current Harvey Keitel. She also looks like that couple in the crowd who look like twins (are they brother/sister? Two people who fantasize about having sex with themselves? Mother/son? Love triangle with Commandante?). Lady Apache is clearly a cut above here, though Dark Angel always looks good. Tiffany was the real superstar though. She does all these little things that can get easily skipped in lucha, such as standing on Apache's wrist while everybody gets in position to triple team her. How many times in lucha have you seen somebody just waiting around to take a beating? It drives me batty sometimes. A tecnico will get bodyslammed, and then just lie motionless on the mat waiting around for all three rudos to sync up and start beating his ass. But here, Apache runs into a boot, and Tiffany awesome stands on her fucking wrist, waiting for her rudas to get into position to commence ass beating. Such a tiny thing, but something that gets skipped a lot in rushed CMLL lucha. Tiffany is awesome.
Ultimo Guerrero/Volador Jr./Dragon Rojo Jr. vs. Jushin Liger/La Sombra/Atlantis:
Liger isn't wearing his stupid yellow wig, to the thanks of everybody. Rudos attack before the fall on the rampway and it is swift and violent. Oftentimes rushed CMLL main events are just pointless quick spots and unrealistic pinfalls, with guys just being pinned after hardly taking any offense. But the rushed nature actually worked in this match's favor. The rudos were rushing through spots in the first fall, yes, but it gave the rudos a sense of immediacy and brutality, with them coming off as a wicked well-oiled machine (instead of guys just trying to get their spots in). Rojo smacks Liger around with glee, Ultimo beats the piss out of Atlantis, and Volador is my favorite wild card in lucha right now. He rarely sticks to one tecnico during a match, just floating around and beating up whomever needs it. He hits a running superkick in the first fall that is just sooooo fucking great, pretty much my favorite superkick in the history of my wrestling fandom. Atlantis gets thrown into the turnbuckles, and Volador sprints across the ring and just superkicks the feeling out of Atlantis' face. I'm not sure I've ever seen a running superkick before. It's a move performed with an opponent running towards you, or from standing next to your opponent. But Volador just sprints corner to corner and plants it under Atlantis' chin. Brutal. I literally played it back 8 times. It's around the 2 minute mark of the youtube video embedded here (huge thanks again go out to Cubsfan for posting all of these). Atlantis gets tossed violently to the floor, rudos pull off an complex slingshot/missle dropkick combo from the ramp to the ring, UG stretches the shit out of Atlantis with a nasty over shoulder single leg Boston crab, while grapevining Atlantis' neck with his legs. Fucking awesome sub. So that's the first fall, just about 4 minutes, but a non-stop violent beating.
Second fall is more rudo beatdown until the tecnico comeback, with UG taking his now-common lightning fast head over heels bump to the floor, Liger hitting a nice big plancha from the top onto Rojo, and Volador making a Sombra finish look great. Sombra had Volador in an electric chair position, dropped him into a belly to back, then dumped him with a German. It looked awesome, too.
1st fall dance partners square off in the 3rd, with UG clotheslining Atlantis' face off (nice bump from Atl off it, too), and then UG taking another ridiculous bump to the floor, with him whipping over the top and just plunging out of sight. Volador and Sombra top their sequence, though, with one of the more spectacular rope running segments since the days of Freelance regularly making tape. Crazy fast evasions, a couple great headscissors from both, Volador throws a missed clothesline that would have robbed Sombra of his taste if he didn't duck, Volador spills to the floor and Sombra hits a GREAT flip dive, which Volador then just fucking AWESOMELY ignores, standing up and swinging. Volador looked very uncooperative on that dive no sell, but in a way that totally added to the segment. I mean, Volador was practically up on his feet before Sombra, and Sombra seemed legit surprised when Volador jumped him. Back in and UG takes a THIRD nutty bump over the top to the floor (good lord!) and Atlantis hits a great dive that sends UG into the seats. Sombra hits a big moonsault into Volador, who then knocks into UG, sending him into the seats again (awesome). Rojo rolls through a rana and pins Liger to win, and this was just too much fun and awesome. One of my favorite "under 10" matches of the last couple years. WELL worth taking 10 minutes of your day to watch this.
