Segunda Caida

Phil Schneider, Eric Ritz, Matt D, Sebastian, and other friends write about pro wrestling. Follow us @segundacaida

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Wrestling With Death: Thoughts As I Watch It and Waste My Life

I had to add that colon into the title so that people wouldn't misinterpret this as me having an internal struggle and wrestling with my own disappointing mortality.

So Derrick King is on a national network. That's weird, right? He got married to a gal named Jaime, who possibly set a record for "BumpIt Use on Wedding Day" and the family he married into has an indy fed in Arkansas. And a funeral home. And he works at both. I am completely unfamiliar with Mid Southern Championship Wrestling. I mean, I'm unfamiliar with Arkansas. I would wager before it became known as Bill Clinton's home state that it was our least talked about state in the union. That would probably be Delaware now. The hashtag for this show is #WrestleInPeace. I have never heard of Lafonce Latham - owner and proprietor of both MCW and the funeral home -  before but he seems like a guy I would have dug. He's clearly in his 60s now and from the clips shown he still seems like a guy I would dig. I would definitely go to these shows if I lived in Arkansas. Also, living in Arkansas, I would have already made a series of several horrible life decisions by that point.

I wonder who or how many people TNA would murder to get on a network like this. WGN is pretty huge. TNA is on Destination America right now, which I just confirmed yesterday is an actual television channel available to watch on televisions. 90% of the programming on Destination America appears to be advertisements masquerading as actual programming. Tuesday is filled with hilarious Disney "programming". They are supposed to be actual shows, but they have names like "Inside Disney Cruise Lines" or "Behind the Scenes: Walt Disney World Resort". The channel also shows an incredible sounding show called "Buying Log Cabins" which officially has to be the most niche reality show ever. Buying Log Cabins looks like a joke that got cut from UHF. Looking deeper at their schedule, and 40% of the channel seems entirely focused on the Alaska real estate scene. And literally all Friday is episodes of TNA Impact on a loop, 18 hellish hours. 6 AM to midnight. At what point in that 18 hours does Impact turn to Suicide Pact?

And here's this show, on an actual network that produces original dramas and shows Cubs and White Sox games.

I stopped watching after 20 minutes or so when I noticed MeTV was showing an old Gunsmoke episode with Anthony James as a hillbilly trying to operate a secret still.

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