R.I.P. All Japan Motherload - Terry Funk

Months back I wrote up several rare late 70s/early 80s AJPW matches that had been uploaded by mysterious Japanese benefactor SKK, who seemingly got ahold of a bunch of footage that nobody had ever seen before. There were some real gems in the lot, but I took a break to write about other things and intended to go back. Literally the day I decided to go back and dive into his collection, was the day his page got torpedoed. Crushed. Obviously this stuff just needs to be removed from the internet. We can't have weirdoes watching Bill Irwin matches from 35 years ago. Thanks, universe. And also, thanks, universe.

Terry Funk vs. Tor Kamata - AJPW 12/3/79

This is my favorite Tor Kamata match! Which, yes, is like choosing your favorite nu metal band. Except this is good! This is the hardest I've seen Kamata work, and Funk is really great at putting over offense of guys like Kamata. Funk can make a gassed Kamata chinlock look good, and Kamata did gas out, but he did so nobly, by doing a too-much-fun arm drag sequence with Funk. Two large men working like late 70s Ricky Steamboats, Tor taking multiple armdrags and rolling through the bumps to run up and into more armdrags, then get tossed on a fun monkey flip/back drop. Kamata also drops a fine kneedrop across Terry's chest. Funk punches him a bunch and then we get one of the more amusing ref bump sequences I've seen, as Terry gets a nice nearfall on a small package and then grabs an abdominal stretch. As the ref leans in to check on Kamata, he hip tosses Funk onto the ref! And Terry is great at flopping on the poor ref. The next move Terry takes he makes sure to do an exaggerated "Rock taking the Stunner" sell so that he goes out of his way to flop on the still downed ref, again. This ref also has brittle bone disease (probably) which causes a man falling onto him to knocked him out, and this gives Kamata ample time to cheat with a chain and choke Funk the hell out. 

It's all thrown out, and then the real fighting begins as Kamata gets busted open huge and his whole face is bloody, and we all remember how much we fucking miss blood in professional wrestling. I'm going to press up trucker hats that say "Make America Blade Again". Kamata bails to the floor and uproots one of those strands of connected folding chairs and launches them up into the ring at Funk. Kamata then has a real Oh Shit moment as he realizes Funk now has a row of chairs and he is standing in the ring over Kamata on the floor, lording over him like the Greek God of Assbeating looking down from Olympus. Funk launches the chairs at Kamata as Kamata does an awesome Don Knotts-ish comedic scramble run to get out of the way, and we fade...


A Haiku Terry Funk vs. Jerry Oates AJPW 7/83

Fine Oates headscissor
Jerry once wrestled a bear
No chance against Funk


Funk's hand and Oates' face
Worked Funk four times on this tour
Sore jaw guaranteed


Oates gets some offense
Terry can be generous
But not much to see

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You're All Right, You Put up a Good Clean Fight, I'm Afraid You'll Lose Tonight to The King

Jerry Lawler/Tommy Rich/Jerry Oates v. Rip Rogers/Bob Roop/Ted Oates GCW 10/31/84 - GREAT

Truly enjoyable workrate TV six man tag. Just a menagerie of random awesome 80's wrestlers (plus the Oateses) moving at a fast pace. We get to see Lawler work against both Rip Rogers and Bob Roop, neither guy got any sort of Memphis run, but both matchups are really fun. Rogers is exactly how you remember him, athletic wild bumper who had a great pace. Roop didn't do as much of his awesome tricky mat wrestling in this context, but he threw some nice punches and he and Lawler had a great standoff. Tommy Rich worked face in peril and threw nifty elbows, the Oates's were perfectly fine, and the match breaks down entertainingly at the end. The kind of match you didn't know you really wanted to see.

Jerry Lawler v. Chris Benoit 1994 - FUN

This is sort of dream match (well pre 2007), the best US based worker of the 1980s v. one of the best of the 90s. However it was pretty much Lawler plugging Benoit into Lawler's touring heel match. Lawler's touring heel match is a pretty great match, but in the role of heel Lawler opponent, Benoit doesn't have the charisma of Eric Embry or Tito Santana and it comes off flat. I imagine this would have been better as heel Benoit v. face Lawler. This had some stuff I liked, Lawler selling the diving headbutt like Fred Sanford coming home to Elizabeth was pretty great, but this was overall sort of a disappointment. Post match Benoit double nogging knocks Lawler and his valet, and it is hard enough to watch Benoit matches without him manhandling women. The rating is FUN, because it had too much good stuff to be SKIPPABLE, not because I had particularly fun time watching it.

Jerry Lawler/Bill Dundee v. Billy Joe Travis/Bulldog Rains MPPW 7/26/98 - FUN

Only about five minutes and it needed another two minutes or so to push over the to the GREAT category, but man alive what we got of this match was pretty awesome. Bulldog Rains is a perfectly serviceable bald goateed guy with big arms and a gut, but holy shit did Billy Joe Travis look amazing when he was in the ring. Travis and Dundee just unload on each other with Travis's uppercuts vs. Superstars short hooks, BJ also takes one of his in the lights high backdrops. Memphis studio wrestling at its most energetic, Lawler looked good, although this style was always more suited to Dundee who shined. Mainly though this match made me want to do a BJ Travis Complete and Accurate.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE KING

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