So CMLL loves me so much that they decide to throw up a rematch from the crappy match that happened two weeks ago....except the match was TOTALLY AWESOME THIS TIME! What the fuck happened here!? I've been seeing Bengala and Zayko all year, and these dudes have sucked in everything. Camorra popped up more recently and he was even worse! And yet here we have Zayko looking like a top notch rudo, taking a MASSIVE Jerry bump that saw him spill into the front row, stiffing up the tecnicos (when did he suddenly gain an awesome elbow drop?) and working a convincing mat sequence with Bengala. What the hell is going on here? Camorra doesn't look like a total goof either! In other weeks he's looked like a bad version of Bronco, and now he just kinda...works like Bronco, which is a massive step up. Bengala is still kind of a chump, but you can pair up a fairly bland tecnico with a couple good rudos and suddenly you don't mind their sequences at all. Trueno is a guy with a bunch of potential, and again, good rudo just makes a decent tecnico even better. Man this was a pleasant surprise, especially Zayko. Sooooo many minutes wasted watching Zayko matches this year, and now he's tricking me into actively looking forward to more Zayko matches. I'm such a sucker. You need to watch this to see if I'm crazy. I was eating a donut while watching, so I could have just been basking in the warm glow of cake donut, chocolate frosting and sprinkles.
2. Electrico/Bam Bam/Astral vs. Demus 3:16/Pequeno Warrior/Pierrothito:
Well, this was fucking awesome. Who would have guessed it would be awesome when you have the two best rudo minis (Demus/Pierrothito), the best tecnico mini (Bam Bam), and one of the more underrated minis (Electrico). This was just as awesome as it looks on paper and you want every hot little second of it. For some reason Demus has only been showing up on all the CMLL shows that air in Mexico this year, and almost never showing up on US TV. He and Pierrothito bump faster than you can imagine, flying into and out of the ring and working intricate multi-level spots with numerous guys, always telling cool little stories, making the tecnicos shine and still looking like total badasses. Electrico gets time to shine here, working two GREAT sequences with Demus/Pierrothito, and basically everybody looks good here. Dive train in the 3rd fall is nuts with Astral vaulting off the ring post with a NUTS corkscrew dive, Warrior and Bam Bam flattening the first two rows of chairs (great visual with chairs and fans spilling out everywhere). There are too many great spots and sequences here (Bam Bam getting rana'd off Pierrothito's shoulders was crazy), and you seriously want every single bit of this. So awesome. One of the best minis matches of the year.
This was really awesome, until it got to all the one and done eliminations. First half gave every woman a little chance to shine, including a nice long mat sequence between Apache and Seductora. Crowd is pretty quiet until Goya Kong comes in and then the crowd instantly wakes up, cheering and blowing air horns and going nuts. This gal is over. Between Goya Kong and Melissa McCarthy, 2011 is becoming the year of the BBW. My girlfriend Rachel warms my heart by recognizing Princesa Sugei, saying, "Hey, that's the one woman that works stiffer than all the other women!" Yes. She completely is. I have never seen Kiara and Silueta doesn't show up too much, so it was neat seeing them in longer segments. Blanca is really good and doesn't seem to get talked up that much by people who enjoy ladies wrestling. So yeah, first 10 minutes are really fun, but then once people start running in, getting eliminated by one move, someone else runs in and eliminates someone with one move, etc. it starts getting pretty meh. Still well worth checking out. This is a killer week of LATV so far.
4. Metro/Sagrado/Stuka Jr. vs. Virus/Euforia/Vangelis:
Looks good on paper, in practice it doesn't go very long. Tecnicos win in straight falls, pretty by the numbers in the limited time they got. Virus works twice as fast as everybody else, Vangelis has some cool vulture spots (where he just kinda swoops in and kicks a dude while he's distracted), and nothing bad happens...it's just super short.
5. La Sombra/Hector Garza/La Mascara vs. Rey Buccanero/Terrible/Texano Jr.:
Yeah! Now this is an ace main event! Garza is just killer here and the crowd is amped to boo team TRT. Buccanero clearly lost a hair match that I have not watched yet. Garza/Sombra with a sweet asai moonsault (landing on the feet) into an instant standing moonsault to end the first fall. Crowd shot of a cute woman in the crowd screaming her head off as Garza removes his shirt. Sombra starts to remove his and Terrible/Texano instantly kick the shit out of him. There wasn't a dull moment here and these guys all match up really nicely. 20 minutes breezes by and judging by a horrendous recent Observer poll, more people really need to get on the 2011 Hector Garza tip.
