2014 Ongoing Match of the Year List

20. Corporal Robinson/Heidi Lovelace/Mickie Knuckles v. Kongo Kong/Randi West/Jordynne Grace IWA-MS 3/9

PAS: The grimy, scuzzy, dirtbag awesomeness that IWA-MS does so well. This is a mixed tag stretcher match and looks like a street fight in the parking lot of a Kentucky Arby's. If there was a methed out white trash version of Worldstar hip hop, this would be front page. Kongo Kong is a giant dude working a Kamala gimmick and he and Robinson brawl around the arena, smashing each other. Mickie has put on some padding and works even stiffer and the other girls are right there killing each other with shots. There is some kind of angle which takes Robinson out of the match a bit, which kind of sucks, but man alive is the finish brutal, Kong 747's Heidi Lovelace through a table and just leaves a flattened pile of menthol cigarettes, track marks and tattoos. Welcome back IWA-MS may you live a thousand lives.

ER: Fun match that really only IWA-MS can do. No other promotion has the right combo of dangerously stiff and dangerously unsanitary. I'm a big fan of fatties and Kongo Kong is gigantic and has a super sloppy fat guy body, made to look even sloppier by preposterously fitting trunks. He looks completely unathletic, but then shows me by taking a crazy bump to the floor off a Corp. Robinson clothesline. Kong also has that cool Andre "pulling" strength, as he launches all the girls into towards Robinson, who had been wedged into the corner with a chair. Corp and Mickie have clearly been hitting the gym since I last saw them, and by hitting the gym I mean eating tons of fried food while selling pills at a street fair. But both of them can throw a mean forearm and nasty headbutt, so they're still alright in my book. I was impressed with all the girls here, all of them worked reckless enough that they fit right into a wild crowd brawl. Also, shout out to the moral compass in the crowd, a man yelling out to Kong "Hey why don't you try picking on a man!" Of course seeing this crowd, he was likely just using that as a clever alibi, like acting sick at work the day before you plan on calling in sick. The bodies are buried at that guy's house.


2014 MOTY MASTER LIST